<p>Does anyone know if there's a policy for getting an admission offer deferred for a year? For a student offered admission into the 9th grade, are boarding schools apt to agree to a deferred admission until 10th grade? Has anyone successfully worked out such an arrangement?</p>
<p>I would also be interested in knowing if anyone has successfully negotiated a deferred admission into the same grade they were accepted into; for example if someone decided to stay at their home school for 9th grade and enter the boarding school the following year for 9th grade.</p>
<p>I am not sure about this. The schools my sons have applied to and attended all have very strict guidelines on # of students and gender ratio. When my oldest applied as an 11th grader, a number of schools said that they could only take him if an 11th grade male slot opened up. I suppose it is possible and worth a call if there is a compelling reason the student needs to defer a year</p>
<p>We started revisits and I don't think my son is ready to board. He's in 8th grade and we had hoped he would have matured more during the year (since we started looking at schools last year), especially in time management. </p>
<p>I discussed deferring with my husband last night, but I don't want to bring this up with the schools yet. I think my son should attend his current school (which goes through 9th grade) and then repeat 9th at boarding school.</p>
<p>Does anyone have any experience with deferred admission? We will continue the revisits to determine the school he likes best, but I think he should wait until Fall 2009. My son would hate us to put him through the admission/application process again.</p>
<p>Do schools list their deferred admission policy anywhere or is the decision made on an individual basis? I don't want to set off any red flags.</p>
<p>CKSABS, my understanding (admittedly based on nothing) is that BS's don't defer. I think in part this is because they get to maintain flexibility; also there is a smallish body of work upon which to base admissions decisions, and a lot can change for a student in the course of a year. Teenagers change - they change focus and characteristics like clothing. A student who seems like a good fit one year may reveal less desirable behaviors a year later. Of course the opposite is true too - a student may go from being undesirable to desirable.</p>
<p>This said, if your antennae are up because you don't feel your S is ready this year, you have to explore this sense. I am confident that this is not a new situation for boarding schools. You have nothing to lose by talking to the school. Your son is admitted. Who cares if you set off red flags - you've got red flags all over your post. If you decide your son is not ready, but the school won't defer, are you going to send him anyway even though you think it will end in disaster? I can't see how that is in your son's interests. I'd err on the side of openness with the school.</p>
<p>However this works out on deferred admissions, you might want to consider a short summer boarding program...even a one-week program. That would help you gauge the situation and, if something does pop up, it would give him a chance to work things out that are better worked out during the summer than at boarding school.</p>
<p>Whether it's to help prepare for the coming year, assess his readiness going forward, or give him a substitute experience, this might be a good idea for the coming summer.</p>
<p>My concern in prematurely discussing this with admissions is not knowing what options are available first and potentially jeopardizing his candidacy next year if we raise any red flags. Can we tell admissions he needs another year to mature? Will admissions believe they made a mistake if they thought he was ready, but we determined he was not? Will they second-guess next year's application? </p>
<p>At one of our revisits, I did indirectly bring it up with the head of school because my son has this school last on his list (much to my husbands chagrin since it's his alma mater). The Head said not everyone is ready to board, but did not bite on the deferment part. Unfortunately, no one has come out yet and said they have been deferred. </p>
<p>We sill have 3 revisits left, so I'll continue to probe more directly, especially at schools he rules out during the visit.</p>
<p>D'yer - My son has been away on his own for many weeks, but not in academic situations for more than a week. He is fine in short stretches, but is easily distracted and never plans ahead for anything. </p>
<p>We need to "remind" him frequently each day to do his homework. In an unsupervised environment, I know he will flounder initially, especially at the schools where he was accepted. We hope he begins to mature soon and learns some time management skills. My husband and I believe that time management skills are the single most important thing to have to succeed in boarding school and my son does not yet have any.</p>
<p>laxtaxi - Both of my boys play on 3 different lacrosse teams each, so I know the feeling.</p>
<p>The first year my son applied to NMH, I was not certain I wanted him to leave home yet (baby of the family). I shared that with both the admissions counselor and a coach, who both told us that if there was even the slightest chance we would send our son that year, then by all means apply, but....it was not unusual for a family to decide, after acceptance, that the child was not yet ready to board. They told me that, generally, if a student is accepted the first year and maintains their grades and ec's, they will usually be admitted the following year. We ended up having to do that anyway, because my son was admitted without fa the first go-round (and I sometimes wonder if that conversation I had with them had something to do with it) and admitted the next year. So, not exactly deferrment....but he was pretty much guaranteed admission.</p>
