Culture Shock - Leaving the Northeast, or Coming To It?

<p>leaving the Northeast, and coming to the midwest, west, etc, would most likely be a harder transition because of the warmer climate (I think that would be a definite POSITIVE thing though haha), and well most of the Northeast is really urban and city-like and the midwest and west is much more relaxed, and there isnt ALWAYS something to do, like there is in the northeast... there isn't always a concert every weekend, or a special event, etc. but it's still fun, you know?</p>

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I mean, we are very ethnically and religiously diverse here, but the majority of Californians are so comfortable that they dont ever bother to travel or explore other parts of the country. What I'm trying to say here is that we are not very "geographically" diverse.

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I don't think its comfort, its distance! If you live in NYC then Boston, Philadelphia, and DC are not far away. And you can take a train if you don't feel like driving. In CA there is about 400 miles between the Bay Area and Southern Cal, definitely not a daytrip. And there aren't any other major metropolitan areas in driving distance from either of those.</p>

<p>also, it would be much harder for a person from the midwest to transition to the east than vice-versa. northeasterners are generally elitist and regard all of middle america as being filled with bumbling, slow-witted hicks, whereas most midwesterners are still impressed on some level by the whole east coast thing. the cynical thing i have to laugh at; yeah, people don't like being insulted to their face. imagine that.</p>

<p>if you can't stick it out in a different part of your own country as an 18+ year-old adult, you are mentally weak.</p>

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whereas most midwesterners are still impressed on some level by the whole east coast thing

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I don't get that impression at all. Perhaps I've no idea what you are referring to as the "East Coast thing," but from what I can gather, east coast culture does not seem all that inviting or impressive.</p>

<p>I am a Midwesterner (Kansas City). My daughter left for the East Coast to attend a college this fall. She loves it. By all accounts she has fit in just fine. Good grades, new friends, and has stayed healthy. She does say that people are surprised that she is from a state like Kansas. They figure her for a California girl. She always wanted to attend a school in the NE and in an urban area. She also likes the museums, diversity and culture. I think this depends on the kid and maybe the fit of the school. That is something to remember. Encourage your student to find a school that fits. Many of her friends went away to college in the Midwest and are now back at the KU. They are all smart enough but maybe wanting that close to home feel. It is hard to go recreate your whole life anew. I miss her everyday because she is a joy to have around but I'm also very proud of her success.</p>

<p>From Post #200: "My Portland, Oregon son went to Drew in NJ and came back within a week."</p>

<p>There's East Coast and then there's NORTHEAST; there's Northeast and then there is NEW JERSEY.</p>

<p>I'd lived in the Chicago and Detroit areas as a kid, but when I was 16 my family moved to a rough blue-collar suburb of Boston. Holy crap! People in class laughed at me every time I said something with my Midwestern twang. I never did get used to the accents. But they were at least tolerable, eventually. I went to a tiny 2-year college in Mass, and when I talked to a counselor about transferring, I mentioned Rutgers. The counselor shifted uneasily in his chair and said something like, "Well, you know, New Jersey is the most densely populated state, and it's sort of different down there." What he meant to say was that folks from New Jersey are the real problem with the Northeast (closely followed by downstate New Yorkers, then a big gap, then New Englanders).</p>

<p>I've lived all over the world, and have gone to college all over the country and the world, and it's clear to me that the NJ/downstateNY crew is the one that gives the Northeast a bad name. Folks from Buffalo, Pittsburgh, and Vermont are all Northeasterners, but they tend to fit right in without making a big splash. It's the obnoxious NJ/downstateNY bunch that infests every decent college in the US (and the closer you get to the Northeast, the higher %) that is intolerable to be around.</p>

<p>TourGuide- how enlightened! I grew up in the northeast and am not a fan, but to say the things you said in your post is absurd. Have you been to Blairstown? There are many areas of NJ that are beautiful and where the people are as nice as can be. The whole state isn't Camden and Newark. And Camden and Newark have their share of wonderful, kind people, too. Yes, NJ gets a bad rap and the pace can be fast and the people a little abrupt, but please skip the nasty over-broad condemnation.</p>

<p>Had an interesting conversation on this topic with an older associate. Their take was that after seeing many kids go from SoCal to the Ivies and other eastern schools most invariably came home miserable from the experience. It was this associates observation in talking to the returning SoCal kids that they were virtually 'shut out' by their eastern counterparts who wanted nothing to do with a kid from California. Wouldn't ask them home for Thanksgiving, didn't ask them home on weekends, basically made the west coast kids feel isolated and undesirable. Any thoughts to that observation?</p>

<p>I agree with MomofWildChild
what about NJ/NY do you find "obnoxious" or "intolerable?" Sure, there will be some obnoxious people everywhere you go--maybe there are more of them in these areas (though NJ has a LOT of variation and you can't judge it by only visiting a couple of places or whatever)
Millions of people move to these areas of the country from other states and countries and love it.
Just because you don't doesn't make them the "problem"
who said there was a problem anyway?
maybe the problem is the rest of the country =P hahaha. couldn't resist.</p>

