D slept on an air mattress on the floor (I think) borrowed from someone. I guess she was supposed to know to bring a sleeping bag, but we didn’t know. It was no big deal and the girls put together a pillow and blanket.
And yes, be prepared for them to be at a party with all that a college party entails. My daughter was 16 and while she was okay with the alcohol, she wasn’t so thrilled with being hit on by several of the women at the party.
Thanks everyone for all the insight! Also, thanks finalthree for adding, helpful
Info as well.
One other question - how much of the question/answer process do you as the parent get involved in?
I let daughter handle all sports questions (practice, schedule, defenses, zones, double teams). I did all financial matters at her request. There just came a point where she felt overwhelmed with the costs. I was overwhelmed too, but we both couldn’t ignore the money part.
Vikingd, while the coach certainly wants the kid to be the focus, the coach typically wants the parent there for a reason. I have heard a lot of reasons given for this, but the most likely is to assess the parent’s interest in and sell the parent on the school. Coaches realize that a parents can nix applying to a school. So ask whatever you think you should to ensure that you are sold on the school.
It is hard for a kid to ask whether recruits get cut. If your D doesn’t, then you should. I should add that a number of coaches told us up front without asking their policies on cutting recruits (e.g. the best 19 are on the team or you get a free pass the first year), so I don’t think it is a subject that should be avoided. If you go back through these threads you will find posts about recruited athletes that were cut. Most of them did not know that was possible. Again, this may not change your view of the school. But you probably should ask if your D does not.
Our son handled virtually all of the recruiting contact, excepting the financial stuff, which I handled. I did sit in on a number of meetings between a head coach and my son. Sometimes the coach would try to include me in the conversation, other times they talked mostly to my son. I generally tried to follow the lead of the coach, but kept
my comments to generalities,
excepting in one meeting where the coach recruiting my son happened to have been my position coach in college. In that meeting I just sat there and hoped he wouldn’t yell at me, lol.
Great, thanks again everybody!
So am I correct in assuming that parents attend OVs as well (at their own expense)? My daughter seems to feel that this is her show and we shouldn’t be there at all. However since there are financial concerns about which she has limited understanding, I feel more comfortable attending as well
My daughter wasn’t mature enough to evaluate the schools, finances, teams, academic programs alone. I think some kids are, but mine wasn’t. I don’t know if I would have let her pick a school I’d never visited at all. Probably, but she didn’t so that’s moot.
One school we flew to (D3, so I paid) and she stayed at the school and I stayed in a hotel. The coach didn’t include me in anything, and didn’t even talk to me. My daughter asked me to go on the public tour with her and I did. At another school, there were 5 recruits there that weekend and we stayed in a hotel paid for by the school. We drove, so I don’t know if the school paid for the travel for the others.
I don’t think you have to go, but if you do have questions about the school, are you going to want to visit again?
I don’t think the parent should expect to participate in the OV itself. I always made myself scarce, except to drop off or pick up, which are opportune times for the parent to meet with the coach.
I was planning on going on the school tour with her and then parting ways. I also plan to watch the game though of course not sit with her as I assume she will be near or on the team bench.
I went, and the only contact we had with Coach during the entire weekend was during our 1:1 walking tour of campus (by our choice). My daughter drove the conversation, but she had memorized a series of questions to ask Coach. Only time we spoke was to confirm financial aid process and ask about working during the school year. My daughter had a blanket and a pillow, and was lucky enough to find an extra mattress that her hosts pulled into their dorm room. My husband and I just walked around town, went into the bookstore, did some touristy stuff - we let her be, and we stayed at a local hotel. I compiled a great list of questions to ask a coach during a visit for our club team - if anyone wants it on PDF, drop me a note.
post deleted
Please post the list of questions. Thanks.