<p>At the begiinning of my son's search process, he was wide open to any location, but as time went on the radius collapsed. Now he's down to one college 7 hours from home, another 6 hours from home, and a third a little more than an 1 hr from home. Although my son traveled lots for athletic competitions, he's still a homebody. Guess which college will win?</p>
<p>I know about 15 kids from our area who opted to stay close to home. It makes a lot of sense for a lot of reasons. It all depends on the child.</p>
<p>I live about 12-14 from home, and am dealing with it just fine. What's interesting is that I actually only went to school 30 miles away from the city I grew up. However just two days after moving me into the dorms, my family moved a quarter of the way across the country.</p>
<p>well i am having the same problems now, i initially in college search applied to only one school that was more then two hours away, and coincidentally that is the school i ended up at. Academically its very good, but i find myself wishing all the time that i could just come home-at least on the weekends. Not that i need to go to my parents with every problem, i def was not like that in hs and am not like that now- i think its just the need to have that support system, feeling of comfort and home close by if i need it- that's one reason why i am actually highly considering transferring to a school in the city where i can have that option</p>
<p>Our son chose a school in the NE and we are in the southwest. The upside: he has no car there(and doesnt need one) so I don't worry about him being on the road. He is being exposed to a totally different environment than the one he grew up in- weather, people, food, etc and the school is such a match for him.
The downside? Not being able to come home for any high school events of his little brother's( they are the only 2 kids) and the expense of traveling by flight. However, we just use a visa that racks up miles, so we haven't had to pay for a ticket yet. We did go up for parents weekend and to move him in and I suspect I may have to fly up to help get all his stuff home that isn't stored in the residential college over the summer.
I miss him terribly and yet, he is growing and maturing in ways that I am so proud of.</p>
<p>I was 800 miles away, and my parents' home is two hours drive from an airport. </p>
<p>We had some of the same issues kathiep mentioned--my parents couldn't move me in or out (they are both educators and those were their busiest work times) and my sister never saw my campus. I didn't come home for Thanksgiving every year--too much hassle for too short a time. Had a great time going home with my roommate, though. </p>
<p>I had one big hassle, and that was getting chicken pox days before finals. The campus cleared out and I was still there scratching my spots and taking my exams late. It was a bummer being so far from my parents, but what could they have really done, anyway?</p>
<p>The big drawback for me was that because I didn't see my family much during the school year, I felt obligated to go home at spring break and be home nearly all summer. That's wasn't a hardship, exactly (I wanted to see my family, and missed them!), but it might have been nice to take a typical spring break trip, or to pursue an internship some summer. If I had more trips home throughout the year I might have felt more comfortable with making those choices.</p>
<p>On the other hand, some of my hallmates lived but a few hours from home and didn't see their families much more often than I did.</p>
<p>I followed William O. Douglas' advice and went east for college all the way from Seattle, in a time when not many of the 'national' airlines flew directly into Washington State from the east.</p>
<p>My parents never questioned or hindered my choice. Only years later did I learn that mother was quite worried the entire summer before I got on the plane as a soon-to-be freshman.</p>
<p>Parents, it's usually best to let your children decided such things for themselves.</p>
<p>One unfortunate casualty of our wish to have the world at our kid's feet, can be the concept of a close extended family. I know a lot of people whose kids went to school across the country, met and married someone who is from that area. The distance can seem worse since the spouse's family is so local. Say what you want about giving your kids choices (and I do) but it does come at a cost sometimes.</p>
<p>It's not as if they're moving to a new continent in the Age of Sail or even Out West in the days after the Civil War. No, they may not be able to come together for a group dinner on Sundays at grandma's. But I don't think it diminishes the closeness. As with many things, someone may have to make an extra effort and that someone might be you. Probably both sides.</p>
<p>Shutterbug, if you don't want to move his stuff home every summer, look into having him put it in a storage place for the summer. There are usually places near colleges that will rent for summer break, and I bet he can find other students to join in, greatly reducing the cost.</p>
<p>With cell phones and email, it's so easy to stay in touch. We all miss our son and he misses us, but we talk at least once a week and send emails several times a week. I doubt he'll ever move back home, so we've just decided to figure out ways to see him when we can. </p>
<p>I lived overseas for several years in the days before email and cheap phone calls. I called home once a year and wrote lots of letters. My parents and I have managed to stay close all these years, even though we've never lived less than 6 hours apart.</p>
<p>It came down to the schools that fit me or the schools that were close to me--all of the schools that really fit were over 1000 miles away. I do really wish that my school were closer to home, but c'est la vie. Flying home, especially around the holidays, is such a pain, and sometimes you'd just like to go home for a weekend, but flying both ways is too expensive and too much of a hassle. Don't sacrifice fit of a school for proximity to home, but if you can have both--I advise you to take it.</p>
<p>My family lives in Georgia, my older brother goes to school in Florida, I go to school in NYC, and my younger brother has just informed my parents that he is looking at schools in California--scattering to the four corners of the earth or at least the US.</p>
<p>I think it's important to consider your child's life experiences to date and his personality before assuming that a 1000 mile distance is no problem. My first son went 700 plus miles away, to what can only be described as a different culture, and knew absolutely nobody in the state or college. That was a tough one for him. He was susceptible to all groups - frat rushes, whatever -and, of course, he desperately needed a group to hang out with - a place to "belong". I think the transition would have been much easier for him if he had been able to come home a few times - to get back in touch with himself. It sure would have been easier for his parents! Well, he is happy there now but we wish we had insisted that he remain closer. I will not let son#2 go further than 200 miles. If your student wants to go very far - I would ask how independent he/she is, how much problem solving he/she has done and how he/she will respond to having to touchstones at all. They can expand their worlds gradually, as well as immediately........</p>
<p>Thanks, Rileydog and others. We have flip-flopped a bit on this and really appreciate everyone's advice. We have agreed to look at the schools in Maine and Virginia and those in between (we are in NY) and will just have to take it from there. There will be so many issues to weigh before applications are done next year!</p>
<p>There is a lot of educational value in going to college, or at least grad school, in another region of the county. It may even make it more likely that the student will move back home eventually. Otherwise, the broadening experience may be a job move or come when it's time to get married.</p>
<p>That said, being near major airports is convenient, as is being on the same coast.</p>
<p>Swimming upstream, I think that helping a teenager become self-contained and not be dependent upon a group affiliation is part of the maturing process.</p>
<p>My son is only applying to schools which are a minimum of 5 hours flight from HI & at most an all day with two+ plane changes. Hard to say where he'll end up, but we'll let him choose where he thinks he'll be happiest.</p>
<p>When I went to college & grad school (6 years in OR & CA), I only came home for summers & only because my parents insisted--no regrets. Similarly, my sibblings all went to grad schools in OR, CA, MI & MA & all only came home for summers. We all ended up living in HI to raise our families & have our careers. We all were satisfied with our choice of schools.</p>