Dance teacher seems indifferent. What to do?

<p>I got accepted into Joffrey Ballet School's Jazz and Contemporary Summer Intensive and was very excited. I didn't tell my dance teacher that I was auditioning incase I didn't get in and I just told her yesterday that I got in and she said 'oh that's cool.' Not the response I was looking for. I told my other dance teacher, who is a lot nicer and supportive of us that I was auditioning, but not that I got in. So, anyway besides being upset with her response as a high school junior who wants to major in dance I am concerned about the application process for next year and her not wanting or not being able to help me. My friend when auditioning asked her for help with her solo and she said choreograph something then I'll look at it which I totally understand, but I heard from her that she did not really help her. I'm someone who works really hard and likes to be well prepared, what do you think I should do? I'm kind of nervous about everything. Any tips or advice on talking to my teacher?
Side note: My dance teacher who is more indifferent is the studio owner and I've been going there my whole life, but she can often be very mean and critical. She barely gives advice on how to improve and just expects us to have crazy skills instantly without any teaching or guidance.I understand that she has to be tough on us, but there's a way to talk to students especially those who pay so much money. The other teacher teaches at other studios so she isn't always there, but is nice and supportive of us. She's very knowledgeable, demonstrates, and helps us a lot. If I asked her to help me it could be difficult because she's not always around and I don't want to make it look like I'm going behind the owners back.</p>

<p>Congratulations on getting into Joffrey! That is very exciting! I am sure you will have a great experience.</p>

<p>I understand your loyalty to your teacher/studio owner since you have been dancing there your whole life, but you should remember that you are the customer, and if she is not giving you or is not capable of giving you what you need to prepare for college auditions, you should not hesitate to go to someone who can help you. If she basically tells you to do-it-yourself for college auditions, then I would talk to your supportive teacher, explain the situation, and see if she can recommend a choreographer for you and just go to their studio to do it. Feeling like you are giving it your best shot to get into a good college dance program is more important than maybe hurting the feelings of one person who is not being particularly helpful. Just my two cents - others may feel differently. Best of luck to you!</p>

<p>Something similar happened to my daughter when she was a senior in high school. She had been going to the same studio since she was a small child, but started branching out and taking classes in NYC her junior and senior years, in addition to her regular classes at the studio. At the end of the year, the director of the studio was very unsupportive, rude, and down right cruel to my daughter. I think it may have been jealousy? My daughter is now having a very successful college experience, but no thanks to the director of the studio. She does stay in touch with some of her favorite teachers though. It’s always good to form and keep a network.</p>

<p>Back to your original question, feel free to work with another dance professional out side of the studio. This is your future on the line. Be respectful towards your studio director, but you don’t owe her anything.</p>

<p>Thank you for responding! I don’t really care about hurting her feelings, I just don’t want it to seem as if I asked the other teacher because I didn’t like what she said and was defying her especially in my senior year. I also think that my teacher doesn’t know about outside dance opportunities and that she wants us to spend money doing her summer classes. When I had a rehearsal for a duet she was nice and encouraging, but as the rehearsal went on and we were doing larger group numbers she got angrier and moodier ( like her usual self) weird right? Additionally, I am not sure how I would find an outside choreographer and if they would be able to choreograph my strengths because they don’t know me as a dancer. Any tips or information regarding that?</p>

<p>Congratulations on Joffrey- that is fantastic! You have received great advice and I concur. I have very often seen dance teachers (often studio owners) begin to pull away from their juniors/seniors. I think some of it is unconscious jealousy/envy, perhaps for what they missed (or didn’t have the talent, nerve, money, etc;) to do and some of it is sI liar to what parents and teenagers go through as they try to prepare themselves emotionally for that upcoming separation. Some dance teachers resent the fact their students, who have been devoted to their studio 24/7 are branching out and their energies are divided elsewhere. In any event, you cannot control her/his emotions. Do remain respectful, diligent and responsible but seek a choreographer you admire and can rely on. You will be too busy in the fall to have to stay after someone to complete their work for you. Start thinking about the kind of college program you will be applying to and research the differences between a conservatory-style program, and the whole BFA vs BA piece of the decision and then you will have some advance insight into what you kind of letters of recommendation you will need- artistic vs academic or both, as well as what they will be looking for in your audition, etc. This gives you time to think about who you will ask or what newer relationships you should develop or enhance. Pay attention to the rest of your “application package” as we’ll- grades, extra-curricular, volunteer work, etc. colleges will evaluate you on your audition primarily and I know many students who did not submit LOR from their dance or theatre teachers because those individuals were not reliable or really all that qualified… You would not be unusual if that happened so don’ t worry. Work on your piece and the rest of what you can control. Have a fabulous time this summer! Great to have on your r</p>

<p>This seems to be a common problem with dance teachers. Rather than be happy and proud of their students’ accomplishments, they often seem resentful and put out that they are seeking training elsewhere–even if it’s “just” a summer intensive and they will be back at the studio in the fall.</p>

