Clearly we all like to talk weddings. 
Thought it might be fun to share details - good or bad, or nice or obnoxious of either the most simple/inexpensive wedding you’ve attended or the most extravagant details.
Preface your text with:
Simple:
or
Extravagant:
Or whatever best describes the TYPE of wedding in your eyes - this will help the reader!
Of course, “simple vs. extravagant” is in the eye of the beholder.
I don’t have a lot to contribute - I feel like most of our attended (few) weddings have been moderate. But we did attend one in the fall that the ceremony at least was simple in the most pleasant way (except for the weather - it was actually sleeting a bit!) It was outside, they provided inexpensive fleece lap blankets. The natural scenery was the decor except for one large gold “ring” that the bride and groom stood by for the ceremony. Music was literally a phone and a speaker playing a selection of hippy dippy (in the best way) boho music. It was kind of great because there were no distractions of decor or overblown flowers etc. - just the guests and the couple.
Our wedding was incredibly simple:
We were married in the venue where my husband attended punk shows, by his cousin who is a minister. We then had dinner in a local restaurant with family and friends. My dress was thrifted for $20, and hubs wore a borrowed tux. Total cost, including dinner for all of our 30 guests was $600.
Fun thread!
Simple, but just not good:
Chips and French onion dip sitting out in the 98 degree sun as the only food for “cocktail” hour, which was cash bar, and the only thing to drink that was free was warm water. H paid for a beer - also warm. No air-conditioning inside either and the food was awful. Salad looked like it had sat out and was wilted and browning. Main was unrecognizable. No thought to the seating either and we were with people our grandparents’ ages. Someone passed out from the heat and most people left before the the cake cutting. Cake was half melted by then and partially collapsed. H and I felt sick the next day, pretty sure mild food poisoning.
Simple but amazing:
Small, intimate ceremony outside on the beach at sunset. Couple wrote every word of the ceremony and vows. So personal and touching. Reception was a simple pasta dinner in a small private dining room. Moving speeches, tasteful bud vases with the bride’s favorite flowers as centerpieces, etc… Small favors for guests but reflected the personality of the couple. One of my favorite weddings of all time.
Extravagant but tacky:
Humongous wedding near NYC, over the top venue, over the top food, way too many people for the space. Could barely walk around, had to stand for the ceremony and couldn’t hear a thing. People eating and drinking during the ceremony didn’t help. Music was so loud we couldn’t speak to the people at our table. Felt like an impersonal event to flaunt wealth.
Extravagant but lovely:
Castle wedding. The wedding party had the whole castle just for us. Amazing use of the space so that guests could experience the entire first floor. Cocktails in one area, dinner in another, whiskey bar in the library, big band in the ballroom, jazz band on the veranda, etc…Food was outstanding and elegant, and we could still feel the stamp of the bride and groom on every detail. Small enough wedding that we had good time with the bride and groom, could mingle, and actually it felt like a tiny wedding in such a big space.
Most memorable wedding:
Destination wedding in Europe for our college best friend, in the town where his wife grew up and they were living. A small number of us came over from the US and made a vacation out of it. The bride and groom arranged all kinds of fun day trips for us from a behind the scenes tour of a cathedral, to a private bus for wine tastings, to site seeing in neighboring towns and villages. They coordinated the wedding to a big fiesta in their town so we could all attend. Wedding itself was gorgeous as well. Incredible old, post and beam building dating back hundreds of years with amazing food and wine. Felt like a week long celebration with the bride and groom as they joined in on everything.
My take away - $ is not what makes a great wedding.
As an aside, my D, who isn’t even in a relationship, has already said she wants to elope on the top of a mountain and then have a blow out party at a brew pub ; ). I’m sure she will make it super personal…when the time comes…someday!
The thrifted or second hand wedding dresses - even very simple ones - have been among the most pretty I have seen!
I loved reading these. I want to attend the beach and castle weddings!
