<p>This could easily happen if the guidance counselor or even one of the teachers selected to write LORs gets the impression the student is so lacking in the initiative department by junior/senior year that the parent is pushing in areas the GC/teacher feels should be student-driven. Especially if the student concerned is aiming for the elite colleges. </p>
<p>There were a few GCs like this at my HS including the one I had. While he was reasonably knowledgable about competitive colleges and such, any suggestion of a parent meeting with him alone like this would likely be regarded by him as the actions of a micromanaging parent at best…or a student seriously lacking in the initiative department if said student initiated the idea. The latter would certainly hurt when he writes up the GC report to the colleges. </p>
<p>My HS was a public magnet where there were several GCs spread around a graduating class which ranged from 600-700+ when I attended. Prevailing practice was students were assigned a GC and there were a few mandatory scheduled meetings starting in the junior year. Parental requests for meetings were unheard of when I attended. Especially considering most parents wouldn’t have had the time due to work, cultural/language barriers, parental expectations junior/senior HS students should be mature enough to handle it themselves, most students living a fair distance from campus*, etc. </p>
<ul>
<li>Students commutes averaged around an hour with some hitting 2+ hours each way on public transit from every borough of NYC.<br></li>
</ul>
<p>For D1, we did have a 1:1 with the GC, but it certainly wasn’t this time of year, when her focus was still on the college process for seniors. I think it was in June of junior year, just after graduation- and maybe 20 minutes. She had already met with D1 that spring, to understand her interests. The reason we met alone was to understand a bit about why she had suggested certain colleges, get her impressions of chances. D1 knew her college major and it was important we not spin our wheels. </p>
<p>Each hs has its own strengths and weaknesses in terms of how much you can work with the GC. Imo, if you feel the need to meet, you have to work around their priorities. Agree that there’s a difference between parents who are engaged versus those who try to pilot. </p>
<p>I usually don’t think it’s necessary for the parents to meet the GC without the child unless there is something private the parents want the GC to know, or a big parent/child disconnect they want to make the GC aware of. For example, if the parents have not been able to agree on some important issue, they might share that with the GC, but not want to discuss the disagreement in front of the child. Or perhaps the child feels that he does not want to disclose an LD diagnosis, but the parents feel that the GC needs to know in order to give helpful advice. There’s no reason to have that fight in the GC’s office, which is what will happen if the child is present at the meeting.</p>
<p>I met independently with son’s GC sophomore year, because she was new to the school and he had been shuffled around between a few different GCs during freshman year. (large-ish public high school, she was probably assigned at least 200 - 250 kids at different grade levels). Son joined us for the 2nd half of the meeting. My goal was to make sure she knew a little about him, but also to start getting a directional list of colleges to consider.</p>
<p>The first part worked - she knew him better than I thought. Props to her. But the second part was an epic fail…she had me nearly in tears thinking my son wasn’t going to get into any college, ever! He was a typically lazy “B” student freshman year, but not a failure at all. And she was very discouraging about his ability to move up to honors or AP tiers. </p>
<p>Again my son and i met with her junior year to finalize a list of colleges to visit… I found she only had knowledge of schools within about a 100 mile radius where probably 30 - 40% of the kids from our school attend. Anything outside of that, she just said it would be a reach for my son (not kidding). </p>
<p>As time went on I only contacted her on periodic logistical matters - I tried to let my son handle most of them, but found I had to follow up.</p>
<p>When he went over his final application list with her at the beginning of senior year (I didn’t attend), he was told that he was reaching too high and needed more safeties. Thankfully I did my own research and studied the naviance graphs, etc… long story short son was admitted to 10 of 12 schools he applied to, 6 with merit money. (still waiting on one more… my bet is he gets in!) Reaching too high my A$$! </p>
<p>So advice to OP or any others reading this thread… GCs are overworked. They are not always well informed about the vast number of school choices available to kids who aren’t in the median. Do your own research, the internet is awesome. You do need to make sure they know your child, because their recommendation is considered by colleges… but I have to hope it’s not weighted that highly, at least at a large public school. You also need to double check and make sure they submit all of the required paperwork at application time. But other than that, at a public HS, don’t expect more.</p>
<p>Our S had TWO GC’s–one was retiring and mentoring the younger one. The older one was VERY discouraging and pessimistic, saying he didn’t know if S would get into ANY good Us (even tho S was a NMF with great test scores and OK GPA). The other said that S was a very interesting candidate because he had a very legit reason for his slightly lower GPA and class rank (chronic illness,being treated by MD). He told S to cast a wide net and see what he ended up with. </p>
<p>S applied to his “safety” school (that he fully expected to be accepted at with significant merit), as well as two others that he was pretty likely to also be accepted with merit. He submitted parts of his app that didn’t require essays to four other Us. Not surprisingly, he was rejected from the Us where he was late and incomplete on his essays. He did get one full-ride offer from an OOS U. The three he saw as safeties all admitted him; two with significant merit and one with NO merit. It worked out OK for S.</p>
<p>We were glad S ignored the older GC who saw S’s record as being so poor.</p>
<p>Just saying GCs vary as to quality and how well they actually guide kids and families. They have their biases and their workloads, and sometimes these do not lend themselves to the type of personalization that works best for US and OUR kids. No one can care and know as much about your kid as you and your kid (with sometimes a bit of honest, objective feedback from others).</p>
<p>I think I’d better give all of you an update before my international trip starting tomorrow.</p>
<p>I had an 1:1 meeting with my D’s GC. It went very well and actually it’s beyond my expectations.</p>
<p>She laid out two course plans for my D:
a) three APs - English, Physics and Chemistry, no more math.
b) two APs - Physics and Chemistry + an advanced calculus at a college near by my home + English (Honor class).
BTW, my D is taking two APs this year - bio and BC Calc. She’s expecting A’s for both classes. And our school offers APs only to Juniors and Seniors. </p>
<p>She went over pros & cons for both plans. She told me that no matter which plan my D chose, she’d explain it to the colleges that my D’s going to apply. </p>
<p>She also offered to read my D’s college essays. This is something I did not expect originally. And I am so happy in learning this.</p>
<p>The meeting went about 40 minutes. I sent her a thank-you email afterwards.</p>
<p>In summary, the meeting was successful. And I encourage you all meet your kids’ GCs. </p>
<p>And lastly, thank you all for your inputs, comments, understanding, and support. </p>
<p>It sounded like a great meeting. When our kids were in school, whenever I traveled internationally, I would bring back something small for their teachers and GC. Have a nice trip.</p>
Have a nice trip.</p>