<p>The GC would be very helpful for class selection, standardized tests, and certain procedure within school and college application. However, I often found they are not very knowledgeable with college specific information. I would not rely on them for that kind of information. Read some books about college admission. There are plenty in the library about how to choose a perfect school and how to admit a top school, etc. I found valuable information from them which are written by professional college counselors and admission officers.</p>
<p>As I said upstream, call the GC to set up an appointment. Send a follow up email with the same request. If you don’t hear back within 48 hours, send a second email request to the GC, and copy it to the school administrator. My bet is you will get some kind of reply.</p>
<p>Our district policy is that ALL emails and phone calls MUST be returned within 48 hours.</p>
<p>Another thing you can do which our GCs found helpful. We started a list of our kids’ activities, including how many hours they spent on them. We started this when our kids were in 9th grade. Our kiddos did a number of ECs outside of school, so this information was important. When the time came, our kids gave this sheet to the GC as an informative piece of information for writing the counselor recommendation. </p>
<p>We did not rely on our HS GC to do college research for our kids. The GC told our son he would NEVER get accepted at the college from which he graduated. The GC had never heard of the college DD attended.</p>
<p>But things do vary from GC to GC and from school to school. Our second GC was infinitely better than the first. </p>
<p>You say your kiddo attends a TOP HS in your state? That being the case, the GC is probably a tad familiar with competitive colleges. </p>
<p>By meeting with her, you could also gauge how competent she is. You can then decide how much additional help your D will need with her college process. </p>
<p>At my kids’ school, even though there were a lot of kids looking at selective schools, they were assigned to GCs alphabetically, so each GC had a large number of kids, including some that weren’t college-bound at all. They just couldn’t focus much on any particular kid, and their knowledge of colleges was pretty superficial. (This may have varied by GC, of course, but it’s my general impression.)</p>
<p>I’m with OldFort. Don’t let people here put you off by saying that you are meddling or a helicopter parent, or that your kid should be entirely self-directly at this young age. Some kids are. Many are not. That does not mean that they do not belong at elite schools. </p>
<p>Sounds like your D needs to build confidence. Experiences such as signing up for the more advanced calc class and doing well will build that confidence. Allowing her to be influenced by nay-saying peers into limiting her horizons will do nothing positive for her. Clearly, her former GC recognized her potential and her retiring personality, and worked to make sure that she was not cheating herself of the opportunity to live up to that potential. Whether you should meet with your D or alone, I am not sure. I think it would be better to include your D if possible, although I would be careful about what you say. I wouldn’t tell the story about being tricked into Calc BC. 
I might say that peers had discouraged her, but that her former GC recognized her potential and strongly encouraged her to take the class, in which she is now doing well. Your D needs to see this pattern, and not sell herself short in the future.</p>
<p>“At our school GCs are in charge of schedules and college LOR and that is pretty much their scope.”</p>
<ol>
<li>I thought that teachers are in charge of LOR. </li>
<li>Schedules of what? Classes?</li>
</ol>
<p>Thank you all for your inputs and my special thanks go to Consolation & Oldfort.</p>
<p>Just 2 updates:</p>
<p>1) My D had a 1:1 meeting with her GC yesterday. And the GC encouraged my D to take AP English, which is exactly what I want!! And I knew if the GC had not done so then my D would not have taken my advice. I am relived a bit on this issue.</p>
<p>2) The GC arranged an 1:1 meeting with me tomorrow. I can’t wait, my God.</p>
<p>BTW, there are indeed quite a few GCs at my D’s high school. Maybe 10 or more? But they are responsible for all 4 grades, though. That means each GC is taking care of 160-180 kids (ca. 45/grade).</p>
<p>My D has never talked to her former GC in freshman year and she only talked to her former GC once in sophomore year when the GC “tricked” her to BC Calc. My D talked to her current GC once in last September, once yesterday. </p>
<p>The school told us GCs are mainly focused on Seniors year around and Juniors in late spring. My interpretation is “don’t bother them if you are a sophomore or freshman”. The school also told us the best way to reach teachers would be through emails. Sure they have all the numbers listed but I don’t how many kids or their parents would call those numbers.</p>
<p>And lastly, is a high school of 1800 kids considered large or medium or super large? Like I said before, I grown up abroad and have no sense about the public high school size in the US. I just know our high school cannot be a small one.</p>
<p>Just FYI, in our school email is also the preferred mean of reaching a teacher or GC. They will then call you back to discuss (not always at a convenient time fo ryou). In my experience, it is much easier to reach a teacher than before they were using email regularly. </p>
<p>Good luck with the meeting. Sounds like the GC may know your daughter better than your think!</p>
<p>We’ve always worked to support our kids in their reaching out to available resources to resolve issues, discuss options, etc., rather than doing it for them. Starting in elementary school, we’ve coached them on how to appropriately and respectfully approach teachers with questions on grading or to ask for help. By high school, they are/were mostly self-sufficient, although we still talk about best approaches for getting help or self-advocating, even with the one in college. The younger is a HS senior now, and we have met with a GC once ever (for a specific issue with the older child where we all met together).</p>