Simple: My nephew got married a few years ago. They already had a 2 year old son. They rented a local place for $900 (or so it costs now) for the ~50 people in attendance. My SIL made all of the decorations and the finger food for the reception. I don’t think there were any bridesmaids or anything. A friend married them. I don’t recall a wedding dress. It may have just been a regular one.
Most extravagant: Older S was recently in his first wedding. He estimates the Father of the Bride spent $350-400K on it. He said the flowers were $30,000. But they also paid for the entire wedding party and family to stay in a very fancy hotel for 2 nights plus all meals in the hotel restaurant. And they had a videographer and 2 photographers following everyone around for two solid days.
Ours was on the simpler side. I know my dress was $500, but the flowers and photographer were each $800. That floored me. The reception was in a catering place, but it was a simple shell building, much like a church rec room. There was no alcohol or DJ or dancing. Just finger food and a cake. Oh, and my ring was $29. I love that. Just a simple band.
Extravagant:
One of the most extravagant weddings I attended was a month or two prior to my own. The rehearsal dinner was at the Waldorf-Astoria and the wedding reception at a tony place elsewhere. Gorgeous wedding dress (from the Say Yes to the Dress place), gorgeous flowers, and everything was very elegant and tasteful. Nothing that was super “showy” but there was little doubt it was an expensive (6-figure) wedding. I did make sure to warn friends who were attending that party that this wedding experience would be substantially different than mine.
Simple:
Mine was held in the church fellowship hall with bbq food and a DJ, and the string lights ended up falling just as the reception was starting! There were also no flowers (but there were candles). But the dance floor was busy most of the night, and the DJ told our wedding photographer he never could have imagined people having so much fun at a dry wedding. We’d also had our rehearsal dinner at a bowling alley (with nearly everyone from the wedding invited) and did a few other events with smaller groups of wedding guests, as nearly everyone was from out-of-town.
Simple:
Two of my favorite weddings were of my sisters’. Both were held in backyards, at least one had a dj (I think the other one may have been an iPod/cd connected to speakers), and there was lots of interaction between the guests and I spent much of my time on the dance floor, as well. At one of the sisters’ wedding it was very small and most of the people were staying at the brides’ house (so sleeping on couches, floors, etc). Even though I had never met many of the people prior to that weekend, we had a lot of bonding experiences and felt very close to the other guests by the time the wedding rolled around.
TL;DR: So for me, dancing is obviously an important component of weddings, but so is the ability to spend a lot of time and bonding with other guests.
Simple: Wedding in Montreal. The bride was Polish. There is a tradition. Every single woman must dance with every single man. You REALLY can’t get out of it or make excuses. I don’t speak Polish either. They ran out of glasses and the food was simple and authentic.
Extravagant: My sister’s at Rosecliff in Newport. Black tie, lots of showiness. Not fun for any but the Wall Street set. Seemed really contrived. Based on this wedding, I did things really simply and thought of how guests would feel about things.
Most memorable/weirdest: Covid online wedding. The bride decided that her mom could not make it from FL, so grooms mother and father weren’t allowed in person either. They watched from home. Everyone watched the wedding online. Then there was a cocktail reception where the brides mom talked incessantly and no one could get in a word. We couldn’t drop out or put it on no screen share. Had to sit there without rolling our eyes for 2 hours. Zoom wedding. They also got married recently in person. More of the same. Just glad I don’t have to go to another one of their weddings. OMG.
Most simple: my college friend rented out a town community center, made her own dress, and the dinner was a pot-luck buffet. My friend, I, and a bunch of her family decorated the community center with balloons and stringers. She did pay a DJ. It was a wonderful, small town event, where the community pitched in and it was such a happy event.
worst extravagant: my friend’s parents were strapped for cash, yet felt strongly that it was their obligation to throw a party to remember. There were 3 videographers and 2 photographers, 2 rented coach busses to bring guests from the church to the reception and back, expensive Long Island catering hall with more food than you could imagine, a 10 piece band PLUS a DJ for when the band was on break, extravagant flowers, and 8 bridesmaids (& 8 groomsmen), so 2 huge limos for the wedding party. Knowing that the parents were struggling to pay real estate taxes, and were down to one 15 year old beater car, it just felt so very wrong. Besides that the videographers & photographers were all over the place and you felt like it was the papparazi and were getting shoved aside.
