<p>By a complete and total mistake that I would rather not get into I was accepted here ED, and am now bound to attend. This school was my father's dream school when he was a kid and it was his greatest wish for me to go here, so obviously when the letter came saying that I was accepted I couldn't tell him that I had no desire to go. So now, here I am, Class of '15 and dreading next fall. The main things that I was looking for when I was looking at schools were an urban campus, diversity of background and thought, and a thriving theater program that I could take on as my minor. Obviously I got none of that here. The idea of joining a fraternity is complete torture to me, and I don't drink, though I think the prospect of my next four years now may drive me to.
Not, that I think that W&L is a bad school in any way. Obviously it is excellent academically, and the vibe and setting are incredible if that is what you are looking for in a college, it just so happens to be, socially speaking, the exact opposite of everything that I wanted out of my school. Please, can someone convince me that I won't be miserable here, if not for four years at least long enough that I can convince my father that I need to transfer.</p>
<p>What a travesty! I am incredulous that you not only applied to a school that meets none of your criteria, you actually apllied binding ED!! Washington and Lee offers an unbelievable undergraduate experience and many, many deserving students are denied an opportunity to attend their dream school because of the incredible selectivity of the Admisissions office. I am offended that you feel the need to be “convinced” that attending W&L would not be a mistake. Rather, if you have such great doubts, you probably have made a large mistake, and you should try to rescind your binding application. If I sound harsh, it is because my daughter was accepted off the waitlist last year and is having the time of her life at her dream school and it blows me away that a spot in the incoming class could be taken by someone who wants all of us to convince him of the inherent greatness of W&L!!!</p>
<p>Fine. I’ll bite. (Although I agree with everything dukewis has said).</p>
<p>I was originally not at all excited to go to W&L. I didn’t get accepted into any of my dream schools, and had only applied to W&L because my father went there, and as a legacy I thought I had a good chance of getting in (apparently, I did). Everything I “knew” about the school turned me off: It was the same size as my high school; it was in a tiny, rural town; all the students were conservative; I was going to be surrounded by these sorority robots and ******y frat boys. I decided to attend because it was the best school of the few I got into.</p>
<p>By the end of the second day of Orientation week, I was in love. The school is BEAUTIFUL. The students are friendly. The parties were fun; I was in a group of friends that were mixed drinkers: some drank, some got wasted, some stuck with water all night. We all had fun. I spent the end of the first night on a bench with a group of about 6 all discussing philosophy and politics in a civilized debate. I wasn’t the only liberal. I wasn’t the only Midwesterner. I wasn’t the only moderate drinker.</p>
<p>A few notes on your fears:
- W&L actually has a pretty good theater department. Although I think it’s changed now, when I was there we didn’t have minors, but I knew a lot of non-theater majors who were in or worked on most of the production. I also knew a lot of theater majors who were double majors in politics, business, or English. It’s not the Yale Drama School, but it’s a lot of fun and a good department. And they ALWAYS need male actors, so you can probably get good roles as a freshman.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You may change your mind about the Greek scene. I did. I suddenly discovered that all the upperclassmen girls I was friends with were in the same sorority. I joined, had a blast and made some amazing friends. Don’t close yourself off to fraternity life. There are 15(ish) fraternities on campus, you may find that one of them fits you perfectly. Even if it doesn’t, you don’t have to drink to have fun at parties.</p></li>
<li><p>About half the people I know went off to college never having taken a drink. Don’t judge, you may find you enjoy it. A lot. (or you may not, but I don’t really know anyone who didn’t drink at all in college, although many waited until they were 21 to start).</p></li>
<li><p>There was a guy my freshman year. He hated parties. He hated people who drank. He hated the fraternity scene. He hated W&L and looked down on everyone who enjoyed it. He ended up staying for 3 years, and hated every minute of it. I wasn’t thrilled about attending, but I opened myself up to the school and had a blast.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>You’re going to go, you don’t have a choice. You might as well TRY to enjoy it instead of deciding that you’ll hate it no matter what. Have you visited, or stayed overnight? That might help. If you visit, see if you can meet with some of the students or professors in the Theater department. Give it a chance, you might surprise yourself.</p>
<p>Perhaps my post was poorly worded. I recognize that W&L is an outstanding school, and I am honored to have been selected to attend. My original intention however was to apply to satisfy my father and never to take away a slot from someone who truly wanted to go and would be satisfied by the experience there. However, my father when reading over my application switched it to ED without my knowledge, because he believed, mistakenly, that I would prefer it that way. There is no possible way he is going to let me get out of this now either. What I really wanted out of this post was to know social aspects and activities of the school that would be enjoyable for the, let’s say, non traditional W&L student.</p>
<p>Thank you beautyistruth.