<p>Thanks, Keylyme. NMH is one of the schools where he was accepted, but it's lower on his list. Did your son enter as a 10th grader? Did he repeat a year?</p>
<p>My son repeated 9th....he had an excellent first 9th grade year, but it was their suggestion and our choice. I think it had to do with his athletic recruitment (the repeating thing), but my son really wanted to repeat because he wanted to be a "4 year senior" like his older brother.</p>
<p>Is the time management issue the main concern? If it is, you might talk with the school directly about that issue. I have the same concerns for my son -- I he will flounder at the beginning. Time management issues are common for 9th grade boys. I know at one school, you can pay for a organizational coach to help them get started correctly and stay on track. We will be looking at those types of options and asking during revisit days about how they work on time management issues at the start of the year.</p>
<p>keylyme- My son wants to be a four year senior too. He's not keen on repeating though. He's near the top of his class academically and does not think it's necessary. My husband and I think he should repeat 9th. (My husband did grumble about paying $27k for another year at his current school, saying over $70k for 9th grade is crazy.) </p>
<p>hsmomstef- Unfortunately, I believe my son would be immune to coaching (as he is to parent berating). His primary issue is that he has no sense of time. He's never in a hurray, even when late. He goes at his own pace, which is very slow. I don't believe this trait is conducive to boarding school success.</p>
<p>I can only tell you that it is common in the prep school world to repeat a year. So...your son won't feel out of place. My son was thrilled at the opportunity. He wanted his full four years at this school. He has some older friends whom he has met through Varsity athletic teams, but his best friend are all "true" freshman and repeaters like himself.
My son never did his work until the last minute at home, and I always was hounding him. He always did get it done, but often by the skin of his teeth. I was always the one who got all of his sports equipment ready, dragged him out of bed to be places in time, etc. From day one at bs, he has been on top of everything himself. It's like he always had the ability to do it, but just didn't need to as long as his maid service was in place. He wants to do well and is pretty competitive about academics as well as athletics, so when sink came to swim....he swam! Maybe it will be the same for your son.</p>
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<p>This is learned behavior and can be unlearned. And the sooner, the better. I wouldn't want to think of BS as a place to cure things...but your son's been accepted and the question on the table is whether it's the right choice for him. I can't answer that...but I can say that if this is your primary concern, rest easy. Someone who is bright enough to get in to BS is going to be bright enough to realize that he better move his rear end a little faster after he has racked up enough tardies to be put on a weekend restriction or two or three.</p>
<p>It makes sense...but I speak from experience. My S had almost a month grace period as a new student before they started counting up tardy minutes toward restriction. The next month or two he was a frequent member of the weekend restriction list. (The first weekend he had to make hourly checks and was late to so many of those that he got himself put on another one!)</p>
<p>By the end of the semester he understood that it sucks to be stuck on campus when everyone else has privileges to go into town and do things like watch a movie without having to leave it to make an hourly check-in. I fully expect your son is just as bright as that. This isn't rocket science for the kids. And a propensity for tardiness is not some genetic disorder or gland problem that he has to resign himself to be burdened by for his entire life.</p>
<p>Anyway, that was first semester. This semester he has yet to use up even 1 of this 15 tardy minutes. In fact, he is something of a Time Master now.</p>
<p>You see, this semester, his plan is to save up his tardy minutes until the last week of school and use them up strategically to increase free periods. He's got it all worked out. Because it takes 5 tardy minutes to have a sanction kick in, he figures he has 19 minutes to play with and can sleep in one morning or expand a free period by that much time. It may not be the most mature path, but you have to be pretty darn good at time management to play those sorts of games.</p>
<p>Going to boarding school to become a better time manager isn't something I'd advise. OTOH, I would advise against thinking that your son isn't cut out for boarding school because he struggles with time management. Yes, he will struggle with that. But if that's the biggest concern, I will guarantee you that he'll work that out. Your hair may turn gray and you may claw at your eyeballs...but it's a really great feeling when your son "gets it." (As for whether it's worth $70K...I make no warranties or guarantees other than to say it's worth something.)</p>
<p>We were told by several schools in the Fall of 2006 that they do not do deferrals. If he did not want to attend with his accepted class he was welcome to reapply. No guarantees. They were quite specific about it. PM me for specific schools where this question was raised.</p>
<p>CKSABS it sound like you are quite torn. I also have not known anyone to get deferred. Your son would have to apply again next year.</p>
<p>I agree with D'yer, but add that it sounds like your son has a fine system going for him at home now. He is doing great academically and has time to play on several sports teams. He has you as a reminder service. If you think this pattern can and will change if he stays home and in the same school, why not try to change it now, when he doesn't have the added work of interviews and applications, instead of trying it next year when he does?