best extravagant: a catering hall in northern NJ, where the food kept coming and coming. The food was unbelievably delicious, and the reception was super long (6 hours?) so you could digest a little to “just take one more bite”. The band was excellent, and everyone had a super fun time. Normally I would think this kind of event is wasteful, but everyone was so happy and the drinks were flowing.
Simple and possibly best : at the campfire site overlooking a lake at a camp where the couple had been counselors. In the morning, the bride had taken all of her guests for a hike. Preparations were basically “wash your hair”. So true to who they were. Really just perfect!
Simplest: My niece didn’t want to spend much money, but she wanted everyone to join in her day. Wedding & reception at groom’s dad’s church - he was the minister, so no money involved. Bride & her sister bought a bunch of white carnations at the farmers market & made simple corsages/boutonnières with a single flower each. Very simple bouquets of carnations. She got her dress at a sample sale for $29. Reception was baked goods that bride, her mom & her sister made - plus make your own sundaes with very simple toppings. It suited my niece well, and everyone had a lovely afternoon. It was 10 days before my dad died, and the memories we all have from him at the wedding are priceless.
I’ve never been to a really extravagant wedding.
Extravagant, but lovely - couple got married at the Mirabeau Inn and Spa, in the Finger Lakes region of NY. They had a very simple/short ceremony on a bridge, and people stood around watching from multiple places. They had an amazing assortment of food (cheese station, maybe a seafood station, I really can’t remember it all) and lots of good quality wine. It was not sit down, but they had tables, both high top w/out chairs and regular sized, that people could use. The night before they had a dinner for everyone, and it was also very good. Food kept coming and coming. The couple hired a bus to take people from the off-site hotel (not everyone wanted to pay the rate at the Inn), so people didn’t have to worry about drinking and driving. They are an older couple, and at least he is Irish. They hired Irish dancers to come and perform. They also had dancing, but I don’t remember much about it.
Simple - When I got married the second time, we had fewer than 10 people at our actual wedding. At a later date, friends had a very informal barbecue type party for several of our friends (maybe 30 people invited total). It was very low key, there were lots of kids running around, and everyone had fun/could come and go as they pleased.
Simplest weddings:
-My sister got married in July of 2020 via zoom. They invited their adult kids to an Airbnb with a pool. My sis wore a sundress and her new husband wore a short sleeved shirt. My close relative married them at the dining room table. Whole thing lasted maybe 5 minutes. No decor or wedding food. They looked like they were having fun.
-Niece got married via zoom. Two witnesses. She was thrilled because she wanted a snowy wedding in the woods of the PNW, and it miraculously snowed the night before. Probably 15 minutes total because they both had a lot to say before taking vows. She had amazing photos of her and her new hubby in the snowy woods.
-Couple got married and asked about ten people to meet them at Canter’s Deli in Beverly Hills. Everyone bought their own meal.
Trying to be extravagant, but just bad:
-a close relative had a hotel wedding. The father insisted on inviting a bunch of his friends. 3 tables’ worth of his friends didn’t show up. Totally depressing for the person who got married and a horrible waste of money.
-I was the plus one invited to attend an acquaintance’s wedding. We were all mostly in our 20’s so it should have been a lot of fun. The mood was depressing. The bride and groom danced to Jeremy by Pearl Jam. It was all over by 10 pm. It didn’t feel like a wedding at all.
Extravagant and pretty good:
My relative got married at the Ritz-Carlton Laguna Niguel. A couple of celebrities were there. It was cool to be in a swanky hotel and feel really posh, even if I experienced impostor syndrome.
