Coming to America

[Twoin18]

I know there are a lot of first and second gen Americans on CC so I thought I’d start a thread responding to this question from @ucbalumnus

“do people with mid-level talent and SES (other than trailing spouses and family) already living in other rich countries find the US attractive to immigrate to?”

Did you/your family end up in the US accidentally (eg married an American) or was it a deliberate choice to come here? What were your reasons for moving? Would you do it again?

I always thought of the US an attractive country to move to, and it’s not a surprise that we ended up here.

I had an aunt who had moved to the US in the 1960s (initially as an au pair) and seemed impossibly glamorous when she came to visit us in England. She also had an aunt who’d moved to the US a generation earlier (post WWII, on her own rather than as a GI Bride).

My experience growing up was a mix of Roger Bennett’s “(Re)born in the USA” and Alan Bennett’s “The History Boys”, so I was always going to leave that area, and when an opportunity came up to move to the US for work, I jumped at it. Spouse was onboard too, as my in-laws had lived in the US in the 1960s and always regretted going back to the UK.

I never thought we’d return to the UK, despite only coming here on a temporary basis at first. And I certainly felt like Roger Bennett about getting US citizenship:

(Re)born In The USA by Roger Bennett

[Sweetgum]

Interesting. Thanks for sharing your history. We are many generations here on both sides of my family in the US but my D22 really wants to move to another country.

[momofboiler1]

My father came to the US post WWII. My mother not until 1958. Both sides had big chucks of the family immigrating at those times. That said, the family that remained in western Europe all stayed and are doing well. No one else came over after that initial wave. I haven’t heard a peep from any of my D’s generation wanting to move to the US. We had family friends who came for a few years for work but their kids moved back when they were of age.

[greenbutton]

My grandfather was Canadian; degree in chemistry who was recruited by a US firm in Boston. When WW2 arrived, he decided it was inappropriate to be here without citizenship, so he went through the process and was always very proud of his citizen status, even as he continued to speak French at home.

[Lindagaf]

My husband has a very large family. He is one of six siblings, and his parents each had many siblings. His eldest brother has six children of his own.

Only my husband and his niece live in the US. I’m American, so it was easy for my husband. My niece came when her husband was offered a job in Silicon Valley, but they now live in the PNW, which they love.
Others in the family have come here for a couple of years, or study abroad, but they all live where they were born.

My D no longer lives in the US. About 18 months ago, she moved back to the country where she was born (she is a citizen). She is completing a master’s degree there and has just signed a lease for a house share. I can’t see her ever coming back. My S, on the other hand, is as American as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet. I can’t see him leaving our town, let alone the US.

[AustenNut]

My father moved to the U.S. due to political persecution and imminent physical harm (flight to the U.S. was the first one he could get himself and his family on). From that description alone, it’s probably evident that he didn’t come from what most in the U.S. consider a “rich” country, but he was definitely at least what CC considers upper middle class in his country. But I’ve always wondered whether he would have preferred for the first flight to be to Paris, as he was most definitely a francophile. He never did renounce his native citizenship, even though he spent nearly two-thirds of his life in the U.S. Of his two children who were born in that country (both under age 2 at the time of departure), only one has gotten U.S. citizenship, and that person was probably in her late 30s when that happened. But all of his kids have remained in the U.S. and are unlikely to return to his home country.

On the other side of my family, my great-grandfather had been a farmer in a “rich” country but wanted his kids to have additional career options. He came to the U.S. first and then sent for his wife and children to join him. Of his 7 kids, one became a pastor, two became doctors, one became an engineer, and two became nurses, so he got his wish.

[CMA22]

I and both of my siblings married people who were born in another country and immigrated to the US as children. All are US citizens now.

Two had parents who came for education and/or job opportunities. The third was a war refugee. Two are bilingual. None is likely to move out of the US now.

[DigitalDad]

My parents were iron-curtain political/economic refugees - to “western” Europe. As a child I was ignorant/oblivious that they had (always) still seen themselves this way; although as a youngster I eventually realized that we clearly had started at the floor, not even the first rung, of the economic ladder of a rich country.

Another family from the (what I now realize where refugee housing complexes) had “some” relative living in NYC. I vividly remember their grandma coming back from her one and only visit to NYC. The fact alone that she had taken an airplane was mind-boggling, but then I saw my first-ever, classic 1960s, tiny photo of the Manhattan skyline and stories of the Empire State Building, and I still recall the impression that had made on me.

Combine with that, the youth/young adult (entirely fictional) travel/adventure novel series that a prolific, domestic author had written half a life-time earlier, and I was hooked – but never in my wildest dreams would I have fathomed any chance of actually “leaving” to move here.

Then out of nowhere, and not by design, my first post-college job landed me with a (small) multi-national,… and the rest is history.

What got me here initially was driven by a sense of adventure (and admittedly the perception of folks back home), and what made me decide to stay was the reversal of this country’s general attitude from:
“unless it’s expressly permitted, you mustn’t do that!”, to:
“where does it say you can not do that?”

