The only thing I’d do differently is not stay an extra day. We stayed because the flight out was cheaper but honestly, being in the city a full day after moving our daughter in and saying good-bye was just depressing!
I wouldn’t change anything except bringing less stuff! What worked well for us was arriving a day early so we had time to have a nice dinner, explore the town a bit, etc. before move-in day. Leaving a “love letter” (written before we left home) in D’s underwear drawer in her dorm room gave me a chance to say the important things so our goodbye could be quick and cheerful (at least until I got in the car and cried). It helped that I knew we’d see her in two months for Parents Weekend.
We left notes for both of our kids under their pillows. We included a $10 bill telling them to have a treat on us. Remarkably, both the boy and girl found the envelopes quickly…and thanked us.
We left letters also. They do appreciate it
If new to campus get some gift certificates to some places on-campus to eat etc. Just like $10.00. They really enjoy and thanked us multiple times…
Also a few days into it send some insomnia cookies… Nothing says meet me or be my friend when they are sharing messy chocolate chip cookies with their room /hall mates 
@Knowsstuff absolutely! I still remember the girl on my hall freshman year who brought snacks from her hometown to share at our first-night hall meeting.
Dropoff went as the Army dictated it would go. He brought a duffle bag filled with the items on the pre-issued list, nothing more, nothing less. No shopping runs for us. I just wish there had been more than 60 seconds to say goodbye. Not much time to mess that one up. Because he went to boarding school for high school, academy dropoff was our fifth time around, but it sure bore no resemblance to what everyone else here enjoyed, and it was our last. Ever since, he has reported back to school on his own directly from his summer assignment location. I guess I should be grateful for all those college-like boarding school dropoffs/move-ins. They sure were easier emotionally.
Our goodbye with our first was funny. She stood in the parking lot as we were pulling out, waving a white handkerchief. Didn’t cry until I got home and read the thank you note she left us.
My youngest says that she would take less stuff with her. This was however beyond my control, and it did all fit in the car at one end and fit in her dorm room at the other end.
Otherwise as others have said I would change nothing. I think that having attended the orientation the spring before classes start (right around high school graduation) was well worth it, and having visited a couple of times before picking which university to attend was also well worth it. Both made the transition smoother IMHO.
My advice is:
Make sure you have taken care of all the “stuff” well in advance. Like well before the departure from home. You don’t need to add logistical chaos or worries about whether the bed will be comfortable to emotions. Pack the doorstop and tape measure (and fan?) where you can access them pronto. Pack all bedding in one bag (and try to group other stuff accordingly)
Stay flexible and patient – you may need to wait for maintenance for something or for a late roommate and find you aren’t following the schedule published by the school or set in your mind – or the other parents may not be your cup of tea, etc. To that end, if you think you may need snacks or water, bring some (and enough for others who may be there.) Nothing huge – box of granola bars, etc. Don’t set yourself up to feel edgy!
Have a nice dinner the night before move in. Say what you want to then, whether it’s about how proud you are, how they can always call, how much you love them, or your expectations about staying in contact. As you are walking away from the dorm isn’t the time for that! Who needs to be trying to communicate actual content at that moment? !
And let them know that your involvement in the move and your advice is not about your lack of faith in them but in your need to feel like you’ve done everything possible as a parent to get off to a smooth start. That it’s about you managing you… Most kids aren’t thinking about how this impacts their parents (nor should they) but it helps if they know that their departure is making us do things which they feel are ridiculous.
@Massmomm your kid left you a Thank you letter? I will trade kids right on the spot ):
With my oldest we’d have stayed through orientation. We had no idea parents were expected to stay since in our day at our college they weren’t. The poor lad was pretty much the only one there without parents. It made him feel like we didn’t care.
We fixed that for my other two, but I definitely remain wistful that we had known and made plans accordingly. My younger two are far closer to us than my oldest and I really think that decision changed the course of our lives with him. Before he left for college, we were very close. That feeling of abandonment broke off our connection allowing another influential person into his life (not a good one) and changed the course of our relationship. (It’s a long story.)
He did well in college and has a successful future, so not all is lost. He’s also pleasant to us when we visit, but I’d sure love to hear “I love you mom” again from him. (My other two also saw this all play out - the longer story - and wish things were different. All three were close and he’s pretty much cut most ties with them too.)
Even if (when) orientation is cheesy, it’s nice to be able to experience it together just as we did with pretty much everything else in life. Don’t expect great things from orientation. Just enjoy the transition with your offspring.
Other than that, there’s nothing we’d have changed - and nothing we did differently from oldest to youngest. We were happy for them and adjusted to our emptier, then empty, nest on our own afterward. It’s ok to cry in the car after drop off and then pick yourself up to adjust to the new normal. Heck, it’s ok to miss them even years later when they’ve spent the summer with you on their last longer vacation before heading to second year of med school. Or at least for me it’s ok considering my middle lad left for that yesterday and I miss him.
