<p>Thank you all for your comments, it does help to vent sometimes. I did encourage her to tell the professor immediately and apologize to her partner. This is her problem and she will have to solve it and take the consequences of her actions, ouch.</p>
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<p>She needs to talk to the Prof concerned and hope he/she’s in a very generous mood. </p>
<p>In the midst of this, she also needs to keep in mind that she’s not entitled in any way for the Prof granting an extension or forgiving that lapse, especially considering her failure to wake up on time for the presentation puts the onus of responsibility 100% on her shoulders…and no one else. </p>
<p>Moreover, this is not only dependent on the Prof, but also college campus culture as well as some colleges don’t allow Profs as much flexibility in giving extensions or “do-overs” as others due to college/departmental academic policies. </p>
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<p>This depends on the office culture and project concerned. If it was a major project at one financial firm for a client with a deadline and it was late because another colleague overslept or otherwise flaked out somehow, we’d be livid with the colleague and my supervisor and his superiors would be in the midst of planning his/her termination. </p>
<p>If it involved securities compliance issues, that lateness could also result in daily multimillion dollar fines to the firm and possibly even jail time for the senior VP/executive whose group was responsible if the violation was egregious. </p>
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<p>@Vladenschlutte There would be no repercussions if you had a presentation to give and slept through it? Be grateful you have such understanding bosses.</p>
<p>Showing up late to work any old day isn’t the same as showing up late when you have to give a presentation to clients.</p>
<p>Yep, the ill patients in the hospital I work at will not be pleased I overslept.
Staying late won’t compensate for being MIA earlier in my shift.</p>
<p>One of my newly graduated employee over slept one morning. He didn’t show up until 11:30. He was called into my office. I told him if he couldn’t make it to work at 9 then he is too much of a wimp to party the night before. He was put on notice. Part of his job was to support our customers, because he wasn’t there other people had to cover for him.</p>
<p>I wonder what the professor will do.</p>
<p>Speaking from the other side of the desk, when students don’t show up for their presentations I usually assume that it is because they did not do the work. So, if you daughter has done the work, she should contact her professor immediately and explain her screw-up, and if possible show him or her the work that she’s done. It might be useful to offer to do the presentation in the next class, if possible. Mistakes are sometimes forgivable; laziness, less so.</p>
<p>I guess I’m the mean mom here. There would be no question of how to proceed. There’s never an excuse to go out drinking the night before a big presentation. She should consider herself lucky to learn this in the practice world instead of at a job. I would hope the professor would fail her for it. I would make my kid withdraw from the class and pay for the retake out of her own pocket. Since I’m a natural consequences kind of parent, I’m not sure what I’d do if the professor let it slide. Since she showed such an obvious lack of responsibility I would definitely be putting her on notice that if it happens again, she’ll be commuting to finish her degree. Unfortunately for her, colleges don’t send a report if a student is out drinking on school nights, so any grade less than a “B” will serve as an indictor that she doesn’t know how to keep fun in its proper time and place. She should consider herself warned.</p>
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<p>I don’t know… I probably wouldn’t get fired but it would make me look bad. However, I’m not in a job where I have to give presentations. They keep us in the back away from clients. Fair point though, if you have to present to customers and you miss it that’s pretty awful. </p>
<p>Not just presenting to customers. Presenting to senior management. Presenting to a team of consultants (the organization is paying them a couple of thousand bucks an hour to show up and listen to the employees. If the employee can’t be bothered to show up, that’s real money.)</p>
<p>I have young employees who think that having a job is like summer camp but with better (free) coffee. Doesn’t take long to figure out who can cut it.</p>
<p>I guess I’m another mean mom because I’m with halfemptypockets. I’m also a natural consequences mom. I’m not here to make my child happy or make everything bad go away. There’s no reason to oversleep because one’s out celebrating a birthday. I hope the child didn’t say that to the professor. A simple apology “I’m sorry. I screwed up. Where do I go from here?” suffices. </p>