(except where it seems to clash with Puritan principles )

[Lizardly]

H came here from what was then a lower middle class country for education and economic opportunity. I think his dad pushed him. H talks about moving back now that is home country is wealthier, but I think it is just talk.

[great_lakes_mom]

My dad, like much of his graduating class at a university in Scotland emigrated to Canada for job opportunities in the early 1950s. His company sent him to Texas, where he met my mom. They returned to Canada, where I was born, but in time settled in the US, where my sibs and I grew up. He preferred Canada, and I grew up hearing that most things were better in Britain, the food, the values, etc, which his mother, who never left Scotland, echoed. After about 25 years his American company sent him to Hong Kong, where he remained for the rest of his career and then retirement in Thailand. He appreciated the license for greater creativity in the US, in many fields, and the more eclectic and diverse educational system. Arizona and the southwest in general he adored as a place to live due to the dramatic landscapes, relaxed nature of the culture, and contrast to Scotland. He had a chance for a high-level executive position in Chicago and was happy to choose Asia instead.

So, yes, he was happy to be in North America for the opportunities provided, and he was glad we grew up where we did. His preferences shifted to Asia at a time opportunities were expanding there. But that is a more complicated discussion.

My uncle came to the US for career opportunities as well, and also adored the rural west, where he enjoyed retirement.

[Bromfield2]

My Dad came here for economic opportunity. His father had traveled to the US for a mining job, stayed for 6 months, and returned to his home country. He did this every year. Apparently, this practice of going to the US to make money was common in my Dad’s family. My Dad first went to work in Canada (where he had relatives and a mining job). He, however, stayed in Canada and became a citizen. My Dad then saved money to pay for his brother to immigrate to Canada. That brother was killed in a car accident, a week after arriving in Toronto. After that incident, my Dad had a chance to work for a childhood friend who was starting a construction company in the US. He wanted my Dad to help him run the company. Dad left Canada and came to the US, where he and his friend created a sucessful construction business. My Dad had difficulty getting US citizenship. He belonged to a social club made up of folks from the island where he was born. After WW2, his country of origin became part of the Communist bloc. During the McCarthy era, the feds investigated this social group. Apprently, his membership in the group came up as my Dad was applying for citizenship. He eventually did become a US citizen.

I was very young when that happened and didn’t remember much. It seems crazy that this group was investigated. When I was a kid we always went to Sunday picnics this group sponsored. My impression as an adult was that these immigrants (all of whom were American citizens) had no interest in politics and weren’t trying to overthrow the US government–they just wanted to drink, eat, talk about the Old Country, and gossip.

My mother was an immigrant from the same country as Dad. She had no say about coming to the US; she came here with an older sister and brother when she was 7. They were traveling to meet their father who had settled in the US earlier (he was a miner in West Virginia). He saved money to bring his family to the US because his wife had died and my Mom and her siblings were living with relatives. My Mom thinks her mother had cancer, but she doesn’t really know. Long story short, when my Mom and her siblings finally came to the US, they were met by their uncle (father’s brother) when they learned their father had died in a mining accident a week before. They were raised by their uncle and his wife in West Virginia. My Mom said she had horrible experiences as an immigrant kid in West Virginia. When she started high school, she moved and went to live with her older sister, who was married and living in Chicago. She met my Dad when she went to a dance sponsored by a church that many immigrants from their home country attended.

My Mom never went back to the country of her birth and rarely spoke about her years in WVA. My Dad, in contrast, visited his relatives almost every year. My brother and I went with him when we were teenagers, but my Mom just refused to go. Also, based on experiences in WVA, my Mom never went anywhere South of the Mason Dixon line. She was convinced everyone there hated foreigners. My Dad wanted to retire to FL, but my Mom refused to even visit.

I never knew any of this until I started to create a family tree to help my daughter with a school project and started talking to my parents. After they passed, I was doing family geneaology and started talking to my aunts and older cousins. I was amazed when I found out the details of their stories and even more surprised that my folks never talked about any of this.

[tkoparent]

Interesting thread. My family has kind of a coming and going from America story. All four of my grandparents were immigrants, mostly seeking economic opportunity, although my grandmother was sent from Germany in part to help her brother, who had become ill with TB after arriving in the US. Just by chance, I ended up marrying a Japanese who came to the US for graduate school, and my brother, my only sibling, married a woman who grew up in the US but had UK nationality. I moved to Japan with my husband early in my career and ended up living and working there for many years. And then my brother moved to the UK with his wife about five years ago. Although people often assumed I would stay in Japan forever since I had been there so long, I had actually always intended to return to the US at some point, and that was my deal with my husband. But then when the time came, and we started seriously thinking about where to go, how to get a Green Card for my husband, etc., I realized I would really rather do something entirely different, and so, earlier this year, we moved to France. I am happy with our decision, and I’m closer to my brother here, but I do feel a little odd when I think about all the trouble my grandparents went to to get to the States. I don’t really see myself moving back again, but it’s possible one or both of my kids might want to go at some point. It’s nice to know they will have the option.

[great_lakes_mom]

What an amazing story! So much hardship for you mom. I’m so glad you were able hear the details due to your Ds project.