I’ve asked my mom if the leaving ever gets better. Apparently in my family line it doesn’t. She’s still sad when we leave (though happy that we have good lives and enjoys that we share things with her).
The trade off is knowing we have a close family. I treasure that. I have friends who can’t wait for their kids to leave. I’d rather be sad and happy at the same time.
I would hug them a little longer, but nothingg else. I also left S2a note in his coat pockets, to find later. Funny thing is, when I left for work on Monday? S2 had left me a note in my coat pocket.
I will tell you from working at the annual post-semester yard sale held campus-wide, that y’all send your kids with 50% too much stuff. Mirrors, brita pitchers, irons, baslets, cute lamps, pillows, extra shoes, TVs? All sold for pennies on the dollar. S2 bought a huge TV one year for $20 when the guy in the next apartment didn’t want to fit it in his car, so told the Mom it was broken.
@Knowsstuff , yes, she actually thanked us for raising her! Maybe she was just priming us for the massive bill frin her wedding this past weekend?
What a great topic! We liked our drop offs for our kids their freshman years. My own experience was that when my mom dropped me off at college, she barely slowed the car down before pushing me out and throwing my suitcase after me before peeling off. OK, that is a joke. She did stop the car for a second. The peeling off part is true, however! So we wanted to make our girls’ drop offs more meaningful.
For our two freshmen, both my husband and I went to drop off, and due to the distance, left a day later than other parents. My oldest did have a semester of homesickness, but dealt with it by going to her advisor and speaking to her RA for suggestions. They told her to get involved, and boy, did she. She benefited from getting help, that’s not something she usually does.
D2 had her sister on campus, so never was homesick!
For our part, we miss our kids, but enjoyed having just couple time again. After dropping off D2, I only made dishes with mushrooms in them (hedgehog mushrooms - I dream about them) for a month. It is great to have the kids home, but there are advantages to having them on their own, too!
Since you’re asking, you are someone who has been thinking about this and likely has expectations. I was the same way. In order to manage my expectations, I explained to my D well in advance of drop off that I just had to make her bed. I felt that that would be my way of making sure she would be comfortable in her new environment, and it would also help me feel useful and give me a purpose on this emotional trip. I left the rest of the room up to her, but I put down that mattress topper, tucked in those sheets for her like I had been doing for her 18 years, and made sure she had her new comforter and sham on top to make the room feel somewhat finished. Maybe she appreciated it, maybe not, but it sure made me feel better!
Don’t count on being able to spend much time with your child during orientation. Sure, there may be some joint sessions for parents and students, but my D wanted to assimilate quickly. That was wonderful to see (what more could a parent hope for??), but that’s another reason I needed my bed-making task.
I also wrote an inspirational and funny letter to her that I tucked under her pillow with a small but meaningful gift. She told me several months later that she had just reread my letter and it made her cry, so I think I did my job. 
Good luck with drop off. Know that you will do your best, and what will be, will be.
My son spent a year at Neumann in PA. I loved their drop off. They gave us a few hours to unpack, hit the bookstore to get his bundle of books, and so on.
Then, at about 4 pm, they had a kickoff prayer service in the quad.
After it ended, the parents were advised to give their kids a goodbye hug, and head to the parking lots, as the kids were about to go to the dining hall for dinner. It was a clear message, and everyone got the hint.
My daughter is attending a state school, so there won’t be the same sort of process. But I’ve already assured her that we have no intentions of hanging around to tour the campus with her, or to take her out to lunch or anything. We’ll help her unpack, set up her room, and leave to let her start her new life.
Then, as with her brother, I’ll go have a good cry over dinner,lol.
So it seems as though you should read about the orientation schedule…some have parents dropping off, setting up, and out by a certain time when the kids are supposed to go off with other students. Some have a whole weekend of it for parents.
Not really something I’d do differently, but a dropoff suggestion. Something I did (suggested by another parent here on CC) was go around town after dropping kid off and pick up a few gift certificates at places near campus I thought they would like. Then when I got home I put them in notecards and put a month on the envelope for each card. Mailed them in a bunch to my kid, and told her to open on the first of each month. A little note saying their mom loved them, here was something to enjoy this month, etc. inside with the gift cards. My kids LOVED this, and it helped them explore the areas around their campuses during freshman year. I tried to make them enough money so they could take a friend (not too hard for a smoothie shop, coffee shop, local burrito place, independent bookstore, etc). I’d made a list of places to go before leaving home for dropoff. So it gave me something to do other than just miss my kid, too,
In later years when I was near campus, sometimes I’d steal a few minutes away and pick up gift cards to places near campus for birthday or stocking stuffer gifts, too.
Pick a college in a city that has IKEA, Costco, and a decent airport and you should be fine
Seriously, tho, we’ve experienced college in a college town, college city, remote college town, and big urban environment. After a few college drop-offs you get the feeling for what each kid wants, needs, and likes.