Common App essay - Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

<p>Hey everybody! I just finished my first draft of the long Common App essay. I'm using the "pick your own topic" option, and I'm writing about my love of photo manipulation. I think it might be a bit long and cheesy, but I'm not quite sure what to cut out or how to fix it. English/writing is one of my weaker areas, so I struggled a bit with writing it and any help would be greatly, greatly appreciated.
Please let me know if you'd be willing to give me some feedback, and I'll send it over to you in a PM.<br>
Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>I’ll have a look if you want.</p>