Daughter with High Hopes and Dreams

Parents Forum
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<p>Somewhere might be a 3 hour flight, but add 2 hours for TSA. And getting to/from the airport on both ends. </p>

<p>If the only school you know is UCB, get thee to a bookstore or library for a copy of Fiske or Princeton review. It will help.</p>

<p>My comment about August is that, once school starts, you lose so much time flexibility. We first visited some of D1’s semi-finalists in fall of sr year (and she interviewed then) - but they were legit semi-finalists at that stage.</p>

<p>You can make a longer trip to S. Cal or NYC, to check out other schools- but, for us, by exploring locals (or driveables,) she got a sense of more of the variables that she wanted, what would work for her, and where she could happliy compromise. That helped us narrow down the schools we’d see on longer trips. </p>

<p>How to talk to her: at first, DH was a cannon, I have to say. We settled on something along these lines:</p>

<p>In the end, when the letters come in, the decision is yours. [She liked that control.] But for now, we don’t know what those choices will be, who will accept you. [Satisfied our need to inject some reality.] So, let’s come up with a broad, wise list, where you can be happy and productive. </p>

<p>I can remember times on these local or driveable visits, when I could almost see the lightbulb go on over her head. She didn’t end up applying to these look-sees, but they impacted her sense, in the end, of what mattered- more than location.</p>

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<p>^^ It’s true that the 3 hour flight entails somewhere closer to a 6 or 7 hour journey but still, it’s doable and not terribly difficult. It’s less time than driving from San Diego to San Francisco.</p>

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<p>When we were looking a couple of years ago, Lewis and Clark in Portland, Oregon, was very popular. [Welcome</a> to Lewis & Clark in Beautiful Portland, Oregon](<a href=“http://www.lclark.edu/]Welcome”>http://www.lclark.edu/)</p>

<p>p.s. there is a law school at Lewis and Clark as well</p>

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<p>However, if she finds Seattle to be a backwater, she is unlikely to be much happier with Portland and certainly not any WUE schools that are in still more provincial locations.</p>

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<p>cluelessinsea:</p>

<p>My D has a close friend who too wanted to go to NY. Her GPA didn’t really qualify her for NYU (her dream) but she did get accepted at Pace University with a fairly generous merit award. I don’t know much about Pace but it is in NYC so my D’s friend was very excited about going there. That was until the reality of the cost set in as even with merit aid it was out of her parent’s range. </p>

<p>Her GPA was around 3.3 or 3.4 UW and she had 1800+ on her SATs. She was turned down by NYU and Chapman, waitlisted by Pepperdine and UCSB and accepted by Pace with a merit award. In the end she decided to go to our local CSU. </p>

<p>If money isn’t a problem I think there are a world of possibilities out there for your D. </p>

<p>Speaking of distance, my D is going to a college that is about an hour’s drive from our house. That was her choice not ours. Of course when I say an hour that is not considering LA traffic so some days that drive could be several hours. That point was she too wanted to be close, but not too close. She will take her car to college. </p>

<p>The other night she announced to us that she plans to visit us once a month. She said it as if she had given it careful thought and was wanting to assure her dad and me that she didn’t want our lives to end now that she was gone. We both laughed and said she was under no obligation to visit us at all unless she needed to. I did tell her if she ends up with a roommate from another state (or country) and either one of them is homesick they are always welcome. I will miss her of course and would love for her to visit often but what I want more than anything is that she has a great college experience and doesn’t want to leave. The ‘old folks’ will manage without her somehow… :)</p>

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<p>I am just loving the fact that some of you have daughters/sons that were thinking along the same lines (big city, as far away as possible), and that they changed their minds once the reality set in.
I am hoping thats the case with her… Because, as others have said, California might be a 3 hour flight but with security and all that- its not as quick and easy to get home as it might seem.
Portland- and all of Oregon- is a no go for her (personal choice). We have family there and she has spent many a weekend,summers, etc down there… She also has family down in California (her dad is Hispanic, family from LA), and another reason why I would be a little more comfortable with her there than on the East Coast… Lots of family for her to reach out to there.</p>

<p>Here is to compromise and finding out what works. You are all giving me great information and will help me when we have our mother/daughter conversations while visiting driveable schools!! :)</p>

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<p><<the ‘old="" folks’="" will="" manage="" without="" her="" somehow…="">></the></p>

<p>Ahnelk: LOL! That is very sweet of your daughter.
My husband and I can hardly imagine what it will be like when last kid (S) goes off to college this fall. We will probably drop him off, come home for a hike, relax with a beer, marvel at how the laundry is NOT piling up, I’ll read a magazine during a long bath…We’ll survive SOMEHOW. :)</p>

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<p>Our D was surprised & amused when we told her that after her graduation, she could join either H in Boston, where he’ll be for a business trip or me in LA, where I’ll be for a business trip. She’s trying to decide where she’d like to visit. I have a trip to Atlanta in October she could also join me at, so will see how that works out.</p>

<p>Many, many kids originally think they might like far away but then when they think some more & SEE some of the accouterments or campuses, re-think. Our D found NYC very “smelly,” which urban areas can indeed be. S was taken aback at how rural Rochester schools were, as well as the snow fences and snow poles. He then decided that he is more of a warm weather urban kid & ended up at USC. There are a TON of great schools in the LA area; your D needs to look around at some of them, especially some that might be less selective about test scores. </p>

<p>USC & UCLA are tough even for top scholars to get into; Chapman, Pepperdine, Loyola Marymount, Occidental are very good schools that are slightly less selective, but still expect higher test scores.</p>

