@compmom not all schools give the students a letter for each of their professors. The local state school gives the student an ADA ID card which they are supposed to show to their professors, that’s it. It is up to the student to tell the prof what is needed. On the other hand my daughter received a letter addressed to each professor which clearly stated any accommodations that she would need for each class. Basically the disabilites office did one letter with her name and accommodations then filled in a profs name and printed. One letter for four years. Less work for the disabilities office and it worked just fine since nothing changed.
Agree with Thumper. The lecture hall where a class usually takes place has a leaky ceiling- class gets moved to a building which is too far for a kid with mobility issues to get to after her last lab. The final was supposed to be given in an auditorium which is quiet AND near the restrooms… but the heat goes out so the class gets divided into two to take the final in two different rooms; the procter for the secondary exam room doesn’t know your kid gets accomodations for bathroom break. Dorm gets emptied out one Sunday due to a bed bug infestation and the kids aren’t allowed back for 48 hours- and your kid has to triple up until the dorm reopens.
Stuff happens. Literally- every week stuff happens, and your kid needs to be able to manage the conversations with Deans, professors, TA’s, administrators, dieticians, the receptionist at Student Health who makes the emergency appointments, etc.
I’d be super impressed with a college that admitted up front “we can’t predict every thing that can go wrong but we will work with your student to make it right”, vs. the college that claims to have a perfect track record.
The need to self advocate is a big one and an important lesson to teach your student that needs accommodations. Others are correct, the school will not, doesn’t want to and mostly cannot talk with the parent. I’ve had a number of conversations with my kids about what they need and how to ask for it. During HS, both my kids would decline accommodations at times. I tried to teach them that they should take the accommodations. Often what they declined was extra testing time and with very weak and at times barely functioning hands, the time was needed. I needed to teach them that they work harder than the other students every day for even simple tasks, and they should not feel bad accepting an accommodation such as extra testing time even if they could ‘get by’ with the normal time. They have so many other challenges, that accepting the simple accommodation doesn’t give them a ‘net’ edge over the other students (for example, maybe they lost study time as they had to figure out how to get the scribed notes or recorded lecture). This was a lesson they had to learn.
Blossom, you are describing things that happen that cannot be controlled. and that is exactly why I don’t think we can tell before enrolling, what the experience is going to be. I love this comment:
I’d be super impressed with a college that admitted up front “we can’t predict every thing that can go wrong but we will work with your student to make it right”, vs. the college that claims to have a perfect track record.
Gloria, the contents of letters are often the same as an ID card!
Our kids need to understand the concept of a level playing field, just as much as the folks at the schools do. So many refuse accommodations despite challenges every day.
" the contents of letters are often the same as an ID card!" Interesting compmom since the ID’s that I have seen only have the students picture, name and that they are ADA nothing about what the disability is or what the accommodations are while the letters clearly state what accommodations are needed.
Wow everyone…thank you for all the great advice and discussion. It is a lot to think about. With another visit to the school an hour away , our son is leaning toward the school 3 hours away based on the programming in his field of interest, not the information from the disabilities services. With ASD, it is difficult to know what would be the best case scenario…it sounded like this school could accommodate the single easily, but would be isolated from other freshmen if in a suite or apartment style living arrangement with only a few sharing a bathroom since that is only offered to upperclassmen. Son claims to not be interested in socializing but thinks he could handle a community-style bathroom in a traditional hall if he had a single room and as one poster mentioned maybe that could be the better situation. The UC brings up issues of lowered immunity and I thought sharing facilities with fewer people could help, but he is going to come in contact with lots of people daily regardless. It will be interesting to see what pediatrician, therapist and gastroenterologist will have to say about accommodation needs.
@compmom-I did advocate for son after removing him from public hs…complaint to US Dept of Education…felt like a full time job trying to make a difference. The school had to change policies, the advocacy group that gave me advice was great, but it was also a lot of work for me, just to try to make a difference that would not help my student much, but hopefully help someone else not go through what he did…Thank you for trailblazing at the college level and hopefully it made a difference for your student and will help those after.
