<p>My nephew is a very bright individual but an inattentive student and a difficult character. He attends a graduate program at a well-regarded T1 business school at a public university in the Midwest. His father is an alum of their medical school and has been making donations regularly. </p>
<p>The young man is struggling and his parents are worried about his dismissal. I have much greater, though not limitless, financial resources than they. I am considering a low five-digit donation to his college to help him get by, and making a separate four-digit donation in the name of my business to their corporate council.</p>
<p>Questions:
1. Is this a wise course of action - if so, what amount would be adviseable?
2. Should I restrict the donation in some way?
3. Any other advice?</p>
<p>So…paying the school to keep him in, even though he may not be academically qualified to do so? Clearly these things do exist in academia, but they are things that I cannot support when students in the same academic boat but a much smaller financial boat are booted. </p>
<p>Yeah, that amount of money isn’t going to cut it. That’s like, not even a drop in their financial bucket. Sorry. </p>
<p>Also, this is pretty unethical. If your nephew is failing, maybe he doesn’t belong at this allegedly top-tier business school. If he’s an “[in]attentive student and difficult character”, then perhaps college isn’t the right path for him anyway, at least not at the moment. </p>
<p>Lots of things to consider here. Bribery isn’t one of them. Good luck!</p>
<p>Could something be going on with your nephew that you and the parents are not fully aware of? Could he be on drugs? Could the “difficult character” signify an emerging mood disorder such as bipolar? I think I’d put my money toward helping him deal with the reason he’s failing over trying to bribe a school to keep him. </p>
<p>Whatever the reason your nephew is struggling, trying to pay the school to keep him will not help solve his problem and may make it worse by prolonging the time for him to seek help. By graduate school, students should be motivated and capable of pursuing a degree on their own. If he is struggling then it isn’t what he wants or he has an issue - medical, emotional, learning difference, or something that is getting in the way. The resources might be better put to use getting him help or towards another career preparation that suits him better.</p>
<p>When I think of people donating money for the sake of their children/grandchildren/relatives, I think more in the term of millions (for new laboratories, libraries, and so on) – I don’t think, from a financial standpoint, 5 figures would warrant preferential treatment. I also think it is highly unethical (and insulting) to wave money in the face of a well regarded academic institution on the off chance that they might turn their head away from your nephew’s failings. </p>
<p>You could pay his tuition directly, and it would not be considered a gift.</p>
<p>But yeah, that is NOTHING to most universities in terms of dollars. It would be like lighting your cigars with one hundred dollar bills.</p>
<p>Why not instead pay for tutoring or counseling for him? </p>
<p>One thing that really bugs me is all those folks who get paid to say “EVERYONE MUST GO TO COLLEGE OR ELSE!”. That is NOT true.</p>
<p>If he drops out, what will he do? Does he want to own his own business? Maybe your tens of thousands of dollars could go to help HIM, by investing in his business or helping him with bills if he can get an unpaid internship.</p>
<p>“inattentive” - ADD? Diagnosed?
“difficult” - unappreciative, are his parents paying for his school so he doesn’t care if he fails out?
“struggling” - just with school, or with life?</p>
<p>Counseling seems like a good idea. Some schools have free counseling. But perhaps the kind of counseling he needs is to find out what he really wants to do.</p>
<p>Before everyone gets too harsh here, I’ll just note that its good of you to step forward and help your nephew. We have friends with a child at Yale and her uncle is footing the tuition…he has changed her life.</p>
<p>That said, the main thing I’d be worried about with the nephew is that he seems directionless…and (maybe) being protected by family members is not the best thing for him…has there been an opportunity for you to speak with him directly and figure out what is going on here? </p>
<p>I suggest helping the nephew directly with tutoring and psychological counseling. Even if a donation to a school will somehow give a student extra consideration from failing, something I seriously doubt, it takes a while to trickle down. It also does not address the main issue. That he is not getting his work done, and absorbing the material in his studies. Tackle the problems directly.</p>
<p>Yeah, my concern is more that the main problem will not be solved. Will you donate money to his eventual employer to keep him employed, too? If his father is already donating regularly and that is not enough to keep him from getting dismissed, it’s unlikely that a low five-figure donation is going to make the difference.</p>
<p>I agree - you want to diagnose the root of the problem and apply your funding towards fixing that. He could have a disorder or learning disability - but he could also just be a difficult student who doesn’t enjoy school and doesn’t need to be there. Not everyone needs to go to graduate school.</p>
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