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<p>Clueless…my D is also a rising senior. We have been visiting schools for the last couple months. Earlier this year D was convinced it was for her. After visiting schools with a traditional campus and college towns- D fell out of love with the idea of NYC. We just got back from a family vacation in NYC and D confirmed that it is a place she would love to move to as a working adult, but that it is not the college experience she wants. </p>

<p>IMO this is a time of self discovery for kids. The schools you visit now the more your D will learn about what she wants out of the experience. D is going through this now. Each visit exposes another nugget about her. </p>

<p>Personally, I would try to ground her a bit. You can do that by having her research the admissions stats for the schools she is interested in. You are not saying you are not good enough but Are your stats high enough for admissions. I have told my D that her stats were low for some of her initial schools. I didn’t say no, I just stated it matter of fact. Hey, college X’s typical student has a 4.0 GPA, and 2300 SAT. Stick to the facts and you shouldn’t hurt feelings.</p>

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<p>You can do that by having her research the admissions stats for the schools she is interested in. You are not saying you are not good enough but Are your stats high enough for admissions. I have told my D that her stats were low for some of her initial schools. I didn’t say no, I just stated it matter of fact. Hey, college X’s typical student has a 4.0 GPA, and 2300 SAT. Stick to the facts and you shouldn’t hurt feelings. </p>

<p>I like the suggestion… We have been looking at schools, but not a ton of research on what stats are required- or typical of each school. This will be fun and we can use the spreadsheet suggestion that another parent mentioned. I know that some kids get in without those typical scores, but I do not want her disappointed or lose focus if she doesnt get into the right school. thank you!!!</p>

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<p>I haven’t read the whole thread, but I’d suggest taking a second look at UW. I know she said she doesn’t like Seattle, but there are also satellite campuses, and she might like one of those better. Or she might end up liking UW Seattle after researching it more. UW was my safety and I didn’t consider it seriously until I was writing the “Why UW honors?” essay for the honors college. The essay forced me to really research UW, and I found out that it actually had a lot of the things that I loved about my reaches. Then, when I visited UW this spring, I loved it and chose it over USC. So I’m going to UW this fall. :)</p>

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<p>Our juniors are almost the opposite, when we first started talking schools they wanted to stay pretty close to home, 2-4 hours, max. One of the first visits we did was about 5 hours away, well, that wasn’t so bad, then did another one 8 hours away, kind of long, but liked the school so ok, then got some information from a school under an hour away and nope, that’s too close now. Now they are pretty much looking everywhere and anywhere. They’ve ruled out the east-coast for many good reasons. Current schools are 5, 8, and 17 hour drives. Once they figured out that there were things called airplanes, they were more willing to expand their searches :D.</p>

<p>My niece is convinced she is going “out east” and won’t even talk about any other schools (sophomore). I think they are planning to DRIVE out east, about 20+ hours depending on where they go. My guess is that will change her mind because they won’t be able to afford school and fights and she will probably only get to go home at Christmas if she does go that far away.</p>

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<p>The UW satellite campuses are (and I am a local) not in the most desirable locations. They get the job done, but anyone who things Seattle is small potatoes does not want to go to school in Bothell. She has decent in-state options and needs to find her dream matches and a reach or 2.</p>

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<p>Congrats aopsgirl!!! What an exciting time to be able to choose between those 2 schools!!!
I could only hope that she would choose UW. She does have it down on her list- and she has visited already. She really does like the campus and my husband told her “you’re only as close as you want to be”… which is so true. As another parent said on here, us old folks will get on just fine! :slight_smile:
I think UW might be a bit of a reach for her, based on her psat score. But we do have several kids from her high school that have gone there in the last few years. So, I think she may apply but we’re not really sure on her chances. Thank you so much and I wish you all the luck next fall!!!</p>

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<p>Well, mine stuck to her guns once the reality set in. She’s really doing it: leaving cold, dark, boring New England (her words) for Los Angeles.</p>

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<p>Clueless, not sure when your D is taking the SAT, but my D did horribly on the PSAT and now has a respectable SAT score. Her scores were very different.</p>

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<p>My kids chose to leave boring, perfect-70 degree-weather-all-the-time Southern California for New England…kids!</p>

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<p>That is too funny Snowdog and ellemenope… I guess its a case of “the grass is always greener”. I have a feeling she’s going to stick to her guns as well. But, I am hoping to give her some other options. She really is a great kid and I know that she’s going to succeed where ever she ends up.<br>
You have all given me such great advice and ideas-- I want to thank you all… And tell ya to keep it coming!! Its making for great conversataions around the house!!</p>

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<p>One other thing–admissions can be pretty surprising. We honestly didn’t think D had very good odds of being accepted at her dream school. She had pretty bad grades in HS due to health-related absences & had to leave her private HS after JR year. She got her GED & started CC in what would have been her SR year. She defied the HS GC & applied after only 1 semester of CC to transfer to USC–it was her ONLY application. To her & our shock, USC accepted her for admission, provided she start in January (after 3 semesters of CC). We were pleasantly surprised & nearly all her credits did transfer.</p>

<p>Must admit, USC & many of the other privates & OOS state Us & colleges can get pretty expensive, especially if you’re full pay & don’t qualify for merit or FAid, so please help your D choose carefully. Be sure she has at least 2 Us that she’s VERY likely to be admitted, your family could comfortably afford with NO help, and that she LOVES (I know, a tall order, but it saves a LOT of grief later–must find these safeties that she loves–there are over 3000 Us out there).</p>

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<p>Just an idea, but in the UK, you can get a law degree in undergrad school (three years), which would save time and money over the 7year US route. If she has a “big personality” she could handle it over here.</p>