Do you any of you guys think its a good idea to write about how my family won a Visa lottery and came to the united states?This is more of a topic that is very positive and will definitely showcase that I am that type of person as well(very positive). However, I would like to know if I can include things much more personal like missing my grandparents homegrown fruits and vegetables and experiencing culture shock once I came to America. This topic will be under the first prompt, but I also have many ideas that I’ve brainstormed that I can use to write the other prompts with as well. As I’m writing my essays I realize that oftentimes I know what to write, but I’m not sure how to put it in words. I’m a great essay writer, but because English is not my first language I find it really hard sometimes to convey my thoughts and feelings on paper without it sounding out of place. My apologies because this is such a long post.
Thanks - J.A
Your essay needs to be about YOU. Not your family’s Visa Lottery, not your Grandparent’s homegrown fruits and veggies.
You need to use your essay to showcase things about YOU that aren’t contained elsewhere in your application… your curiosity, your work ethic, your ability to change… whatever.
You’re right. Ugh I knew this would be a bad topic because I really wanted to steer clear of immigration stories and what not. But then again the first prompt does ask about background so I don’t really know anymore.
OK, first question-- when did you immigrate? You want an essay that talks about 17 year old you, not 3 year old you.
Assuming it was fairly recent, is there some small story you can take from that larger experience to discuss?
Yes, about 7 years ago(2010) .Me and my family are still getting used to things and I’m helping my parents understand the US college application process because I will be the first to attend college come fall next year. And yes, If I will be able to remember :))
The Visa lottery is a good topic. It’s kinda like Willie Wonka and Chocolate Factory. Everyone wants the golden ticket, but then again there is both upside and downside risk, just like there is to almost everything in life. You of course would have to write the end of your personal story and how it turned out in the end for the better or worse.
I don’t know… writing your college essay about something that happened to your family when you were 10 doesn’t seem to do much to convince the reader that 17 year old you would be a good addition to their student body.
Again, I would find a small, current snapshot from that experience and write about it instead.
@prepparent I actually was thinking about writing something similar to what you just suggested
I hate to be a buzzkiller, but your topic is soooooo common. There are so many immigrant kids that write about their experience, culture shock, and missing things from home. If you really want to write about things you miss from home, make it small little things that can show your personality.
Small little things…now that’s overdone. This is a tired overdone topic to write about a small thing in every day life that conveys some big thing about you. Yawn.
I don’t know, @preppedparent . Small things seem to be pretty popular with adcoms right now. There is an infinite variety of things that are important and have meaning to an individual. Maybe small isn’t the right word, but rather, “personal.”
I help students with essays professionally. One of my students wrote about her nightlight. Her parents wanted her to write about her summer cruise. I agreed with her idea. Another wrote about the first time she ate pizza. Now, she was an immigrant child. IMO, it was a very good essay which revealed her personality through a new experience as an immigrant. She got into her first choice. Another kid wrote about her love of a particular word in a foreign language. She got into Yale. Another student wrote about his experience as a pizza delivery guy and what he learned about people from his job. (Pizza is clearly popular at the moment:-). Not a small thing actually, but definitely personal. Adcoms read a lot of cliched essays. I think they like reading about these quirky, private things. Maybe I am wrong, of course. No doubt there will be changes in the types of essays they prefer as time goes by.
The fact that the OP and the 2nd person here to hear about her background had the same idea of how to present it makes me think that it’s probably not as unique an approach as one would hope.
@Lindagaf You’re right small may be in right now, but I’ve heard this mantra for the past several years. It’s getting prosaic. I don’t wonder if the tide will change on this approach, but when. It’s overdone. I’d go back to Harry Bauld approaches, vs “the little” thing which may be in vogue or may have lived its course by now. just my two cents. BTW, The pizza immigrant thing, I think I reviewed her essay for her, and I think student did not get into her first choice.
Bear in mind, OP may be applying to Penn.
It’s ok to mention, as a “frame” to the larger point of your essay. Ime, it’s not overdone. And showing ties to your identity is good.
But you need to acutely remember that this is something adcoms read to understand not just what you could bring to their campus (you cited a positive attitude,) but also how you think, what you know about what they value and how you make choices about what to write. (That’s one reason the 2nd grade essays don’t work; they’re not relevant, not fresh, and the applicant is missing the point. This is not meant to be an ordinary clever essay.)
Remember, “Show, not just tell.” It means the narrative and the examples need to speak for you, in good part. How did you integrate? Is there some good you accomplished by taking on a new challenge? Will the reader see it for him/herself? Have you become a bridge among peers, not just for your parents? What can you “show?”
Think about it. Some of these adjustment stories are great. But you need to give it dimension that’s relevant to your college admit review. 
Last year, I read an immigrant pizza essay that was brilliant. Can’t remember if it was on CC or in real life. But the writing was not about pizza, that was a small example of family pulling together in the first days here, just a few initial lines. The greater point was hard work, vision, being honed for challenges, trying/persisting-- and the good that kid was able to do around him. For a kid like that (that awareness and poetic strength, ) it doesn’t matter if he got into the top choice because the bones for a brilliant future are there.
@preppedparent , this student definitely got into her first choice, unless I misunderstood. Given the popularity of pizza at the moment, (wasn’t there a news story about an Alabama girl who got into Yale and wrote about pizza?) I am guessing that next year, pizza will be an over-baked idea. Couldn’t resist the pun.
It’s not wrong to write about the immigrant experience, but I have to say that a lot of the essays I have seen all tend to sound the same. I worked with a lot of immigrant students at a community college. Admittedly some of them didn’t have the best English skills, but they were competent enough to be transferring into four year universities. I read a brilliant essay by a student from the Cape Verde Islands who was attempting to get into an Ivy League school. He wrote about his immigrant experience, but his focus was on how attending that college would enable him to return home and effect positive changes. He referred to specific aspects of the college and managed to convey his personality at the same time. I don’t know if he got in, but he deserved to. It takes a skillful writer to weave all those elements in a way that isn’t boring, and that also accomplishes the goal, which is to show a college who you are.
Just saying. No one should assume that some kid captioned as “wrote about pizza and got into an Ivy” only wrote about pizza, the ooey-gooey, lol. It’s neither a hs writing assignment nor a writing contest.
Agreed, I think the message was that little things and ordinary things in life can convey great meaning. You don’t have to have a large topic for an essay. But I don’t know…I still think the “small thing” has been overdone.
But agree in the end, its all in how the essay is written. It should be interesting and uniquely tell a story no other author can write.