Don't Want to Show Parents my Essay...

Best of luck to you, @bluekou23 – hang in there!

Sounds to me that you have some stuff to work through. You know what you want to do, so hearing a bunch of opinions from strangers on a posting board really won’t help. Think it through and make a decision on your own.

Very true @TXRooster I’m beginning to see why people sometimes recommend staying away from CC. I can make my own decision with how to deal with this essay, I even already knew what I wanted to do but sought reassurance nonetheless.

And none of us have read it, so we really don;'t know what you conveyed or how.

I just want to say, this topic is not uncommon. For the schools you seem interested in, they’ll have read these before. If anything, lots and lots of times. So please make it relevant in ways that help your app. Remember the point of the app writing isn’t the same as ordinary hs essays to reveal some thoughts or details. It’s more about showing them what they need in order to see you on their campus,doing well, having some impact.

I completely understand that @lookingforward that’s why I didn’t make my sexuality the focus of my essay, I made my getting contacts more important within the essay. When going to my English teacher with it she mentioned that my paragraph about homosexuality could be some people’s entire essay, and so she thought that it being just one part of a series may be interesting, which is what I explored. I obviously can’t share my essay here on the forums but she said it was unique. I tied it all back to a consistent theme that is important and individual to me.

I think sexuality issues are a bit of a yawner for college reps these days. Unless you are applying to a religious college, they have seen hundreds of essays on the topic by now. It isn’t anything to avoid for reasons of worrying that they will be shocked or biased about it, but it is becoming one of the overdone topics.

If you want to stick with it, tell your dad that you feel more comfortable with having a teacher do an adult edit on it vs. parents. Or come out and then let him read it. Or pick a new topic. I always advise to figure out what you want to write about, then figure out what prompt you can fit it into. The common app essay is one time when answering the prompt most fully and honestly isn’t always going to get the best result. There can be many angles a given applicant can take that are equally truthful and representative to admissions.

@intparent Thank you for the advice, but like I said my sexuality isn’t the topic of my essay. My essay is about moving toward adulthood in a unique and specific way, and me beginning to come out was one page in that story, so it’s one paragraph in my essay. I wouldn’t write an essay about sexuality issues because I know that’s overdone now.

Thanks for the input @MurphyBrown ! My parents are the type to want to help by looking at my essays and activities and such, but I don’t think they’ll go so far as to make me let them proofread before I submit. They’re sort of hands off in my academic pursuits because I’m more disciplined than my brother/sister were. Thank you again for the advice! If I do change the essay for my dad to see I’ll make sure the message remains intact.

You should have some adult read your final essay. If not your dad, then maybe a teacher.

OP, I still haven’t read my D16 essays. She was adamant that she wanted her voice to be the only only on paper. My concern was that she did her best. I know she had friends, teachers and her gc read them. That, in itself, gave me relief that she would have opinions that would be helpful.

Without going into details of your essays maybe that’s the route you should take with your dad. I’m sorry it’s putting added stress during this already stressful time of year for you. I would use that too. So, what would I say to dad?

Thank you wanting to be involved during this trying time of year. Please understand that I’m trying to take a step into figuring out things in a mature way, since I will be forced to do that once I’m away at college.

I think something like that will make him give you some breathing room. However, include him whenever you can. We are, after all, still parents and need to take part in our kids lives, no matter how old you get.

I’ll definitely be working on them with my english teacher @intparent and thank you @cardinal2020mom for that, I’ll definitely have a conversation with him and I’ll be sure to share all of my supplements with him, as they don’t address the issue briefly mentioned in the common app essay.

OP is processing what we’ve said, that’s good enough for me.

So OP, just keep the goal in mind. “Show, not.just tell” that you can think, act, and grow in ways competitive colleges like. Make it a nice tale.

Sounds like that’s what you’ve tried to do. If you rewrite for Dad, use a similar turning point and you both might just use the moment in your own ways. I don’t think you should entirely block him from this. To me, that would feel artificial and you do want the relationship. Best wishes.

Thank you all for your help, I really appreciate it. It’s nice to have all these things to think about going into these last couple months of editing before I turn in my app to Yale. I’ll be sure that my parents are both a part of the process. Thanks again @Lindagaf @lookingforward

To anyone considering this topic for college admissions essays: know that it can work if done correctly. I wrote an essay briefly exploring and discussing my sexuality and ended up getting accepted to several schools, including some of my reach schools like Brown, Dartmouth, and Williams. If anyone has any questions please feel free to message me and I can go into more detail about how I wrote the essay.

Well done!

Terrific news, Blue. May you have a wonderful college experience!

Thought I’d bring this topic up again for anyone going through the college app process right now. You can write about whatever you want to. For me that involved my sexuality, and things worked out. I ended up at Brown and received a handwritten note from my admissions officer saying how much she loved my essay. Follow your gut please.

What great advice! Congrats to you! Thanks for the update.