Gloria no in schools we have dealt with the letters do not list accommodations. They just state that the student is registered. Then the student speaks to the professors and discloses whatever he or she is willing to disclose and negotiates. When accommodations are needed, often suppport from a provider and a dean or advisor is essential. It can be quite complicated.
Lotus1 it is great that your son is choosing based on programming in his area of interest. I hope he can make it work. That is the “right” I was referring to. For a parent like you, who has already had to advocate, suppprting a choice based on academics takes courage. I will tell you that once his allies in the administration and department are identified, college accommodations can be smoother than high school. ( I also had the Feds involved at high school!). Good luck! ( sorry for phone typing. My computer is glitching.)
@thumper-last ASD diagnosis 2016 by ASD specialist, since then son has seen therapist throughout the year and pediatrician every 6 months for eval for med check. I am having both of them complete forms, having gastroenterologist write letter, supplying my own list of accommodations I think are important and why. We will see the therapist on Wednesday. I received confirmation last night from #1 school choice that ASD diagnosis paperwork should be good for all 4 years. We lost valuable time on diagnosis when we didn’t realize we needed to get a specialist involved. We voiced concerns about potential Autism to school and pediatrician, but they did not seem to recognize what he had as Autism. Thankfully, someone who had a son on the spectrum directed us to a specialist in Autism to make the diagnosis.
All great suggestions . Additional thoughts:
- I disagree with not having your son’s illness and disability services being a factor in what college he chooses. Having a medically sick student away from home for the first time and all the other things that go along with freshman year in college is not always the best time to be a trail-blazer. As much as I’ll get in there and do battle with anyone, that is not something I would wish on my medically-fragile 18 yr old. Especially with a diagnosis as unpredictable as UC.
These young adults are experiencing some of these life choices for the first time - they do not have the 20 - 30 year experience that we, their parents , have in being self advocates. That will come with time but first semester freshman year of college is tough enough.
Being away from home, academic challenges, social challenges, dietary changes, sleeplessness etc can be change enough - you don’t want them wasting time fighting for needed accommodations at the same time.
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Agree with actually writing the template for the letter that your son’s medical practitioner will need to submit to the disability office. The medical office will thank you and you’ll be sure to get what your son needs.
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Wherever he goes, have him contact the disabilities office at the beginning of the summer to have time to fill out necessary forms, submit letters, and wait for their reply.
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If possible, find out how long the head of the disabilities office has been in that position. It’s not a high priority or well-compensated position at some schools and the turnover is high. As well-meaning as the office staff is, sometimes they’re learning the job as they go and that can also lead to needless headaches.
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If he chooses the school that is 3 hours away, use the summer before to get an appointment with a medical specialist close to school that he can get to and have him find out exactly what number to call and who to reach in case of illness or questions at night and on the weekends.
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Consider balancing the need for socializing and friendships with the need for privacy and bathroom access. Single room makes sense - ideally with a private bathroom - and ideally in the freshman dorm !! Even though it isn’t advertised - most newer construction dorms have several rooms like this for exactly this situation.
Best of luck to him.
Distance from home may be more important than the quality of the disabilities office. I don’t want to beat a dead horse but disability office are not often the real source of help. Instead, you have to ascertain the more informal, and more effective system for accommodations at each school, and that is difficult before actually attending. I would take care not to evaluate schools based on the disabilities office.
Another thing to think about is whether the school will work with the parent at all. I certainly had to nudge things and the administration welcomed it because the need was clear and the situation occasionally dire. In that sense, I continued my role as training wheels and my kids were not just thrown on their own.
If school A has the academic program a student wants, and that is what is important to the student, then I again maintain that should be a main factor, just as it is for anyone without a disability- the intent of the law. It is not as onerous to make things happen as people seem to think. Last post from me, don’t want to repeat myself too any times!
