My essays are broken down into:
#1 ~ Refusal to conform to a professor’s expectations and then failing her class. This failure almost caused me to lose my scholarship so I vowed to increase my GPA the following semester. I aced all my academic courses the following semester but it meant treating other people as wrungs on a ladder, allowing academic dishonesty, sucking up to the professors, etc. I didn’t regret this as I legit had no other choice (I feel the meaning of regret is wanting to go back and do things differently but I would do it all again because I had to). Although I didn’t regret what I did, it still made me feel uncomfortable - this discomfort was because I was exposed to Morpheus’ “red pill”. In other words, if I had conformed from the beginning, I would probably still be in a state of blissful ignorance and be unaware to the injustices in China’s academic system. I would have gotten everything I wanted. But since I refused to conform initially, I had effectively opened up Pandora’s box and saw through my ignorance. Getting what I didn’t want. My focal point was that getting what you want will lead you to a life of happiness - but it’s rather superficial, therefore, the largest tragedy. Not getting what you want is a tragedy, but it teaches you that there is so much more to life than just simple happiness - life also has virtue, etc.
#2 ~ I talked about how I previously had grandiose illusions of service. How I was previously living a life in servitude rather than a life of service. How I hated service and whenever I helped people I always wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else. But I still served because I felt that I was a selfish monster of sorts because I failed to actually care. I just didn’t care and was only helping other people to put up a front. And how my motives for service were selfish and that by serving, I could perhaps enjoy it and become “human”. My change, however, came with a volunteer teaching trip to the slums of an impoverished town. Whilst there we played teambuilding game with kids from a local school all in preparation to teach them. Or so I thought. It turned out though that playing those games was actually teaching them but I was so caught up having fun that I didn’t even think we were serving. Basically, I found out that my understanding of service as a sacrifice was all wrong. All those times I thought I was serving, I was merely punishing myself. Everyone has their own way of serving, and service is basically helping other people in a way you enjoy. Service is meant to be energizing.
#3 ~ I opened with how DS terrifies me as it means shedding the bubble wrap society has wrapped me in since birth and facing only the essential facts in life. Not to mention the dangerousness of DS which led to the death of one or more students over the years. But what terrifies me more is resigning myself to the current state of the world. Because right now, I’m all lined up to graduate and have a road paved with “success” laid in front of me. One of the perks of graduating from the top school in China pretty much means being set for life - but that disgusts me. I don’t want to be set for life and ignore the problems of society - it just feels like hush money. I want to tear down our social constructions and change the world. I really want to help people realise how inauthentic they are all living and how we are squandering our potential. I want to help people live the lives that they deserve. And I think DS is the place that will effectively kit me up with the tools necessary to lead a life of service and change the world for the better.
#4 ~ I chose the democracy essay. I recounted my time at Outer Coast and how self-governance truly played out - the good, the bad and the ugly. I talked about how we as the student body sort of disintegrated into disarray, forming cliques, becoming a demagoguery, despite our initial ideals. I talked about how my time as Mediator helped me see the true problems and communication barriers. I talked about my time as a “dictator” that was still democratic because my policies were in the interest of everyone. I talked about how power got to my head and the failure of democracy within the SB. I talked about how democracy isn’t a power structure but a spirit of the people. Ultimately, I talked about how democracy is a work in progress because it’s about a stubborn commitment to each other above all else.
#5 ~ The book I chose was La Nausea by Sartre. I talked about how reading it has changed my perception of Adults. I used to look up to Adults because of their ability to improvise and solve any problem Life threw their way. But reading La Nausea helped me see that Adults actually create most of their own problems and that it’s absurd to idolise someone who solves problems if they are the ones who create the problems in the first place. Reading La Nausea changed my whole perspective - I once aspired to be like an Adult, but now I’m sorely disappointed. For all their talk of living in the real world and “grow up”, Adults are nothing more than overgrown children who fail to see the world for what it truly is.
I’m not too sure if my summaries make sense. I’ve got the full picture in my mind, so I’m not too sure how well my words reflect my ideas. I’m not too sure that my actual essays reflect my true ideas either 
but that’s basically the gist of what I wrote.