I know we would have had a rebellion and bad attitude if we had told our son he could not go to the schools he had gotten into. (Look at the responses of kids who were admitted without FA.) </p>
<p>I think repeating grades can be appropriate, but a better time to decide that would have been before your son did all the work of application. Going to bs won't magically change your son's habits, but I think the odds are that the change will be helpful because it will break his pattern. I would try to influence his choice if possible to a school with a high % of boarders and a study hours/study hall set-up that you think would work best for him. Let us know how things work out.</p>
<p>I agree with D'yer Maker and Inquiring. It's amazing what a child will do when he or she must be responsible for themselves. My d went from a girl who had great trouble turning her homework in (my word, the nagging I did...totally counterproductive, of course, but I felt I had to do <em>something</em>) to someone who handles sports, homework, social, and those necessary but boring chores with elan and skill. Of course, she makes mistakes, but there's always someone to help her if she really needs it and is willing to ask. At home, she didn't want to participate in more than one activity because it meant a long time in the car and the hassle of keeping track of all the equipment to do it. Now, she is in at least 3 'extras' plus advanced classes and is getting it all done. She is also planning ahead...what classes to take and when to take them, what summer projects she wants to be part of, and what she needs to do to be a Student Leader <em>and</em> go abroad for a semester. She's actually talking about what colleges she wants to try for...and she's a freshman. Did I mention she's a freshman?</p>
<p>Sometimes by keeping them close we inadvertantly clip their wings. I say give them the challenge and watch them rise to it. </p>
<p>Now that said...there were a few students in her grade who didn't make it past Christmas. But the school worked with them and told them that if they improved they could come back next year (whether to repeat 9th or to enter 10th I don't know).</p>
<p>After several weeks of agonizing (and five revisits), we have decided that my son will stay at his current school for the last year (9th grade). We are 95% sure he will repeat 9th grade in boarding school unless we see a dramatic change.</p>
<p>We spoke to the admission directors yesterday to give them our decision. We brought up deffering his admission with each school and none said they formally did that. However, three of the schools implied, one way or another, there will be one less opening for next year's applicants.</p>
<p>Our sense is, if they liked you enough to accept you the first time, they will likely do it again. In fact last night and today, we have received encouraging calls/emails from students, faculty and coaches he met through the process and at revisits.</p>
<p>My son, although disappointed, knows he'll have important leaderships roles at his current school (which he loves) and thinks the process will be a lot easier next year. In fact, he asked if he could use the same essay responses again next year, since they seemed to work well. We also promised him a little weekend get away for having to take the (dredded) SSATs again next fall. (Actually, he says they are a waste of time.)</p>
<p>Thank you for your feedback!</p>
<p>That sounds like you made a well thought-out decision. I know that I was encouraging you to look past some of your concerns, but this sounds like your decision and game plan is well thought out and it must feel great to be able to get back to focusing on the present and returning to normalcy! </p>
<p>I am very impressed and admire the hard work, effort, time and expense you invested in this...and, even though it doesn't have a BS "payout," I don't think it's for naught since the end result is one in which you can have a high degree of confidence that you've done what's best for your son.</p>