<p>@Marian - my S1’s situation is similar. We live 50 miles from his school, at the outer limit allowed for commuting students. But I was dead set against his commuting. He’d be spending two hours on the road each class day that he could be spending working or studying, never mind the danger of being on the road itself. And when we did the math, room and board was less expensive. We made the right choice. He’s a sports journalism major, which involves a lot more out-of-class time than most programs. He’s sports editor of the college newspaper (a paying job, btw) and he never could have done that or taken advantage of other opportunities he’s had if he commuted. He can come home anytime he wants, for appointments and such. The inter-city bus is $4, and driving him back on weekends is no problem. He’s “away at school” but conveniently close at the same time.
@Jeannemar - S2 and I are the ones who push each other’s buttons. He’s a senior this year and sometimes I find myself counting the days until he leaves. Then we calm down and I resolve to enjoy his remaining time at home as much as possible.</p>
<p>The DORM! I lived some 8 miles but we made the budget work for being on campus. I can easily see how a parent and child should part ways. A college friend walked to campus and missed out on a lot of after hours time (you don’t ring doorbells after 10 pm to ask if a friend can come- this was before cell phones). Others I knew commuted and missed out on the experiences I had. I always recommend a freshman go away to school, even if it is only across town because the best state school is there. You can always choose to return home (highly unlikely once you have left) but you can never gain that unique freshman experience later.</p>
<p>If it does not cause financial strain I’d recommend dorming.</p>
<p>Some of my favorite memories of college include things like … midnight touch football games in the snow … late night food runs … late night runs on campus.</p>
<p>Many of my political views, views on race relations, views on women’s issues, views on the designated hitter … were heavily influenced by late late conversation sitting in a hallway eating crappy domino’s pizzas with my dorm mates.</p>
<p>I believe a lot of a person’s position on this depends on their view of what the goal of attending college is. If the goal is to check off getting a degree and/or get practical training to get good job then dorming is not an essential aspect of college (especially if the goal is to do this as inexpensively as possible). However if college is considered a educational experience first and foremost the value of dorming probably is often seen as being higher.</p>
<p>I lived at home during my college years. It was perfect.</p>
<p>I had a freedom to join all on-campus parties. Yet, I had a freedom to stay away from parties, if I needed to study. I never worried about dinner. Or laundry. When my friends were “in transition” from one place to another, they could stay with me and my parents. </p>
<p>In the end, I was looking towards my freedom. Thus I graduated fast, got my first job before graduation, and moved away.</p>
<p>" I never worried about dinner. Or laundry"
THAT’s a very good example why freshmen need to move away from home. Otherwise, they’re like outgrown high school students. They “go to school” and come home. They’re not part of a university.
Even if it’s just for a year and then your DS moves to a cheaper apartment with roommates, that social and educational experience is invaluable to teach independence, social skills, and general life skills. Furthermore, studies have shown that freshmen who live on campus have a much better, richer college experience, and don’t reduce it to “taking classes a few hours a day”, being more involved in clubs & activities, creating more bonds with other students and instructors, reducing drop out rates, etc, etc.</p>
<p>I am currently at a commuter school. I do not recommend it at all, just not for me. Thankfully ill be out of there by the end of this year, to a way better school where I will enjoy myself and get that college experience!</p>
<p>“that social and educational experience is invaluable to teach independence, social skills, and general life skills” - on paycheck from parents?</p>
<p>You can’t teach independence without giving it. True independence is an ability to provide for yourself.</p>
<p>I am glad that I was living with parents. I didn’t earn money, but at least I haven’t spent money to demonstrate my “pseudo-independence”. I lived in my parents house, by their rules. When I was ready to be independent (and earn money) I left their house and lived my myself.</p>
<p>"Otherwise, they’re like outgrown high school students. "</p>
<p>Yes, they are. As long as they don’t get their own reasonable paychecks, students are outgrown high school students.</p>