<p>Well, as we have learned, the EFC is just a number that the Federal Govt. uses to determine eligibility for things like Pell Grants. This year many schools are meeting “need” by offering loans. The tricky bit is that they may offer sorta low level amounts to the students but sock it to the parents by offering a lot of Plus loans. </p>
<p>This is happening even at big, endowed schools. </p>
<p>I’m glad mom is willing to kick in serious bucks. The student may need to go for the loans – it is for two years, not four and that is great. </p>
<p>Oddly enough, one path forward may be through the new wife. The student could write a polite, factual letter saying this is MY situation (not mother’s) – that mom is willing to pay $22K and that leaves a gap of $18K that will have to be borrowed and that it is hurtful to be in this position without support from dad. Note that further argument between Dad/Mom does not address the $18K student must borrow. Then politely ask if there is any way you can anticipate any support with this challenge. Give email address and a stamped return envelope (major nudge that you want a written response). </p>
<p>The new wife is not going to want to be the nasty witch (hopefully). If OP sticks with ONLY the college costs as a topic (“Dad, I can’t get into discussion of the divorce with you. I just can’t. I am moving forward and I need help” repeat ad nauseum). Dad may eventually come to the table with a few K. Probably not everything, but every nickel helps (be sure to praise and thank for even a teeny contribution. That is basic dog training. Praise for any movement in the right direction). </p>
<p>I would keep Dad/new wife in the loop. I would. Don’t let them be willfully ignorant of your situation. Make sure they understand how much college costs these days and that working part time as a waitress no longer covers a semester of tuition as it used to.</p>
<p>I think if the “new wife” is brought into the loop then the student can’t claim that there isn’t any contact between student and NCP.</p>
<p>I don’t think Cornell is going to believe that a child of parents that rather recently divorced has no way to contact the NCP.</p>
<p>As for loans…your mom shouldn’t have “the final say” in regards to grandma if it means that YOU must take out large loans. That’s being stubbornly silly.</p>
<p>new wife and i hate each other, and i agree with mom2collegekids in that that would mean some form of contact. even though my parents were officially divorced in 2007, my dad has been living overseas since 2005. i believe he only came to one or two of their many court dates and just had his lawyers take care of things for him so that he wouldn’t have to be here. </p>
<p>mom2collegekids, do you really think that they will find that hard to believe? he spent a lot of his time in turkey from 2003 on, though he would come back for 2 or 3 months of the year and then he started living there full-time in 2005. we really don’t speak/e-mail/talk/anything. what could i do to prove it? i’m having a family friend of 11 years write me a letter and an advisor also.</p>
<p>should i make an in-person appointment with the FA office? would i need my mother to come with me?</p>
<p>OP, didn’t you say that you’ve already submitted your FA app for next year? Has Cornell asked you for your dad’s info or have they granted a waiver? You should check on your FA status before the end of the semester and sit down with a FA person if you have questions about what they will need to process your request.</p>
<p>mom2collegekids - trust me, i have no problem letting grandma take over lol but my mom is stubborn. it’s her mom, so she’s speaking directly with her about it. i think if all else fails, then she will turn to her for help, but right now she wants us to do what we can through cornell</p>
<p>sk8rmom - cornell asks for it, but i submitted a waiver with a statement from my mom and also one from an advisor. so do you think i should ask to speak with them before hearing anything or should i wait? i don’t think i’ll know until june/july.</p>
<p>in other news, i ran cornell’s institutional finaid calculator and that said my efc is 13k and then another 9500 in loans, which actually comes up to about 22k, which would work out really well for me. the rest was grants. i know this isn’t 100% accurate, but from what people were saying on the cornell forums, it’s close! so hopefully, all will work out. i can report back if it’ll help future applicants in the summer</p>
<p>^jg, many divorced moms receive child support via state/county support collections. No contact is needed, the local sheriff serves garnishment of wages to the NCP’s employer as a result of a family court order. Employer remits the withheld wages to a government office, who in turn pays the custodial parent. Very necessary in some cases to protect the custodial parent/kids, not that it necessarily applies to the OP.</p>