I’d have nicely said no with no hesitation. Around us and where my parents lived there were rides available for people with health needs. This was pre-Covid, but I would think it’s still happening. She should check to see if anything like that is around her.
@JEM i think that you are perfectly fine in declining and your offer to pay for a ride share is very generous.
If you want to drive her, my suggestion is for you to wear a mask and her to wear a mask and sit in the backseat. With the windows open.
Although I would have done what you did and decline to drive her.
Just no. You have way too many underlying conditions to be that close to someone.
Have to wonder if rideshare / taxi drivers with convertibles will advertise the open air aspect of that…
JEM, I am also one who thought that you could offer a gift to chip in for ride services before I got to the part where you mentioned you did that! It is completely appropriate that you declined to drive yourself, generous to offer help in some way. But don’t assume that her delay in responding shows ill-will of any sort. She could be in terrible pain and distracted with her own issues and waiting for a chance to write a proper, nice note to you. I’m sure we’ve all had times when it took us a few days to get back to someone; I’m sure she’s grateful for your friendship and offer to pay for some rides.
One other thought. If you know some healthy young people who you think are looking to earn some cash and would feel comfortable in a car (front seat/back seat split) with windows open and masks on, it might feel even more personal to say additionally, “I’ve been thinking about it, and as much as I’d love to accompany you to these appointments to keep you company during this tough time, because of my own health issues I have to be super careful about covid these days. However, my niece Jane is just lovely and is available to give rides. Would you be interested in having her help you?” (You could either tell her if she’s interested that Jane charges $15/20/whatever per hour, or you could tell her it’s your treat, no problem, you only regret that you yourself are not able to drive her).
No matter what, no guilt!! And no judgment either…certainly there are people legitimately less anxious about covid who wouldn’t even realize what a big, uncomfortable ask this was! My wise governor is fond of reminding everyone during this crisis to “Be kind” and err on the side of benefit of the doubt, and it’s a good reminder. Sounds like you are a good friend.
THANKS so much, all, for the thoughtful responses! I appreciate each and every one, and will sleep better at night now.
I did get a brief text that my friend did get a ride lined up for the first injection appointment, so that was OK. But that communication was before I went into detail via e-mail about likely not being available to help as chauffeur myself until pandemic concerns were abated. I am hoping she will respond to my offer to help with financing her rides. We do have a senior center that arranges rides to medical appointments (not sure if there is a fee, but I would be happy to cover any fees), and I suggested she look into that as well. Hoping to hear back from her, but want to leave it up to her.
You folks are a great group, such a resource of caring and wisdom. No wonder some of us whose kids are in their thirties still hang around here!
Consider me grateful for you all.
Totally agree, JEM, that you should skip driving her.
What type of mask is considered best now for a non healthcare worker that can be bought on Amazon? The cloth ones I have slide around too much. TIA
Sonovia. You can also buy from their website. Expensive, but worth it. Its suppose to kill the virus with zinc oxide coating, but its lightweight and has adjustable ear or head loops. I wore mine for hours on end and was comfortable enough.
In my area, there are several groups that offer rides for chemo or other medical conditions. One such is Gogodaddy.
I also like the idea of having her MD order at home health care. This is done for dialysis, wound care, so I don’t see why it couldn’t be arranged for injections.
@Jem, You are very generous, but this woman has a daughter. It’s not your responsibility to find a solution for her. When others ask us to do something we aren’t comfortable with and we take on the responsibility of finding alternate solutions the expectation seems to be that if we can’t find an agreeable alternative then it’s our responsibility to take on the job ourselves. Even if it’s not stated or implied we tend to feel guilty if we don’t. Please don’t put yourself in that position. You’ve done what you could. Frankly, with your history you should never have been asked. Your friend’s daughter will figure it out.
And so the two quarantined peeps are back. And currently both of them plus a 3rd are crammed into one cubicle discussing something for the last 5-10 (and still going). Only one is wearing a mask, and that was probably because he was guilted into it after walking by me with mine on. SMH
And I found out that another co-worker who’s been absent the last 2 days also has a sore throat and is awaiting covid test results. So that makes 2 positive, 2 quarantined, and 2 awaiting results (though I feel they have decent odd of being negative) out of an office of 10 people. Yay!
I’m a lawyer and have not had any trials since COVID began, but my SIL was involved in a Texas fed ct trial last week where the judge had insisted they could safely conduct an in person trial. However, they took minimal safety precautions and repeatedly ignored or downplayed reports of family members of jurors or witnesses who were exposed or infected, etc… Long and short of it…5 days of trial resulted in 13 jurors, witnesses, court staff or law firm staff testing positive. They were forced to declare a mistrial. My SIL felt quite bad for a few days but tested negative, but 4 of the 6 person trial team from her firm tested positive.
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Out of curiosity, if someone ended up with really bad effects from this - long hauler, lots of hospital time, or worse, would they likely win a lawsuit against the judge? I hope so, but I don’t know - hence the question.
@Creekland , the Federal Tort Claims Act might apply as a vehicle to bring a claim under those circumstances, though I’ve never seen a claim against a judge for injury arising from his administrative decisions. I certainly would not want to bring it.
@vistajay Understandable not wanting to bring up a suit as a lawyer. It could really affect your job. I still hope there would be repercussions of some sort though. At this point in the pandemic we know how to stay safer. Well, smart people know.
I suspect such a suit has never been presented because it would be rare outside of a pandemic to ever have something like it happen. Administrative decisions normally don’t affect the health of multiple people.
If I or someone I love ever had to be somewhere - required - and got a bad case of Covid due to poor safety measures I’d be trying a lawsuit, even if I had to represent myself. It’s no different than getting hurt by someone texting and driving or other known risks that shouldn’t be happening. Their fault - they should pay for it.
SIL was on a jury recently. Instead of having the jury sit in the jury box, they sat spaced out in the spectator’s seats. No spectators were there. They held deliberations in the same area rather than a cramped jury room after clearing the courtroom. Fortunately it was a short three day trial. SIL is fine.
OMG, @vistajay, just read a Law360 article about that trial. Talk about making national news - not in a good way.
My coworker got called for jury duty. The voir dire is done via Zoom, but the trials are obviously run in person. They were told the courthouse was sanitized, and the jury box was supposed to be socially distanced. Coworker was glad not to be selected.
No surprise, but my (high) school which had been operating on a hybrid model was just told to go all virtual due to increasing numbers in students/staff. It seem to be common in our area for this to be happening.
@BunsenBurner , the judge even let spectators into the courtroom! Just crazy.
Adding to my school’s info, it’s in the kitchen staff as well as the kids. The kids will likely be fine. Time will tell with the staff. Most (all?) are not young.