@melvin123 I don’t think it’s crass at all, although in my case, I did not care at all whether my kid wanted or did not want to apply to my undergraduate alma mater. My spouse got mad at me because I would not persuade my kid to at least apply to my alma mater. Even if I was a billionaire, I would not donate to my kid’s school solely for the reason my kid was accepted and is going there. The college did not accept my kid out of goodness of their hearts; they admitted him because they thought admitting my kid served their goals. And my kid is attending there because he thought that would serve his goal. And I am paying full costs because I think doing so serves my goal.
One of the biggest factors in my decision was that I generally support with money and emotions my loved one’s desire if it’s grounded on a persuasive argument. But I am very much aware that no decision is free from risks. All we can do is try to make decent decisions and move on.