<p>Hello,</p>
<p>Please let me know if you can read my essay for the Columbia supplement. I can send it to you, but please post your response on this thread so I will not forget to read or respond to any feedback. Thank you.</p>
<h1>1- well written. You obviously can write and did your homework. I don’t see any of “you” in the answer though. You identify Dostoevsky’s questions but you don’t relate them to yourself at all. Great, concise book report.</h1>
<h1>2- Again, well written. That could be a summary on their brochure. I don’t get a sense for who you are, other than diligent. Did you visit? Wasn’t there a moment that was decisive? You’re a really good writer, but if you change “columbia” to Harvard, isn’t this the same essay?</h1>
<h1>3- I like this piece more than the others, but I like it as an answer to #2. At least it could ONLY be written about Columbia. You still haven’t SHOWN us anything. You just tell. As someone that wants to major in Creative Writing, why wouldn’t you write CREATIVELY? Tell us the story of how you FELT when your teacher told you that and why? Tell us the story of when you made your dad cry with a birthday card! Tell us the story of the strange little girl that lives across the street (as you imagine it). (random idea, but you get my point, right?)</h1>
<p>Sorry to be harsh. These are EXCELLENTLY written pieces but I think you don’t show much of yourself nor do you take any chances.</p>
<p>-d</p>
<p>Thank you for the feedback</p>
<p>I’ll give you some feedback, but can you take a look at my common app essay as well?</p>
<p>Essay #1
I think a major part of these supplemental essays is to show the college more about yourself. You talk a lot about the author’s writing and the content of the book, but I don’t see anything about YOU in it. Like what you got out of reading the book, etc…</p>
<p>Essay #2
You obviously know a lot about the school and its campus, but you don’t really talk about how you would fit into the school and how you portray the aspects of a Columbia student. This essay is basically a summary of what Columbia is, not of what you would be like at Columbia or even how Columbia goes with your ideals/personality.</p>
<p>Essay #3
I couldn’t agree more with the previous user about this essay. I won’t add further comments because I would just be repeating everything that kinnikinik said.</p>
<p>Thanks. If you send me your essay, I’d be happy to read it.</p>
<p>pink, will get back to you very soon. Anyone else have any feedback?</p>
<p>Could I get this post deleted because it is a duplicate? I regret posting this essay now because if plagiarism concerns, and I posted it in another forum. Is there a chance I could get it deleted, or would someone else be willing to submit a complaint about the dual posts so it could be deleted?</p>
<h1>2 Maybe you could show not tell for the first few sentences? Maybe describe it vividly instead? Like autumn fall from the branches of the trees and they land amongst a stack of books. Plato. Aristotle. =)))))) yeah anyways, you could paint a scene.</h1>