<p>I remember one of our first experiences when we had a different opinion than one of our kids about “course selection” and it was in elementary school. Our child wanted to be pulled out of class four times a week so she could participate in both orchestra and band, and we didn’t agree. As there are no GCs in fifth grade, we coached our shy kiddo about getting input from two academic teachers. She nervously followed through and came home (to our surprise!) with support from the teachers, including a plan how they would help monitor her and intervene if it turned out to be too much. Our parental takeaway was that sometimes our kids and their teachers work out very good approaches without our intervention, so we should give them that chance. </p>
<p>In high school, both our kids met directly with their GC as needed. The senior talks to hers a lot because she has a complicated schedule (recommended by GC), is taking an online course (suggested by the GC), needed a fair number of recommendation letters (school has standard “brag sheet” kids fill out to help GCs with this), and is applying for a national award (requiring extra work from GC). The GC supports about 250 kids (2000 in school and 8 GCs), and my daughter’s treatment is not “special” - but the kids do need to seek any help they need above routine (the GC will reach out to every child periodically for discussions about course selection and completion of college recommendations, etc). I do know parents at our school that routinely call or meet with a GC, but this approach has worked for us. Of course, your mileage may vary as all kids and GCs are different!</p>
<p>^^^That’s a very unfair and inaccurate assessment, princess202. There is nothing “cushy” IMO about the job of guidance counselor. While there are some who are overwhelmed with too many students and too few resources, and others who are less informed about college than they should be, I would never presume to be as insulting and dismissive of the entire profession as you are.</p>
<p>Why on earth are you so bitter?</p>
<p>princess202 - I think you are very wrong and I am sorry your experience has been such. It is not a cushy/easy job. To do it well, it requires a lot of interpersonal skills and ability to guide (strong leadership). Both GCs we had for D1 and D2 were very dedicated to their jobs, especially D1’s GC. She made sure she met us privately for the first meeting so we may address our concerns without D1 there. But any requests we’ve ever had, she always said, “Let me talk with (D1) to see what she thinks.” Clear message to us that her client was D1, not us. She worked relentlessly to get all of her students off the WL, it included sending in more information, phone calls to adcoms, even visits to some. When our kids found out where they were accepted, their GCs were often one of the first they called to share the good news.</p>
<p>OP - it appears your GC only work with 45+ students, which should be very manageable, so you should expect some quality time from her.</p>
<p>To add to the above, not only do GCs have to have the skills oldfort listed in regards to advising students on courses and college applications, they are also (at least at my D’s school) the lead person in situations like student illness leaves, mental health crises requiring 504/IEP, parent death/illness issues, and learning disability issues. At D’s school there’s one social worker but in reality the GCs deal with the bulk of these issues. At any given time the GC could be dealing with several kids in one of these type of crises, in addition to her senior/college crowd!</p>
<p>If anything, the fault lies in the school system for not assuring there are more GCs available. They are always overworked and stressed out. It is NOT a cushy job!!!</p>
<p>OP, good news re AP English and your upcoming meeting. Sounds like the new GC is on the same page as the old one–and you. :)</p>
<p>I wish there was more effort put into matching GC and student, at least at our school. D’s first GC was a coach who would have been a great GC for our son who wanted to play football in college. But he didn’t really have a vision or mindset that seemed helpful or installed confidence in our more academically-oriented daughter. D’s current GC is a much better fit, and D is much more apt to ask questions and trust her advice as a result. </p>
<p>While I have talked to D’s GC about one issue this year, Elliedad and I are trying to step away from the process a little bit, allowing D to take the lead on college search and course selection issues now that she’s a junior. I think it’s harder for my husband than it is for me. He’s still checking her grades online and trying to micromanage, while I’m trying to be more supportive and less directive. He means well, but D resents his efforts because she sees it as lack of confidence in her.</p>
<p>
Kindergarten worked for me. </p>
<p>One aspect of “parenting” was helping my kids build self-advocacy skills. That meant that when the kids would come home with a problem or complaint about a teacher, my first recourse was to suggest to my child ways to address the issue on his/her own. When my daughter was unhappy with her kindergarten teacher, I encouraged my daughter to write a letter to the teacher voicing her complaints. I did set up a conference with the teacher – but I asked my daughter to first write the letter, and then give the letter to me to bring to the teacher. </p>
<p>I assumed that by high school my kids would manage course selection, and working with the high school g.c., on their own. If there was a serious problem that arose – then of course parents were standing by to intervene. When my son was in high school, a teacher walked up to him and slapped him for no apparent reason – the incident was witnessed and verified by a classroom aid – so we got involved. Teachers shouldn’t go around hitting students, and we parents got involved because we didn’t want my son returning to that classroom, and the school would not approve his request to be changed to a different class. </p>