-Most fun:
My wedding, if I do say so myself. It was pretty budget friendly, maybe about $6000 total. We asked everyone to tell us a song they wanted in advance and my hubby made a mix tape of all those songs, played over the venue’s stereo system. The food was excellent. Table decor was out of our budget, but the caterer provided cut flowers anyway. We asked people to wear clothing of a particular era and many obliged, and we gave a prize box of chocolates to the best costume. We danced on a rooftop in downtown Los Angeles.
It’s hard to beat any English country wedding.
Extravagant: Boss’s daughter got married at age 41. MOB never thought it would happen, so she threw the vault wide open. Lovely event at Calistoga Ranch (which subsequently burned down in wildfire that hit Napa…). Exquisite catering, fabulous wine (Boss is a connoisseur) as in Veuve Cliquot champagne, Chateau Lafite Rothschild red, etc. Many courses, many wine glasses. And the flowers…omg. MOB spent > $40K on flowers. And this was a relatively small wedding --maybe 80 people total. (and there were probably just as many staff making sure our every need was met.)
Tasteful and classy…it was fun living in that world for a day!
The most extravagant wedding I attended would probably be just a normal wedding for some. The couple had their wedding at a home in the TX Hill country with beautiful views, there was lots of beer, wine, and BBQ. They also had a great local country band.
The simplest wedding, my friend had her reception at her parents backyard, they had great Mexican food that her mom and mil made.
Our wedding was beyond simple. It was at a friend’s home. About 30 people. Appetizers and a champagne punch served to all. A friend took pictures and handed us rolls of film. Music was played on the friend’s cassette deck in their stereo system. Flowers were cut from a friends garden. Another friend made a delicious carrot cake as a gift to us.
I will say…someone brought cases of beer…not us. In almost every picture, someone is holding a can of beer.
Simple:
My one friend had 3 bars at his wedding. A taco bar, a pasta bar, and a mac and cheese bar. They had like a hundred different toppings that you could put on each food… for example, at mac and cheese, they even had broken up dorito chips that you could throw in.
Extravagant: My other friend did a masquerade themed wedding. They had very expensive masks on. I wear glasses, so having a masquerade mask didn’t really work for me. That wedding was also north of $100/pp and they had hundreds of people there.
Mine will probably be the most simple of them all. We want to have a picnic catered by food trucks.
Weird mix of expensive and cheap: Large wedding at a fancy country club with plenty of extras (very beautiful centerpieces, large band, fancy programs on super-thick stationary, extra violinist during cocktail hour, Rolls Royce for bride & groom, etc etc). Cash bar. (Not for philosophical reasons related to alcohol consumption; groom later told my husband it was to save money). Ha ha, husband had to run out to car to fetch his wallet which he had left in the glove box, not thinking it would be needed. To me, it would have been better to reign in the very large guest count, think twice about pricey venue, or cut back on other extras, rather than have guests to pay for part of the evening. But we didn’t mind—it was worth it for a few giggles.
Two of the more simple weddings that stand out as wonderful…one was in a wedding barn in Boulder Co - I don’t think it was an inexpensive venue but the buffet was Chipotle! And it was really good! (The bride worked at Chipotle corporate office.) It was kind of nice to not be stuffed. Beautiful space and views and lots of fun dancing. Great wedding. Another friend had his second wedding in their backyard as all the azaleas were blooming. So pretty! Small but elegant. They said they poured the wedding money into landscaping the backyard so they would enjoy it forever. Smart!
Extravagant weddings…my husband’s cousin is the sweetest young woman and she married into a big, super-Italian family. I think it might have been the first more traditional Italian wedding I’ve ever been to? She had an older man who sang and danced with us, he got all the mamas out on the dance floor. Was very sweet! Basically everything at the wedding was turned up to 11 a la Spinal Tap. The food was incredible, it was at a beautiful country club, lovely setting, great band. But what I really loved was that on the way out they had set up a coffee bar with pork roll, egg and cheese sandwiches for the road! Such a fun little touch. I would like one of those sandwiches now…