<p>I can’t imagine oversleeping and missing a meeting, much less a presentation to clients or worse, potential clients…</p>
<p>Most parents would not even know that this happened to their college student.</p>
<p>I think you are lucky to have the ability to share and discuss in a calm and helping manner the options your student has in this case.</p>
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<p>I assure you I would be quite calm. And I do think it’s helpful for my children to realize that sometimes people really do screw up but then they have to live with the consequences. And by consequences I don’t mean having to face the professor. I mean failing the project. And if that means a bad overall grade in the class, withdrawing from the class. A very good life lesson is that Mom and Dad can’t fix everything. But that doesn’t mean we don’t love and support our kids. We’re certainly supporting them by paying for college. And that financial support comes with the expectation that they won’t do things like going out drinking the night before a big presentation. They know without us ever having spelled it out for them that that is immature, irresponsible, and therefore unacceptable behavior - it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t do it, just how we’d expect them to view it.</p>
<p>I sincerely doubt that my kids would call me in hysterics over this sort of screw up. However, I do think they’d call me and let me know, but I’d hope the only thing I’d hear in their voices was remorse. Hysterics smacks of “help me Mommy” and a screw up of this nature is not one we could or should make go away. Our two teenagers should know by now that my husband and I will help them through the natural consequences - e.g. I might find manual labor jobs for them around the house or with our friends that would help them pay for their extra course or I might try to find the course more cheaply in a nearby college so they could take it in the summer, etc. As far as we’re concerned, dealing with natural consequences is how we support our kids. I find if we parent this way we rarely, if ever, get angry. Our children have no reason to fear us. We’re here to help them.</p>
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<p>I didn’t interpret it this way at all. To me, hysterics means “oh my god, how could I be so stupid” and beating yourself up over it, which is nothing but remorse. I don’t think she was expecting her mother to fix it. I think she just needed someone to listen to her. I’ve done the same thing with my old roommate before, and she’s done it with me. It’s not like I expect anyone else to fix my problems. Sometimes, you just need someone to listen to you. I don’t think a freak out every once in a while is necessarily a bad thing, and it’s good that she feels like she has someone to go to.</p>
<p>^^^That seems like a pretty broad definition of hysterics, but maybe that’s how the word is used in some parts of the country - I don’t know. It certainly puts the OP’s daughter in a better light. </p>
<p>DS missed a midterm. It was an online midterm, and he just got the time wrong. He emailed the prof and admitted his error within minutes of the end of the testing period, asked for a chance to retake even with a 50% penalty, anything. Went to the prof’s office the next morning and did everything he could to try to get even a few points on the exam. But no slack from the prof. He got a big fat zero on the exam. The only reason I ever heard the story was because when he got his final grades, I asked about it. It was a guaranteed A kind of class, and he didn’t get an A. Literally 100% of the students get As. Until now, that is. Valuable lesson.</p>
<p>I also don’t agree that the phone call was a “fix it mommy” phone call.</p>
<p>I got a phone call from S2 when he was in the midst of a “sleep screw up.” He had mistakenly put his phone on his bed and the comforter “muffled” the wake up alarm…(Warning to all those who might make the same error!!!)</p>
<p>It was the morning of one of his med school interviews (to his top choice!) and he had an hour to drive…the interview day began at 9am and he woke up at 8:15am (oh my!).</p>
<p>He flew out of bed, DID NOT SHOWER (ew!) sprayed himself with body spray, brushed his teeth, and threw on his suit. He broke some speed limits (I’m sure!) and got there about 15 minutes late (parking in a questionable spot!). Luckily, there was an Orientation going on for all those who were being interviewed that day and no one seemed to notice that he slipped in late. There was a tiny break after the Orientation where he got to move his car to a correct spot. </p>