<p>But absent major problems, my kids handled those issues on their own. I never met my son’s g.c. or even knew her name until after all college apps had been submitted, but he apparently knew her well. There was extra contact involved because of his National Merit status – my son was the first NM-qualifier the school had, at least during that particular g.c.'s tenure, so he had to nudge her to make sure papers were submitted on time. My d’s school had a part-time g.c. on staff to focus solely on college admissions – actually paid for with PTA funds - and he would set up meetings with each of the students, send an email bulletin around to families who subscribed, and hold some info session for parents. I attended the info sessions, and corresponded by email when I had questions – but I certainly didn’t tell him how to do his job – and I let my daughter handle all the issues concerning recommendations. When it came to high school course enrollment, there was a particular g.c. who my daughter had serious issues with – my daughter complained rather vociferously – but I never met the person and let my daughter work it out. </p>
<p>In my view, “parenting” means helping young children develop the life skills to function independently when they reach adulthood. Adolescence is a time of transition. To me that means a time when the young person will be encouraged to take as much responsibility as possible for managing their own school affairs, knowing that they can come to the parents for advice and support, and for intervention when they run into problems they can’t manage. </p>
<p>I certainly did not take a hands-off approach in high school, but I did my parenting at home, not by butting in at school. </p>
<p>You wrote:
</p>
<p>Why do you think the parent should be modeling behavior, as opposed to encouraging their kids to take on these responsibilities early on? When my daughter was in 9th grade, concerned about potential course assignment in 10th grade, she camped out in front of her gc’s office for hours the day before course registration was to begin, in order to make sure that she could voice her concerns ahead of time. I didn’t even know about it until the day after it happened. I think there’s a value in learning by doing – and a growth opportunity that is missed when parents step in to do tasks for their own children that other people’s kids are handling on their own. </p>
<p>Princess202…it may have been YOUR experience that nobody cares about students at a public high school. But that is a very gross over generalization. Our HS guidance folks did the basic job well. Our kids had teachers who were fabulous resources during their college search. These were teachers who had our kids as students and did know them, and care about them and their futures. In fact, they still keep in touch with those teachers years later.</p>
<p>And FYI, neither of my kids was in the top 3 students or was a star athlete. And I am not the president of the United States.</p>
<p>And do you know anything about what it takes to become a guidance counselor? Do you? If not, please stop casting insult after insult.</p>
<p>I suggest ignoring trolling comments. I think it’s pretty clear that there is a great deal of variation in what GCs do at different schools. At some schools, they spend a lot of time helping kids who have legal problems, who need work permits, etc. They do a lot that has nothing to do with college selection, or even course selection. And a GC who’s handling 180 kids is probably not going to be spending a lot of time learning about any of them in detail. You may get lucky, and it sounds like OP has a GC who cares–but since the kid already met with the GC, and the results were positive, what’s the point of a meeting without the kid?</p>
<p>princess202 </p>
<p>Your posts have some notable grammatical and typographical errors. You might want to review and correct these as you reflect on the irony of your calling others lackadaisical.</p>
<p>Some kids are better off being pushed to an extent or gently nudged in a direction. However, the appearance of this can likely be the death knell for a student aiming for a top school, which the OP has said is the goal. Being shy is also one of the things not sought after at top schools. It’s fine to have this attribute, but certainly don’t advertise it. </p>
<p>And I think the meeting alone with the GC can come off like the parent is steering the child too much or is a “helicopter” parent. Again, this is somewhat necessary as a parent, but it is expected that kids at the top schools would not need this. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I totally agree with this, but I still think in terms of the way kids are evaluated, you want to avoid the appearance that kids aren’t entirely self-directed.</p>
<p>When my kids were in 9th grade, I decided to take the bull by the horns and meet with the GC, without them. (This is in your typical public high school, where the GC’s are also doing work for students who have had deaths in the family, or addictions, or truancy, or homelessness, or whatever, and really aren’t going to know the kids unless the issue is forced somehow.) Honestly, I regret doing so. I think it gave me a rep as pushy parent (even though I backed off) and it undermined my kids. Of course, the joke was on me when the GC became pregnant and left on maternity leave and a brand new one came in just as my kids were gearing up to apply to colleges. Serves me right!</p>
<p>This is one of the biggest holes in the admission process, IMO. Adcoms KNOW that at the vast majority of public schools, GC’s can’t possibly know their students, and so they write boilerplate, fill-in-the-blank recs that Suzy/Mary/Johnny is a really good student of history/English/math and therefore College A/College B/ College C should be happy to have them. Why they engage in this charade, I don’t know. It just seems that it confirms “status” of one’s school, which is info they already have. </p>