Hello everyone,
My daughter got engaged this year and after looking at some venues, she came away shell-shocked at the cost of a small wedding for 50 people. We are in the New York lower Hudson valley area. Most of the family/friends are in the tri-state area.
Now, as an alternative, they are thinking about a destination wedding. While they were planning on a honeymoon trip to Japan, they are willing to consider a destination wedding in the US, Mexico or Caribbean to combine wedding and honeymoon and save on the total cost. They understand that the guests would probably total no more than 20 people as it is expected some of the intended guests would not be able or want to travel.
They want to keep a floral theme. They had been looking at venues with greenhouses or arboretums. Can anyone recommend a good experience destination wedding at a place that fits this theme? I thought of Maui but then the cost would defeat the purpose. This is for Spring 2023. Appreciate your help in advance.
We went to a fabulous destination wedding in the small village of Tulum. Our hotel was right on the beach. You fly into Cancun so costs wouldn’t be all that outrageous (at least not compared to Hawaii). It was really lovely, and apparently there are wedding planners there who specialize in these events.
D chose to marry in a National Park. The venue, a lodge in Shenandoah, had a limit of 45, so they had to pare down the invite. But it was far less expensive than city venues in DC or our small city and fun to explore a new park for those of us from the west.
S married in a resort in Danang, Vietnam. Parts of our family are east Asia and Australia based, so it worked well for us, was a fun adventure, reasonable as well as gorgeous, and the food incredible. These days…probably not as easy.
Destination weddings can be great. But they do transfer the cost burden to the guests. For many guests it is a welcomed excuse for a fun trip. For others, especially the younger crowd low on funds and vacation time, it can be a challenge.
Haze Grey, we have looked at Inisfree. It is a dream to have it there. However, it appeared a bit complicated but will take a second look. Will look at Cary Arboretum. Thank you.
Colorado_mom, agree and frankly, I have never been to one. That said, the pared down guest list will be mostly family and a couple of very close friends that will be ok with the travel as long as it is not crazy expensive or so far that it would require many vacations days to get there and back.
I don’t have venue recommendations but wanted to say that I’m glad they understand that not a lot of people may be willing to make the trip.
I have a nephew who planned a destination wedding in Mexico, and I immediately let them know that we wouldn’t be able to make it. My feeling is clarity is kindness; it was too expensive for our family of four. My BIL and SIL were sooo happy that I told them as it changed the entire plan. The parents were not happy about taking his mother and other family to Mexico, and the temperature check from family helped the kids see that maybe this isn’t the best idea after all if they wanted lots of people there.
Sometimes destination weddings are a better option. Our niece got married in North Dakota, where the couple had moved 3 years earlier. The venue was 3 hours from the airport, the majority of family members lived on the East coast. My husband and his sisters flew in to represent their families. It would’ve cost us thousands to go as a family, and it wasn’t close to anything we’d want to do or see.
Destinations make me sad. It’s this big event, and the bride/groom are essentially saying they don’t care if you can come, or not, makes no difference to them.
That being said, we were invited (but could not attend) to a beautiful wedding at the Lady Bird Johnsons wildflower center in Texas. Aboretums can be nice , and underbooked, locations.
Due to Covid concerns, I would look for affordable destinations within the US.
During Spring, Scottsdale, Arizona is nice as are Florida beach destinations such as St. Augustine, Vero Beach, Sarasota / Naples. Charleston, South Carolina is also great in Spring. The Florida Keys are interesting.
We are attending (we hope) two postponed weddings in 2022. Both are being held where the bride and groom have some attachments, but they are a destination event for everyone else attending. One is near Denver and one in NH…so not even really a nice vacation op like the one we attended in Mexico in the winter.
People don’t always get married where they grew up. Many get married in their college towns and that is always nice. Many get married where they currently live which is way far away from where they grew up.
Traveling to weddings is what happens these days.
Our kid had a “local” wedding for us…but the vast majority of her friends traveled a LONG way to come, as did my family and many friends.
Interesting. By the definition that ds1’s wedding isn’t where either of the kids grew up I suppose you could call this a destination wedding. It’s Covid-driven. The original wedding was planned in the place they were living but had to be rescheduled. Since then, they’ve moved so DIL could go to law school. So, this is a “destination” wedding for them, too. All the contracts meant they would’ve lost deposits if they didn’t reschedule so back to that town we all go. Ds2 still lives there.
i think “destination” means, to me, a venue that has no connection to the couple, or no practical value of location (couples sometimes pick a central, or neutral, location). Destination means “we picked it just because we want to go there”. Don’t mean to imply it’s terrible to do that.
S and his gf and looking into a destination wedding in Colorado (maybe - somewhere there are mountains) mainly because it is about half way between where the two family’s live. Also we have a very small family and she has a huge one and they want a wedding where each couple is equally represented, not all her family. They also want a small wedding and then spend the money on the honeymoon. Her mom may override her plans but we support them. It wouldn’t be outrageous for the people they are thinking of inviting to go. We will see as time goes on.
If you want to stay in the lower Hudson Valley, a friend and classmate of mine, who is a James Beard award winner, Craig Shelton (you can Google him), operates a wedding venue, the Mountainville Manor Craig Shelton Master Chef Hudson Valley NY Wedding Event Venue. We had our son’s graduation dinner there, a delight for every sense.
I went to an all-inclusive eco-resort (Sandos Caracol) also in the Riviera Maya area, flying into Cancun…there were several weddings that took place while we were there, and it seemed like a lovely place to do it.
The Hax column in the Washington Post Sunday had a question about destination weddings. Wow, the comments! Some said it was a way to weed out the poor. Others said it was a way to get comped for the bridal suite. There were those who said it was very unfair to the elderly or those whose health prevented them from traveling, particularly out of the country and/or in a pandemic. An invitation to a destination wedding requires guests to give up vacation time to vacation in a place not of their choosing.
You may get a lot of disappointment from family and friends with a destination wedding. Better to cut costs in other ways and then do the honeymoon at the destination.