I have visited it, and I really do plan to put my heart into enjoying the experience. It’s not that I want to dislike the school, I worry that no matter what effort I put into it that the school and I aren’t compatible and I’ll be an outsider the entire time that I am there. What you said about the political climate was comforting and I thank you for your insight.</p>
<p>@thinblueflame- I must change my tone after reading the above. I empathize with your position. While not a student, merely the parent of a W&L student, I would strongly suggest that you give W&L your best shot and go in with an open mind. You will find an amazing group of students and faculty, and have the time of your life! Best of luck!!!</p>
<p>As a parent of W&L nondrinker I will tell you that you will find friends that think the way you do and you can enjoy the parties and concerts. There are kids who do not go Greek. Definitely plan on a pre-orientation trip, it’s a great way to meet people and to do some great community service which is big at W&L. There is actually a whole concentration on poverty and lots of opportunities to get involved. Outdoor activities are big. A one-time fee allows you to check out equipment and go on hiking, rock climbing trips. It may not be your thing, but my child has become very involved in one the large religious groups that offers a lot of activities and studies. The international students seem to be very active although that is not my child’s thing. The arts scene seems good for a school of this size - already received a mailing of concerts and student recitals. As with most colleges, you’ll get out of it what you put in. Again, highly recommend pre-o trip.</p>
<p>The choice of a college is a significant decision. It will impact where you live, career choices, graduate school opportunities and your initial base of “real-world contacts.”</p>
<p>If W&L is your “father’s dream” and something that you “dread” then you have two choices; either tell your father & W&L you need to back out, or learn to live with your decision to attend. Either way - you need to own the decision.</p>
<p>If you chose the first path - W&L will understand. The school only has room for 450 freshman. They are going to fill the class whether or not you attend. They would much rather fill the spot with a kid who is excited about being there. They are not going to do anything to punish you. </p>
<p>If you chose the second path, you will need to find a way to arrive with a positive attitude. If you arrive believing that you will not be happy and that you will not fit in and that you will not like your classmates - it will become self-fulfilling. </p>
<p>If at all possible, spend some time on campus - preferably an overnight in the dorm. That will provide you with a fair litmus test as to whether or not W&L can work for you. If it does not - do something now. It is so much easier to make a change now than to transfer a year from now.</p>
<p>Good Luck</p>
<p>TBF: Once you were accepted ED, did you already notifiy all other schools of your decision? If not, I completely agree with McGin above–spend the night and see what you think. If you can not see yourself at W&L after the night, and other schools are not yet aware of your decision, then talk to your father. He made the “surprise” choice out of love. Although he might not agree with your decision, he wants your happiness. </p>
<p>I feel W&L will release you from ED, but somebody tell me if I am wrong…don’t the schools who select ED notifiy the other schools that are noted on the Common Ap? My point is TBF may not have the same enrollment chances as he once had.</p>
<p>Don’t do it. I think you will be miserable. W&L might’ve been your father’s dream school, but you’re not your father. Go to Swarthmore or Wesleyan or Oberlin, someplace liberal. Go someplace that doesn’t segregate students into fraternities and sororities. Go someplace that has only three Republicans on campus instead of three Democrats. Save yourself! Your father is not the one going to college. You are! </p>
<p>And you’re not stuck for four years. You can always escape through transfer next year.</p>
