“I fixed that phone like a gosh-dang boss, dagnabbit!”
“Holy Canoly, Batman, I just fixed a phone!”
“I fixed that phone like a heart surgeon. It was intense, man!”
Regarding the use of the word “badass” - the essay should show, not tell. The reader should come away with the feeling that the writer is a badass (whatever she means by that) without the writer having to say it.
I’m also wondering what the student is trying to say about white kids from Westchester. Are white kids not generally able to concentrate for 15 hours or not technical enough to fix an iphone? Are people of a non-white race more likely to be badass? Is this cultural appropriation? I don’t really get what she is trying to do, probably because I haven’t seen the essay.
Show, don’t tell. And if in doubt, pick another word.
@redpoodles I do agree, @MotherOfDragons provided a wonderful example.
@OMPursuit love it!
@GnocchiB , great advice. as for the speculation on what she’s trying to say, you’re overthinking it, it’s just a funny line she tossed into the essay, no one would be insulted by her use of the term badass, other than it’s probably not an appropriate term for a college essay.
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Ok. If it’s written well, maybe badass is fine. Sorry about this, but make sure fixing her own phone is relevant. Implying it’s so unusual a white gal from Westchester could fix her phone- and have some sort of revelation from it- is what I might wonder about. Unless it’s a jumping off point for all sorts of tinkering and she’s thinking STEM.
thanks for all the replies, in the end, it was of course an easy change and lowered the risk of offending anyone.