I am talking to another advisor today, my off-campus therapist tomorrow, and one of the Deans who has worked closely with me since freshman year.
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Ah. Well, if you decide to stay at the LAC, maybe those advisors and professors and administrators can provide some additional support and resources to make the experience better.
I canât imagine anyone who knows LA describing UCLA as in the same area as USC. The trip between the two is an hour each way by bus and train. Not something that would be conducive to making a bunch of friends coming in as a junior, or allowing you to get fully involved in campus life.
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Just sayinâ. Anyone that unhappy with their present situation that they are willing to live off-campus, with family, on the other side of the continent, isnât looking for advice; theyâre looking for validation that theyâre making the right decision.
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When is the USC financial aid offer expected ?
Their offices were closed yesterday because of Memorial Day but I am calling the office today.
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@pineapplenarwhal , not constructive in this post, but I am sending a virtual hug.
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Thank you so much! I could really use one considering all the stress thatâs going on right now haha.
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Hopefully, sharing your situation on this thread has been a cathartic experience for you.
Just knowing that others care so much for your health & well-being should add a bit of comfort to your daily life.
Sharing your concerns has led you to get other teachers & administrators involved & aware of your situationâand this should help.
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OP, I donât have any practical advice for you (and am sending a virtual hug as well) but wanted to throw out there that college is just four years of the rest of your life. It would be great if everyoneâs college experience was what we see in the movies and on TV- lifelong friends, a âgangâ of secondary friends who you love with all your heart in addition to the four âbestiesâ, a never-ending series of parties and earnest dinners where you talk about the meaning of life, etc.
But it ainât- and yâknow what? Thatâs ok. My spouse- first Gen college, was always juggling a demanding course load (two different degree programs simultaneously), paying jobs, a demanding EC, etc- I donât think I have ever met or heard about a college friend. I have never heard about a party, a dinner, a daytrip, anything social. College positioned him for a terrific adult life- interesting work, meeting fascinating people, doing good in the world, contributing to the community everywhere heâs lived, civic involvement, a solid living. So for sure- it paid off.
But it wasnât the fantasy college experience of strolling across the green with your besties on a balmy fall day (even though he attended one of those fantasy colleges. But was too busy working and studying to do much strolling).
And thatâs ok.
Just want to throw that out there so you can keep your expectations in check. Iâve asked âDid you ever think of transferring?â and the answer is always âno wayâ. To transfer to a more expensive/less prestigious college on the off-chance that youâd have more friends? That wasnât the plan. And yes- winters were brutal, and gray, and damp, when they werenât snowy and cold.
Iâm not telling you this to advocate for you staying where you are. Depression is a bear to grapple with and I am so sad you are in pain. But be mindful that âwherever you go, there you areâ. Sometimes a change in weather, scenery, location is enough to help you reboot. And sometimes the only thing that changes IS the location- the people are different- sure- but itâs STILL hard to find your âpeepsâ. The clubs are different- but there are still in-groups and non-groups, and by junior year some of these patterns are well entrenched.
I know from my spouseâs experience that being the kid with no money-- and constantly worried about money- on a college campus isnât the most fun thing in the world- and can be very alienating. But it does motivate you down the road- not a bad thing- and it does help put things in perspective. And the college you are looking at- USC- has a LOT of very affluent students-- itâs not like you are transferring to Berea, or a campus where there is nothing to spend money on.
Hugs to you.
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@blossom â Thatâs a lovely post, and I agree with everything you say.
The only thing that might make a transfer this year a little easier than other years in terms of finding your people is that USC was 100% virtual last year, and a lot of rising sophomores are, socially, like incoming freshmen of other years. (And even some rising juniors are probably looking to establish/re-establish friend groups, after an abrupt departure from campus in March of 2020.
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For comparison between USC and some ânortheastern LACs in the middle of nowhereâ (CN = College Navigator, USNWR = US News and World Report):
| School | frosh % no grants/scholarships (CN) | frosh % Pell grant (CN) | UG % Pell grant (USNWR) |
|---|---|---|---|
| USC | 35% | 18% | 22% |
| Hamilton | 38% | 19% | 17% |
| Middlebury | 50% | 17% | 17% |
| Williams | 49% | 20% | 23% |
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UCB- I wonât argue your percentages- but at a college as small as Williams (for example), the number of astronomically wealthy kids (and they are there- for sure) is going to be much smaller, and their influence MUCH less obvious than it will be at USC regardless of the percentages. Sure- the rich kids at Williams might be spending winter break in Aruba (although not this past, Covid year). But thatâs a one shot âlook at me I have moneyâ, and not the endless rows of fancy cars, going out every night, fancy restaurants âjust becauseâ that you will see at an urban campus like USC with a heavy cohort of affluent kids going about their affluent lives on a daily basis.
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The point is that life doesnât end at the end of undergrad so you should weigh the portion of your life after undergrad heavily. Yes, mental and emotional health is important but
- Iâm not convinced that USC would be immeasurably better for the OPâs mental health going forward.
- We need to know USCâs fin aid package. I have a suspicion that carrying a huge debt load doesnât do wonders for anyoneâs mental health either.
Again, if you are so concerned with the OPâs mental health, would you advise them to drop out or transfer somewhere local, cheap, and no-name? After all, that also would get them away from that LAC that is bad for their mental health.
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On the other hand, the cohort of Pell grant students is also much larger in absolute numbers at USC than at those small LACs.
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College years can be a formative & sensitive time of life for many individualsâincluding OP. Emotional scars can affect one for decades.
I do not have enough information at this time to prematurely propose alternate solutions.
OP seems to have an alternate plan which includes study abroad for a semester.
Other options can be investigated, but no need to do so before additional information is known & then additional questions / information may be needed from or by the OP.
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any news on financial aid?
I got my fin aid package and itâs more expensive than my current LAC. Iâve also done a bit of thinking, examining the opinions of people on this forum, two of my professors, and my therapist and I think I am going to stay at my LAC and go overseas Spring 2022. Financially, the LAC is my best option but I know socially, I am just going to have to toughen it out and hope the mental strain doesnât force me to snap.
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Thank you everyone for your inputs 
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Congrats! You will do fine. I know itâs been tough, but you are doing exceedingly well. You should be super-proud of yourself.
Travel and volunteerâŠboth can transform your life!
Good luck.
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