<p>so, how exactly do you deal with it? So, do you basically try to distract your mind from it?
:(</p>
<p>1) Keep Busy.</p>
<p>2) Avoid extended periods alone - especially in your dorm room.</p>
<p>3) Find a new interest to immerse yourself into (club, sport, etc.).</p>
<p>And before you know it, you'll be done with the fall term.</p>
<p>thanks a lot......although it's not really that easy to do....I'll definitely try all of those, and I guess time will do the trick.
anyone else have something to say?</p>
<p>First of all, I would consider it to be inevitable. The magnitude will vary from student to student, but it will happen.</p>
<p>Recognizing it is the first step to correcting it. I don't think that students who feel homesick necessarily recognize it as homesickness. It could be depression, an intense desire to huddle oneself in a dorm room, and making excessive contact with home -- even during times when cell phone calls are prohibited.</p>
<p>Like any emotion, it's not so much a matter of stifling it as it is a matter of dealing with it. You can't say, "Oh, this feeling is homesickness. I don't want to be homesick, so I will now stop feeling this way." You CAN say, "Oh, this feeling is homesickness. I'm going to try to focus on other things because this isn't helping me to wallow in this. I can distract myself in these ways...."</p>
<p>Doing the sorts of things described above won't stop or keep you from feeling homesick. They simply help you to cope with it or reduce its influence over you.</p>
<p>When you feel the need to reach out to family, try to reach out instead to people on campus. So, to the list above, I'd add: "Talk to someone at your school about how you feel."</p>
<p>There are a few reasons for this. First, your family isn't there and they really can't help you. </p>
<p>Second, if you try to seek help from your family, they'll try to help. But that's bad news for you because your family is apt to make things worse by empathizing with you and feeling concern and they'll try to make you feel loved and that they are "there" for you and they will begin to miss you deeply and it will be a total psychological quagmire that feeds on itself. </p>
<p>Third, where your family is inept and poorly-situated (at least geographically) to assist you in a constructive way, the school has resources that are right there and ready and waiting for you with dozens of years of experience with your EXACT situation. </p>
<p>Fourth, until you reach out to the resources available to you at your school, you're not getting the best help to deal with your homesickness. A trained and/or experienced person at your school might be able to give you the perfect "tip" for coping with your homesickness, so ask them!</p>
<p>As a parent, I think parents play an important role in helping their child deal with homesickness. Sometimes, they help make it worse. But they can play a key role in making it easier for the student to live with (largely by butting out and deferring to the wisdom and experience of the school officials).</p>
<p>Parents who hear from their homesick children SHOULD guide their children to school resources as appropriate. Maybe it's just a chat with a prefect or RA. Maybe it's a visit to the Dean of Student Life or to the school counseling services.</p>
<p>Parents SHOULD remind their child that calls home are not a solution and that the parents aren't able to fix this, especially on a remote basis.</p>
<p>Parents SHOULD remember that their child is not painting the full picture when calling to express their homesickness. Sleep comfortably and go about your day in confidence that your child will be okay...instead of working yourself into a frenzied mess thinking that you need to do something yourself to save your child.</p>
<p>Parents SHOULDN'T suggest that they will take some sort of action if the homesickness continues or worsens. This includes promises to visit or remove the student from school. And they SHOULDN'T react to homesickness with sentimental expressions like "Well, we miss you too!"</p>
<p>Parents SHOULDN'T freak out if their child gets homesick. Being far away will heighten a parent's sense of helplessness -- which is going to be bad enough for a parent used to providing shelter and protection for their child. This could lead to the parent flailing about dramatically -- going into "emergency mode" -- and doing unnecessary, counterproductive and generally annoying things. By phone. Don't embarrass yourselves...or your child. (Although, I have to concede that engaging in some sort of public action at the expense of your dignity is arguably an excellent way to get your child to quickly get over the desire to be living with you under the same roof. Ever again.)</p>
<p>These are just my observations from a very limited experience as a parent and largely as a once-homesick college freshman and, later on, as a more cynical colllege upperclassman who observed homesickness and the often detrimental impact of overly-meddlesome parents. I make no claim here that this is sound information and will defer to school authorities, psychologists and others who might wish to refute the foregoing layperson's suggestions on the basis of their Knowledge.</p>