@az1001-glad to hear you an previous poster approving of template letter to doctors. I had already written those and my opinions about the questions on the form since I see him daily, but didn’t know if that made me look like I was trying to manipulate the situation. I included a statement that I listed my observations/opinions but realized that they may not agree with them and may not be there observations based on their notes, etc, but hopefully they will see this information for what it is. Pediatrician probably sees him about 20 minutes/twice a year. Therapist saw him more in the early years, now going once a month or less in school year so that he can focus on school work…time just gets away from him.
@compmom-hope you will come back to this post if you have more comments. I have read your posts (and some of the others who posted here) over the years. I have benefited a lot from reading posts of others and learning.
After S got his acceptances, I (the mom) called each of our he schools he was accepted at and asked them how they would work with the student and explained that due to his documented medical chronic health issues he has sometimes had frequent and prolonged absences. 2 of the 3 schools said they’d be happy to work with us, as they had with other similarly situated students. The 3rd school said he’d likely have to withdraw and lose his generous merit awards. We tossed that 3rd school’s acceptance into the trash and told their admissions folks why.
We continued to dialog with the other two Us and when we went to the campus 2 weeks prior to move-I. Day, we all went in and met with the director of disabilities—us, our freshman S our HS D. He was very welcoming and reassuring. We also had appointments with 3 different MDs at the nearby u iversity medical center, so S could see someone if his medical needs exceeded the modest abilities of the health center.
We only committed to and deposited at one U, which S was pleased to attend and worked well with to be sure he had a positive experience. He was so happy there, D applied and attended the same U and we repeated he process when she was enrolling, complete with meeting 3 MDs at the U Med center.
Our kids didn’t have the same medical issues as yours, but they both do/did have serious chronic medical issues for nearly a decade before they started college.
Oh dear, phone typing causes problems. Way back, I meant. " No schools that provided letters in our experience, listed accommodations in those letters. The letters just stated they had registered with the DOD."
I meant last post on the issue of choosing or not choosing a school based on DOD policies! Hard to get rid of me 
Decades of dealing with this stuff, like many of you, and it seems good to try to put it to use if ever possible, whether others agree or not. So…
I always wrote a template with a list of accommodations after researching. I have never had any professional have a problem with that, but they seem grateful actually. I joke that they can put it in medicalese if they like.
When one of my kids had prolonged absences, she herself chose to take a leave. There is a point at which we just wouldn’t expect or want accommodations for that, even though she had them in high school. She took two medical leaves. (Tuition insurance, folks!) And reduced course loads can do wonders.
Some actually make you reapply for admission if you are sick for more than two weeks I really think that calls for a medical leave but not expulsion and if we ran into that, we would probably fight it. And those merit awards should be reinstated when the kid comes back.
Many of the onerous reentry requirements were meant for psychiatric leaves. Many "medical " leaves are for psychiatric or emotional reasons. We felt that didn’t really fit a chronic illness that has flares and remissions etc. In the end my kid did not have to work full-time before going back, as the paperwork said, but had to meet with the university doctor, which we felt was appropriate.
1LOtus I PM’ed you.
Hi all. Stumbled across this thread and thought where was this when my daughter had applied??? ? Lots of good information here. I’ll just give you my experience. My D just finished her first semester at a college about an hour and 1/2 away.
She has a physical disability, not so much cognitive or any of the health issues listed above, but we did have to go through the disability department at each school to obtain accommodations. Our experience wasn’t as daunting. She had two schools she was looking into. She needed to have her own room with her own bathroom, which, as someone wrote above, the single bathroom is much more difficult to come by than the single bedroom. One college said that they couldn’t accommodate because of the way the dorms were structured. The other college didn’t bat an eye when we asked for a private bathroom. In fact they said they would do everything they needed to do in order for my D to be able to go there. It was like they were applying to have her lol. Anyway, decision made. They even said that after the May 1st deadline passed and it turned out that D would not be able to attend for whatever reason, they would give us our deposit back.