<p>McGinNC is right. If your reservations are as strong as they appear to be you need to take some immediate action and deal with the situation. Just going along for the ride as a hapless passenger is not a good way to begin the next four years. You still have time to deal with it and maturity demands that you address your sense of impending doom, lest time and money be wasted. </p>
<p>On the other hand, if you do decide to go, congrats! It’s a great place and I think you will be surprised how much broader the W&L experience is versus your initial expectations. </p>
<p>If it helps, I’m also the parent of a non drinking student who started out with a decidedly anti Greek disposition. She was accepted into every school to which she applied, and based on my limited knowledge about W&L at the time – it struck me as the outlier of the bunch – I too wondered what the attraction was. Turns out that it was the people she met. As much as some less familiar might want to define W&L as some kind of socially narrow monolith, the students actually comprise a very dynamic community. Although prevailing stereotypes and tag lines say otherwise, you don’t have to be cut from only a certain kind of cloth to be happy there. In fact, my daughter doesn’t fit the “mold” much at all, but she would debate any critic to the ground in defense of the great experience she’s enjoyed there. I think I would too – her enthusiasm is a bit contagious. </p>
<p>Good luck navigating your way.</p>
<p>Excuse me. How did your father switch the application to ED without you knowing it? Didn’t you have to sign an agreement? Did he forge your signature as well?</p>
<p>ParentalUnit3, I have the same questions. If your Dad forged your signature, or did something fraudulent, you probably do NOT have a binding agreement to attend…How exactly did Dad accomplish this ruse?</p>
<p>Though W&L may be your father’s “dream school”, it appears HE may have already committed an honor violation ! ?</p>
<p>The signature for ED is merely typing your name and the date. it’s super easy to “fake” if that’s what you mean</p>
<p>Early Decision is binding, well not really. If write a sincere letter explaining why you want to go to X university I’m sure any college/university will be sympathetic and not hold you to your side of the agreement.</p>
<p>Why would a college want a student there who doesn’t want to be there? When they have dozens of kids on the waitlist who will gladly attend. Besides after 1 year you could just transfer, which will bring down their retention rate.</p>
<p>Give it a try for 1 semester, 1 year, or whatever you want. You might find out that after all Washington and Lee University is place you want to spend the next 4 years of your life.</p>
<p>Have a look at this:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/04/education/edlife/strategy.html[/url][quote]If”>http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/04/education/edlife/strategy.html
</p>
<p>So, if Dad faked the signature, exercise some grown-up spine and call the school. If W&L let’s you off the hook, either on the basis of your Dad’s fraud or they don’t want a kid who doesn’t want to be there, you win either way. On the other hand, if you sat back and did NOT submit other applications by now, or have no other acceptances, that’s a different situation. But which is it? Time to be assertive if you truly want to be “unbound” by this. Do give W&L time to fill your place. There will be many students delighted to take it regular decision-time.</p>
<p>Nobody has answered the question I asked and there must be Admissions Officers on CC. In fact, one from University of Richmond used to answer all types of questions. Does the school notify other schools of their ED? If so, the regular admission of TBF may have been altered and he might in fact want to try a term or so at W&L. If you can find out that other schools have not been notified and admission chances are the same as prior to an ED decision, then you have to decide whether to speak with your dad or not. I continue to say he meant well when he changed the form.</p>
<p>TBF: Here’s what you wrote in the Early Decision I thread here on 12-22-10:</p>
<p>"Ho yeah</p>
<p>Acceptance! Win forever! "</p>
<p>So, I’m guessing there really isn’t a Dad-Fraud issue here. Instead perhaps you were initially thrilled to be accepted EDI, and you’ve since gotten cold feet? But good luck with whatever your decision is about how to proceed. People have given you excellent advice here.</p>