<p>Anyway, he called me once he was first in the car, and I tried to be the calming voice in the storm while he sped along the Interstate. lol Thank goodness it all worked out and he was accepted, but yikes, what a stressor!</p>
<p>OP…I hope it all works out for your D. I think that even if it does work out, she’ll have learned her lesson.</p>
<p>I also don’t agree that the phone call was a “fix it mommy” phone call.</p>
<p>I got a phone call from S2 when he was in the midst of a “sleep screw up.” He had mistakenly put his phone on his bed and the comforter “muffled” the wake up alarm…(Warning to all those who might make the same error!!!)</p>
<p>It was the morning of one of his med school interviews (to his top choice!) and he had an hour to drive…the interview day began at 9am and he woke up at 8:15am (oh my!).</p>
<p>He flew out of bed, DID NOT SHOWER (ew!) sprayed himself with body spray, brushed his teeth, and threw on his suit. He broke some speed limits (I’m sure!) and got there about 15 minutes late (parking in a questionable spot!). Luckily, there was an Orientation going on for all those who were being interviewed that day and no one seemed to notice that he slipped in late. There was a tiny break after the Orientation where he got to move his car to a correct spot. </p>
<p>Anyway, he called me once he was first in the car, and I tried to be the calming voice in the storm while he sped along the Interstate. lol Thank goodness it all worked out and he was accepted, but yikes, what a stressor!</p>
<p>OP…I hope it all works out for your D. I think that even if it does work out, she’ll have learned her lesson.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear about your daughter’s problem, OP. I have generally subscribed to the “do justice and love mercy” school of thought, so if I were the prof in this case, I would give your daughter a second chance. At the college level, I don’t really think it’s right for errors to be irrecoverable at this point in the semester–assuming that there are still about 2 months to go. </p>
<p>Whether withdrawal is possible now or not depends on the university’s policy. It may not be possible this far into the semester.</p>
<p>One of my colleagues was once asked about a make-up midterm exam by a student who had been out partying to celebrate his 21st birthday the evening before, and slept through the exam. My colleague did not permit a make-up. He told the student in a rather dead-pan voice, “Welcome to adulthood.” I realize that there are arguments in favor of that approach. It did not mean that the student automatically failed the course, though.</p>
<p>On the other hand, one of my most distinguished colleagues actually slept through part of an exam that he was supposed to be giving! He wasn’t even aware of it until a prof who was teaching another section of the same course–which had a common final exam for all sections–called to ask where he was.</p>
<p>People make mistakes. I think it’s a good idea if we are willing to cut each other some slack. </p>
<p>Wow…I guess I’m a softy. If it were my kid, who had no history of slacking/poor decision making, I’d feel pretty bad for her. It sounds like OPs D was beating herself up pretty badly. I remember being young and stupid…thank goodness my parents only knew a fraction of the near misses I had in college!</p>
<p>I remember when I didn’t take a calculus midterm because I was in the midst of sorority hazing and my mind totally blanked out. I went to speak with the professor afterwards and apologized, explaining that I totally was unable to think due to the stress of hazing. She was very nice and said she was VERY disappointed with me for putting up with the hazing. She said I earned a 0 on the exam by not showing up and she would give me ONE and only one chance to redeem myself–I had to get an amazingly great score on the final and she’d consider it.</p>
<p>My sorority proceeded with their shenanigans and tried to have a kangaroo court for me during finals week and I said, “NO, I’ve had enough. I quit!”</p>
<p>I must have done amazing on the final because I did pass the course with a “B or an A.” I spoke with the prof after the grades had been submitted and told her that I had quit the sorority (she was glad for me). The next term, the sorority was suspended because so many of its members were on academic probation! Shortly thereafter, the sorority was disbanded. I have a rather jaundiced view of the “joys” of sorority pledging due to my pretty awful experiences.</p>
<p>I was grateful that the prof did listen and was willing to give me ONE chance. I don’t think I ever told my folks about all of the angst and drama. Never told them the problems I was having with the sorority until after I had quit and resolved everything myself. My sibs mostly pledge frats and sororities and still have friends from those groups.</p>