We spent the majority of the summer on phone calls, visiting the college with D to check out dorms with the head of housing to find out if there was anything else that was needed in her dorm, i.e. grab rails, lowering of closet hangers, etc. We met with some of her professors in her major to find out what her schedule would be like and an academic advisor who actually made her schedule to accommodate her daily medical needs. They were amazing to say the least. Also, after all the paperwork and doctors notes were done, we had a plan written up for our daughter that went to all of her professors with her accommodations. The first page was the general name, ID and 504 rules, but attached was a list of D’s accommodations specific to her. She can add things to them and take out stuff anytime at her discretion. The letters were emailed to all her professors, cc’d to my D, and they had to respond that they received the letter so there was no question if someone received it or not.
The college does promote self-advocacy a lot with the students. I agree that this is a very difficult time for students as it it their first time living away from home and being completely indepentent. My D is very shy and speaking out isn’t one of her strong suits. By the time she was finished with high school, I didn’t have to make a peep. She was very self sufficient. But she had 12 years to get there. Now she’s in a new school, in a new state, living away from home, and knows no one. This can be debilitating for any college freshman, let alone someone who has a whole slew of challenges, physical or not! So there is a little hand holding going on, which I know will subside as time goes on. It already has. Things like, “mom, this happened, or this didn’t happen…”. I would just tell her who to email about it and what to say. The college does work with the parents as well so it’s not like they’re throwing her to the wolves. We are a team.
We spent, the better part of the summer, and pretty much her whole senior year, preparing her for total independence. She was pretty independent as it was, but there were some things that I helped her out with or whatever just to save time, and well, we’re moms right?? So she got some occupational therapy for some help, we also got her a power assist for her wheel chair. She walks most of the time, but those long treks between classes can be exhausting, and time consumming, even with her wheel chair. It has been a Godsend getting that.
But with all this preparation, and she did A LOT of it, there were some blips along the way. I remember during our last meeting in the summer with her dissabilty advisor before move in weekend, she looked right at my D and told her that she was going to have some bad days. And that it was going to be ok. And she did have some bad days! The first two weeks, I was wondering if we did the right thing by letting her go to college out of state. Maybe it was too soon for her. But she had a lot of good days too. And the bad days got less and less as time went by. One day was particularly awful, and the only thing I could think to tell her was, if college was this bad all the time, no one would go lol. So no matter how prepared you think you are, there will be blips. But the college was right on top of everything and the blips didn’t last.
Good luck with your son and his college decisions. I think since he has been accepted, you can certainly find out now about what accomodations they will give him before having to make that desposit. And you don’t need to mention any other schools.
Oh, and after her first semester in college, my D loves it! She’s done remarkably well and made some great friends. Total about face from her first two weeks. ?
Also, having her own dorm does have its down side as some comments listed above. Yes she is a little isolated as she does’nt have a roomate where a lot of connections are made. But she has made a lot of friends in her major and next year the sophmores move into suites so she will be able to request a room near some of those friends which will help. But, having her own room/bathroom does have its perks as well. She has the space and privacy whenever she needs it, and when everyone around her was getting sick with colds, etc., she stayed healthy. Big perk in my eyes ?
@adoptdontshop well said. You can tell the difference between a school that really cares about it’s students and those who don’t. I hope the OP finds a caring school.
I took it as a great sign when two of the 3 schools S was considering said they had several students with S’s condition and they provided appropriate support and all of them did just fine at their Us. The U that threatened to have S withdraw was tossed into the trash as unneeded stress.
adoptdontshop, disabilities offices function best for accommodating physical disabilities, especially those that are visible. In fact, at some schools, that is their specific function (and this can include, say, filters for lights for someone with lupus) and the academic side of accommodations is handled more, in reality anyway, by deans and dept. heads.
Hope everyone finds a school that works for them and thrives as best they can.
Even without disabilities, I would be worried about this student. Homeschooled with very little peer interaction and no clear indicia of independence would be a challenging transition for anyone. Good luck.
I’ve never had a parent supply me with a template for a letter about their child’s disability. How nice of you both.
What is helpful is that I’ve worked with people at the local colleges so I have an idea of what is offered. One local college built new dorms with suites, including a kitchen, and private bathrooms. They also have many singles.