<p>I live three blocks from BU, and am so saddened to see on various posts the worries students and parents have about the safety of the area. (Please fill in any other city as you read this post). Our neighborhood is an urban one, with aging apartment buildings, condos and subsidized housing projects. Perhaps our housing and residents look different than what your kids are used to, but we are a stable, vibrant community. The young people that seem scary, have gone to school with with my kids and I know their parents have the same hopes and aspirations that you do for yours. </p>
<p>Your children will get such a richer experience if you can help them let go of their fears and learn from the urban environment they supposedly want. Perhaps they can continue with some of the volunteer work that looked so nice on their applications. We have community rooms that provide computers and a quiet space for children to do homework and would love college students to help. Many of these children's parents are working two jobs, aren't fluent in English or haven't had much schooling. Learn about our community this way instead of just rushing past and quivering with fear.</p>
<p>It is very hard when students move in to see how indulged and pampered many kids are. Every September we wait on lines while parents seem to buy out the whole supermarket "just in case" and dear neighbors cringe as they pull out their coupons and food stamps. Don't be impatient with the cashiers and service people, they live here and are doing they best they can with the intense onslaught of students.
Please teach your kids to be repectful of our neighborhood. We do not appreciate the groups of loud, alcohol driven crowds every weekend. It is not okay to urinate ot leave their garbage on our streets. I won't even describe the end results of alcohol and sports events!
If your children have never used public transportation, tell them to imagine the other passengers are family members. Repeatedly I see the students rush past elderly, infirm and very pregnant neighbors to get seats. Surely, they would not do that at home. </p>
<p>" Repeatedly I see the students rush past elderly, infirm and very pregnant neighbors to get seats. Surely, they would not do that at home. "</p>
<p>Actually, that's probably true because probably most never have used public transportation before, and aren't aware of the politeness rules about giving seats to the elderly and infirm. Your post may help some parents let their students know about these courtesies.</p>
<p>(I also have noticed that in general, young people don't seem to have been brought up to give seats to the elderly or infirm even in social settings. I can remember when I was a college professor, the faculty and staff used to provide a preThanksgiving dinner for the whole department, including students. The students would almost knock over even elderly professors and staff to get to the food first and to grab the chairs. Lack of home training. Sad.)</p>
<p>Sadly, when we get so focused on those calculas classes, the IB and AP, ,any parents forget basic civility- treating others with respect, having patience, manners, and civics- taking care of the community they live in</p>
<p>When I am on our buses, I am pleased when i see young people moving, shifting,etc, so that the elderly, people with babies, people in wheel chairs, can have the seat or the room...it gives me hope</p>
<p>this stuff starts as soon as a kid can walk and talk, with the basic please and thank you, but parents get so afraid of correcting their kids (we see that with the allowing of mean behavior because the poor kid is "transitioning- I call rude behavior no matter the excuse hogwash, but alas, many parents say, well, you have to let it slide)</p>
<p>What irks me is when people leave messy tables in cafeterias, or create a mess just to be funny....</p>
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Sadly, when we get so focused on those calculas classes, the IB and AP, ,any parents forget basic civility- treating others with respect, having patience, manners, and civics- taking care of the community they live in
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<p>Perhaps among the throngs of students riding buses and subways, CGM can distinguish which ones took IB, AP and Calculus. For the life of me, I cannot. Nor can I see any connection between lack of good manners and academic achievement. One thing I do know, however: if students are in calculus class, they are not out shooting one another or dealing drugs.</p>
<p>my point was that often parents care more about academics and don't teach their kids right from wrong, manners, civility, civics, etc</p>
<p>And I know some kids who go off drinking, paartying, stealing, cheating who do take those tough classes, so please, being in a tough academic program does not mean those kids are all angels and well mannered</p>
<p>cgm: The "transitioning" discussion thread (where I expressed the view that kids should be cut a little slack in the standard of their behavior toward their parents the summer before college) does not mean that I don't expect my kids to treat ALL people they may meet with dignity and respect (which they do). If I ever caught my sons treating people the way the OP describes, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't like my reaction, as it wouldn't be pretty. </p>
<p>"Perhaps they can continue with some of the volunteer work that looked so nice on their applications." - Ouch (and agreed!).You raise many good points, OP, and it saddens me that so many college kids are like this (although, many are not--most certainly, we surely musn't generalize).</p>
<p>CA2006
It heartens me to know you took time out of what I'm sure is a busy day to read and respond to my long post. I wish you lots of luck during your four years of college. </p>
<p>Wouldn't it be nice if during orientation sessions, colleges had speakers
from the communities helping the students to understand their new surroundings? All that seems to be addressed are crime statistics and security measures, not how to be a good neighbor.</p>
<p>Glad you clarified, CGM, because your post surely seemed to paint high achieving kids with a broad brush.</p>
<p>Second spring:</p>
<p>I am very much in agreement with you original post. I also have a great deal of sympathy toward people who live near BU and Northeastern with their large numbers of students.</p>
<p>But it is true that often we as parents miss the little things because we can get so focus on "sucess" academically, and not teach the sucess at life part</p>
<p>My son's college starts off orientation for the freshman by building a Habitat for Humanity house partly on campus and then finishing at a nearby location where a local family will get it. All freshman are required to do community service their first year in hopes that they will enjoy it enough to continue.
<a href="http://web.roanoke.edu/x7438.xml%5B/url%5D">http://web.roanoke.edu/x7438.xml</a></p>
<p>One of the problems with figuring out just how "civil" the average youth is that we as humans tend to have very vivid and extended memories of unpleasant experiences. We also tend to put what we categorize as "normal" into the "white noise" of the background. Seeing someone get up and offer a seat to an elderly person doesn't stick out in a person's mind as much as the "tsk tsk" sort of reaction we have when a young person doesn't.</p>
<p>I'm not suggesting that young people today are the epitome of manners, either. I'm just suggesting that perhaps things aren't worse today than they were in "the good ol' days," but that we have a habit of rose-coloring the past and being more aware of the bads of the present.</p>
<p>Kathiep-what a wonderful orientation your son will be part of. That's the kind of program I think demystifies the neighborhood surrounding the school and hopefully will help make the kids feel part of the larger community.
This was the point of my first post, learning about the world around the school instead of fearing or dismissing it. </p>
<p>UCLAri-or perhaps I'm just getting to be one of those elderly women who wouldn't mind a seat!</p>
<p>Now back to nagging son to pack up for school, we're trying to ship off boxes today. Seems there's a big pile of electronics, but very little clothing. You may hear me yelling....</p>