I wrote about how I believe people need to start being able to help themselves more than relying on others with their mental problems to strengthen themselves and how neuroscience can develop methods and tools they need to do so and used my parents divorce as an example, is this too risky? I already submitted my college and also i don’t really have any adults i know that are super educated to read my essay.
The purpose of that essay is to reveal more about your personality and character to admissions. Not sure that comes through in your description. And if you come across as lacking empathy for others, that might rub some admissions readers the wrong way. If you are applying to more colleges, you might ask people on CCs list of readers to take a look before submitting it to more schools.
Your choice of topic could be interpreted in multiple ways. As mentioned above, it could imply that you lack empathy. However, that is very dependent upon the exact wording you used and the angle you took. If you focused on the prevalence of reliance on others to solve mental problems, it would be easy to interpret that as a lack of empathy. However, if the majority of your essay is spent focusing on the benefits of helping oneself and the usefulness of neuroscience for this, then it seems more encouraging and helpful for anyone with mental problems. If you have more applications to submit, take another look at the essay and see how much time you spend talking about each idea. Whichever idea you believe is most important and best conveys your stance on the topic should be the one that you spend the most time on.
Presumably people can both rely on others and turn to themselves when faced with challenges. I wouldn’t suggest that you should be saying that one is better than the other. Also “mental problems” should be replaced with some other phrase.
@CheddarcheeseMN Agreed. Perhaps- Mental health issues
The essay isn’t where you expound on a belief or opinion. Nothing you can do about essays already submitted. Let’s hope your wording was fair and showed you in a positive light.
@lookingforward @intparent @PorcupineQuinn @oscar63 @CheddarcheeseMN thank you for the responses, i believe i described my essay very badly, I’ve you want i can send you my essay and the prompt and you can see for yourselves, i think it described me well and i worded it in a way that if people want to help other the first step is helping themselves
At this point, it’s already been submitted, right? So there’s no point in debating what you wrote or should have written.
If you’re not comfortable with it, write another essay and apply elsewhere.