Common Application Essay-- Care to read?

<p>Hey. I have an essay that I wrote as my final paper for english this year that I am thinking of expanding on/working with for my common app essay. I was wondering if anyone could read it and tell me their thoughts and what I can improve on? (Keep in mind, it is a rough rough rough draft of what I am thinking I might submit).</p>

<p>Also, whoever reads it, could you let me know if it falls under the category of either:
1) Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you. </p>

<p>or
2) Topic of my choice.</p>

<p>Don't really know hahah.
Thanks so much! :)</p>

<p>I'll take a look.</p>

<p>Good sir, I will take a gander if I may.</p>