My dad passed away this June, and I’m not sure how I should go about mentioning this on my college applications.
I’ve told both teachers who wrote my recommendation letters and my counselor about it when I was applying to Questbridge, but I kind of hope they don’t mention it in my letters to actual colleges because I’m not trying to pry on anyone’s sympathy. Also, I’m not sure if I should mention it in the additional information section of my app in case my teachers don’t bring it up, but doing so seems like overkill if they did. Suggestions?
What are you trying to explain with this info? Did you tank the semester? If so have your GC address it in their rec.
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you are okay. I would ask your counselor at least if your dad’s passing has been referred to in the letter of rec. If so, no need to mention it again, unless you feel you need to address it. It definitely should be mentioned though, because it surely affected you in some way. And don’t worry, colleges don’t admit on sympathy. They want to admit people they like. Write an essay that shows them who you are and makes them want a student like you at your college. That should be your main focus. Good luck going forward.
Sorry for your loss. Sadly I was in the exact same situation. I did not mention it on my college applications (and I highly doubt my guidance counselor did since he didn’t even know me by name) as I did not feel it was not relevant to my academic performance and at the time it was just too raw for me to write a coherent essay about. But if it is part of the story you want to tell in your essay, then by all means mention it. Or as noted above you could ask your guidance counselor to not it in his/her recommendation.
I mentioned how my junior year grades weren’t as high as they could’ve been (I got B’s in AP Physics 1, AP Chem, and Multivariable Calculus and low A’s in my other classes…I had all A’s besides AP World before jr yr.) Honestly, I know those aren’t even “bad” grades per se, but there is a clear downward trend in my grades since freshman year which I know looks bad to colleges. Also, I plan on majoring in STEM, so the fact that my lowest grades were in AP Science and College Math classes is probably a red flag.
My GC has already submitted her rec to Common App (early September, actually), so I’m not sure if I should ask her to rewrite/update it? I did tell her about the situation, but not specifically to address it in her rec (same with both teachers who wrote my recs).
I guess I’m scared that colleges will think I’m playing the sympathy card because I think my situation is mentioned in too many parts of the application, from the recommendations (maybe) to my CommonApp essay (how my dad’s cancer changed me) to my interview (my interviewer specifically asked about my family :/) to the additional information section (Grade drop). My dad’s cancer definitely affected me, my time management, and a little bit of my personality (I guess I wasn’t as optimistic as before), but at the same time, I don’t want colleges to think that all of my flaws are because of my dad’s cancer, and I don’t want them to think that I’m blaming my “low” grades and “low” AP scores entirely on my dad’s cancer (they were in part my fault for taking too many hard classes at once).
The parent info section already has a place to say that a parent is deceased, along with their date of death. You’ve also written about it in your Common App essay. Talking about it in your additional info section is definitely overkill.
My condolences, also.
You’ve said you may be thinking Ivy level. Yes, they will notice the parent’s date of passing. Nothing at all wrong with a GC or teacher mentioning it.
Right now, in ways, you’re trying to pick up the pieces. Let that include other colleges you like, as well. Best wishes.