<p>wow! I'm totally overwhelmed by this detailed advice. I'll just make a copy of it and save it in my desktop! Thanks a LOT! :) I'm feeling a lot better now! ;)</p>
<p>Just keep in mind that everything I say is "seat of the pants, homemade psychology." I don't even play a psychologist on TV. So be sure to print this out too:</p>
<p>grain of salt</p>
<p>Good advice, D'yer. I'm quite curious to see if I get homesick. I've never actually been homesick; when I was little, I would intensely miss one of my parents if I was seperated from them for a long time, but I didn't really get homesickness because I identified many different places as 'home.' And then, as I grew older and got used to being away from people, even that went away. I wonder if that will change in a prep school environment. As I said, very curious. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>as many times as I'm reading the post I'm feeling like Roger should stickify the post!</p>
<p>I didn't realize I was homesick my first two terms at boarding school until...well, uh, until I read this thread. (2 years later)</p>
<p>hahaha! .........</p>
<p>I don't THINK I'll be that homesick. I wasn't homesick this summer and I was away from my mom (in different parts) for three weeks and then about two.</p>
<p>You probably won't be THAT homesick. For me, it occurred at 7:45 a.m. on a bitter cold Indiana morning as I was walking across the main quad from my dorm -- on one side of campus -- to my 8:00 class -- on the geometrically exact opposite side of campus, with a case of mono...and I thought to myself: "What the hell am I doing in Indiana? Where is Indiana anyway? I'm not in the middle of nowhere, I'm in the outskirts of the middle of nowhere. My life sucks. There's not a soul in sight because nobody else seems to have 8 o'clock classes. And I'm in Indiana."</p>
<p>I went back to my dorm afterwards via the Administration Building, looking up the admission office addresses for Georgia, UCLA, Stanford and Miami. I went back to my room, typed letters to each of the schools asking for transfer applications, and mailed them on the way to my 2 o'clock class. As I deposited those letters in the mailbox -- having seized some marginal control back over my life -- my homesickness evaporated. I honestly can't tell you whether I even received those transfer applications. I assume I did. But, apart from never filling them out, I have no idea what I did with them.</p>
<p>At the time I wasn't thinking, "This is a case of homesickness." I was just feeling pity for myself and it was only making things worse. I also didn't think, "Hey, I know! I will feel better if I do something about it!" In fact, I probably was so down in the dumps, I would have resisted that sort of thinking. It only occurred to me later on, as I looked back and laughed at myself for ever wanting to leave Notre Dame, that I understood what happened that day.</p>
<p>So add that to the advice for combating homesickness: take steps on your own to seize control over the things that are dragging you down. Remind yourself that you're still in charge! You don't have to actually accomplish anything. You just need to remind yourself that you CAN exert control over your universe. At least that's what comforted me.</p>
<p>yeah, I agree. Yet, it's quite tough, I am trying and hopefully will capture the feelings. My problem: "Oh, what the heck am I doing here, when I can be the valedictorian of my local HS w/ tons of local scholarships and guaranteed admission at the same place where I will end up trying from this accelerated school!"</p>
<p>Dr d'yer maker---- great advice. I give it the psychologists stamp of approval!</p>
<p>There is something called "immense homesickness" or something... and it can be serious. Some kids just breakdown and become seriously depressed.. some don't eat, etc... I forget where I read about this... I think it was a study on college freshmen... who knows. I doubt I'll become homesick.. I've been away from home for months before, without missing anyone. But I think I may miss real Mexican food (does not exist on the east coast).. OK, now I'm getting sad.</p>
<p>Two words: Taco Bell</p>
<p>That's not Mexican food!! They "just add water" -- that's why it tastes the same no matter if you're in North Dakota, Southern California or Boston.</p>
<p>I may not miss my parents that much, but I will miss home comforts because I won't always have them: restaurants I love, my closet (it's a walk in and I've decorated it with banners and little printouts, of like, my soccer roster and pictures of actresses I love), my kitty, Gilmore Girls, my stereo (not sure if I'm bringing it).</p>
<p>Yeah, the things I will miss will be.... not having a schedule! Or 6 hours of homework!</p>
<p>I like schedules but I also like creating my own, because it feels more mature to be doing something - like making an outline for summer reading - when I don't have to, and when you have a schedule, everyone else is doing the same thing. </p>
<p>Plus, it makes the day go by more quickly! (schedules)</p>