<p>Of course, once the student goes on to success as a dancer in college for a company, they always step up and take all the credit for making him or her the best possible dancer he/she can be. :)</p>

<p>@lightingmom I’ve done extensive research, on college websites, here and other forums. I kind of have a mix of everything and I definitely need to look back over it all with a fine tooth comb in terms of what I want. It’s hard to decide what I want in a school or in my future with dance because I don’t have much guidance because my Mom doesn’t know much about dance, but is always helpful and supportive. She’s very concerned about life after college if I will be able to support myself financially and with me having a stable job. My academics and ECs are on point for the schools I have on my list so, it’s not much of a concern for me. As far as artistic LORs I think I will either ask my nicer teacher or both depending on how things go with Joffrey and if I would feel comfortable asking one of the instructors for one.
@sally my teacher would definitely take the credit for making me who I am. She’s very moody, bipolar, hypocritical. Very frustrating, but I have a feeling she will want or need or I will want or need her help in the future so, I have to continue to be nice to her.</p>

<p>After talking with my Mom about it more, I think I will ask my nicer/better teacher for some help choreographing my solo(s) for the auditions because I really do enjoy choreographing, but I often get stuck and obviously need some professional guidance. My Mom gets very annoyed with the way the owner treats my sister and I and knows how she can be. If anyone has any further advice, opinions, please let me know! I need all the help I can get.</p>

<p>

Yes, that’s an unfortunate but common reaction. Fwiw, JDancer, there seems to be no shortage of moody, bipolar, hypocritical dance teachers in private studios. As you progress in your training, you’ll almost certainly find a more professional, objective atmosphere. So glad you have a more positive teacher as well to mentor you.

Dear God - it’s not Abby Lee, I hope!</p>

<p>@Frazzled1 my dance teacher reminds me of Abby Lee sometimes! A lot of the time she’ll be like do this and then if someone doesn’t do it the way she described we’ll have to do it until someone does it the way she likes unless she gets annoyed and decides to actually demonstrate which is rare. When choreographing she’ll say do that move/trick you did with the other teacher. That’s why I’m leaning towards a career in choreography and pedagogy because I want future dancers to have a more positive experience and be better.</p>

<p>Add me to the list. After years of being extremely close to her DT/SO my daughter was treated terribly by her in her last two years of HS. Like a lot of the above posters I believe it was due to jealousy because she basically went from HS to teaching to owning her own studio (all kind of default) and pursued a professional career. </p>

<p>JDancer, you express an interest in being a dance teacher yourself one day? Have you expressed this to your teacher? She could be threatened by this. I know in my DD’s case that seemed to be a big part of the whole issue. The DT/SO is and continues to be paranoid that my DD will roll into town and open up a studio and steal her students (oddly, she had done the same to her former mentor). </p>

<p>Definitely go to Joffrey J&C if you can. It sounds like you can use some time out of this environment to grow dance wise before you start college auditions.</p>

<p>@MomOf3Stars I have not expressed this to my teacher, she doesn’t even know I want to pursue dance. I’m going to tell her soon obviously when asking her for help, but I don’t think she would be threatened for she has established herself pretty well. Even though she’s totally mean to some students compared to other studios her prices are reasonable and many don’t tend to leave quickly.</p>

<p>Congratulations on your acceptance into Joffery! But I disagree with a lot of these comments. Dance teachers WORK VERY HARD, to come up with lessons, combinations and curriculum so students like you CAN get into Joffery, and she’s probably indifferent because 1) YOU and everyone else act like she didn’t help you at all, and 2) she might actually miss you. I have found today’s generation of young people do feel like everyone is supposed to encourage them, "work for’ them and create pathways for them to have every opportunity. And dance teachers do, however getting you, into Joffery is a big deal! For her personally, for the studio as well as for you. Yes, I tell my students to go elsewhere, get information and training from other studios and Master classes, and some I regard as clients and some I’m quietly in awe of and very proud of. Its unfortunate that students like you and your parents watch ridiculous shows like Dance Moms because that’s nothing like the real world. We teach dance not because we couldn’t make it ourselves. We start out loving it, and our students while the business end of the dance world is really hard. We count on certain students to shine and do well and we think its a give and take relationship. Apparently, its just a take. </p>

<p>Congratulations from me too! Do bear in mind that in every and any discipline that there are teachers who do not wish to get involved in certain aspects of their students’ lives and aspirations. A phenomenal instructor, a nurturing teaching, may not want to deal with the audition process or anything beyond a set list of things that s/he will do. You may have to get someone else to be your “coach” for any audition opportunities. There are people in just about every field that does just that, and the successful ones are aware of nuances as well as requirement to get into programs and troupes. That’s the case for not just dance, but any number of things. Find someone who specializes in what you want and work with that person. </p>

<p>This thread is from May/ April of 2013. JDancer would likely be a college freshman by now.</p>

<p>@KatMT yes I am! Thank you though, I’m enjoying college and being a dance major even though it’s crazy difficult</p>