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<p>My SoCal born and raised daughter is in her senior at an Ivy, and her experience has been just the opposite. She loves it there and has been very well treated by her east coast friends and roommates. She has been invited to Thanksgiving with friends in Boston, New York City, and Connecticut. And her very best friend is the one from New York. This spring break she is going to show all them California.</p>

<p>I was a bit suspicious of the observation myself...I know if the situation was reversed here on the west coast we would be more than happy to have an out-of-towner come share the weekend with us!</p>

<p>Is it common for college kids to come home early, before even finishing the school year? if so, is this a new trend? I don't recall hearing about students coming home before, as much as I've heard of it this year.
Thanks!</p>

<p>Kellid, where we are the kids are coming home before the year is out. They can't seem to bear being a couple of states away from Mom and Dad. Can't help thinking it has to do with the whole "delayed adolescence" that I keep reading about. I thought the point of college was to go out, have new experiences, meet new people and start to make your way in life, but apparently these kids all talk about "comfort zones". Very different.</p>

<p>Love the Jersey bashing as I'm originally from there. When in college in Mass. I got a TON of it from the New Englanders. So be it. New Jersey has alot of attributes if you take the time to get off the highway!</p>

<p>Among the important reasons students go away to school is to begin to learn to be self-sufficient and to try new things. It doesn't matter how far they go; some do well and some have a hard time. Some learn eventually and some come back home. Most find happiness somewhere. I don't think it's fair to pin one's reactions on a region or on its people as a broad generalization. There are wonderful people everywhere and there are awful people everywhere. I would venture to say that even in Southern California there are some nasty folks! I live in Brooklyn. Many people's first impression of that is probably a shudder. But NYC is a wonderful, vibrant, SAFE!!, exciting town. Sure there are some bad parts, and they are on the news all the time. And Long Island can be boring-- I grew up there. But there are beautiful places and people everywhere. The key is to be flexible and to look for what you want. Chances are you can find it. I suppose the only thing would be climate and weather which is pretty inflexible. But you should know that before you applied to school in New England, that it is very cold and snows a lot there. If that is what you want, fine. If not, also fine. If you don't like cold weather and go to school in a place that has a real winter, don't get angry at the discomfort! It's part of the territory. Buy a jacket, glove, hat, scarf, boots, and get on with it. Northeasterners (up, down, east west) are like people everywhere. Some are wonderful, some are not. It's just people.</p>

<p>"This is the silliest thread I have ever read."</p>

<p>Au contraire. This is the most interesting thread I've seen here since the discussion of blue state college applicants talking about punishing the red states by not applying after the election of George Bush.</p>

<p>JAMUNREAL> i believe it would be more difficult for a southerner to adjust to all the *******s up north than someone from the northeast coming to the south </p>

<p>It's a shame that my comments about regional prejudices were illustrated so rapidly.</p>

<p>Yes, there are some vile people here. And lots of good ones.</p>

<p>JAMUNREAL, you should know that my friend from Georgia is now a respected senior manager in an enormous local company, and has settled down with a woman whose family has been here forever. He and I shake our heads over the occasional beer, savoring the friendship, and wondering how it came to pass that a Bostonian and a man from rural Georgia should happen to make their homes in the middle of NJ. But then we came here with open minds, and manners.</p>

<p>Mom and Alamode, I will admit there are a few southern New Jersey towns I might have missed. And the problem certainly isn't Camden and Newark (few of the college students I ran into at the many colleges I went to were from Camden or Newark). You know whom I'm talking about, and so does everybody else who's attended a decent school in the USA...it's the well-off suburban New Jerseyites. I've even seen posts on collegeconfidential mentioning that that even the relatively small % of them who are at Duke are raising the obnoxiousness level. </p>

<p>Specifics? How about every other sentence contains a reference to how NYC (not even in their state) is Heaven on Earth, while wherever you are is hicksville? How about their unshakable belief that they know how to act in every situation and everybody else who is not loud and pushy is a moron? How about the whole world revolves around them (I recall in the post re Duke, a parent mentioned how he was in a group getting a campus tour from a student from NJ, and she stopped the tour for a few minutes while she chatted with a friend who was passing by)? I don't know if I ran into a bad sample, but the NJ guys I knew as an undergrad in Boston had the most horrendous hygeine I've ever seen from anybody anywhere (one guy picked his nose constantly and another guy never washed his hands--even after going to the bathroom or scratching his bare feet).</p>

<p>In other words, I stand behind my comments in post #206. There IS a reason out-of-staters aren't clammoring to get in Rutgers.</p>

<p>dke-thank you for your response. My dasughter is a sophomore in high school, and is looking at colleges in other places than our state, and while I have been excited, it made me start to wonder, why are all of these kids coming home so soon? I totally agree with you that kids are supposed to go to college to start to be independent adults who will be able to take care of themselves, and if this continues, parents rescuing their now adult children, I think it is a huge mistake. I think a little discomfort is a growth experience. No one wants to see their child hurt, or miserable, but college is a time to cut some strings.</p>

<p>Exactly, Kellid. Another thing we're noticing is that the high school kids won't go to a college if they don't have a friend coming along. It never occurred to me to go to college WITH anybody. (come to think of it , there were two girls in my graduating class who went to a midwestern LAC together and people just assumed they were gay....which they weren't, but it was that unusual!)</p>