Maybe it’s where we are. We lived in a small suburb at one time surrounded by a city. Had a small house with a little yard. Good walkability. I liked it there. Here not at all.
But I like my current place best.
Everyone has different ideas of what they want.
@Jolynne_Smyth I noted most of the responses were about a “we.” I am just “me.” I think it is harder when you are alone, and also when you are older (I am 71).
I could not find a rental in the town I have lived in for 32 years (as you may remember I have been doing winter rentals for 5 years and moving around, in order to stay rooted in my town, and wanted a year round place) and am in a brand new town, about an hour away. Honestly, it is difficult. COVID worries (I am a caregiver of a 95 year old and am still careful) compound the situation. I also feel the last couple of years of isolation have made me shy! I am taking it slow. Art class, tai chi, book club, church are all possibilities. I take a walk every night and at least the people I pass are friendly.
As older adults we have the experience of change and adjusting over time. I feel more for younger people experiencing this for the first time- like when they go to college!
There are 21 units in my complex and most residents are very friendly. I’ve been here 6 weeks and have met about half of the people living here. I’ve had lunch with several neighbors on 2 different occasions. I think it the size of my complex has made it easier to meet people than if I were in a bigger complex or if I had bought a house. Big city, but small world. My next door neighbor came out of her condo when I was doing walkthrough and started talking to my realtor about addressing her wedding invitations 15 years ago. My D connected the dots and realized she had hired next door neighbor, who is now retired, to do the calligraphy on her wedding invitations in 2016.
We moved to 2 seasonal locations in retirement, basically not knowing anyone either place, and we are friendly. The places are night and day in terms of us making friends. At one, we have many friends and an active social life, and did after just a year. At the other, even 6 years later, not nearly as much of either as we’d like. The first place is one where there are a lot of youngish active retirees from other places, lots of activities to join. The other has more and more airbnbs every year and more people with lots of family in the area.
We do get lots of guests both places, which we like, but definitely learned the importance of the people surrounding us and the nature of the local communities.
Thank you all so much for these thoughtful and varied responses! I really appreciate it!
I can see it depends on a number of things: nature of the community you move to, your own preferences re: socialization, the availability of activities (and joining them!), the walkability of the community.
This all reinforces an idea I’ve been hearing on a retirement podcast: build your retirment life around things you enjoy (be it family, hobbies, etc.). This podcaster, e.g., is moving to CO (pre-retirement) since he likes to mountain bike and his wife likes to hike. (podcast: Podcasts — Listen to The Retirement Answer Man, award-winning podcast — The Retirement Answer Man®).
I think contemplating a move where I don’t know anyone is scary because I haven’t yet figured out those other pieces - what do I really want to focus on? What is important in the second stage? (and for my husband!). Just picturing what I’d miss (friends). Working on it!
Over the past few months I’ve come to the conclusion that focus shouldn’t only be my kids, LOL. Since they’ve been the first priority for so long (simplified decision-making) - this is going to be interesting!
Thanks again!!
He is making a big assumption that they will both be able to continue these activities after retirement. People do have health issues as they age. Will he like being in CO if he can’t mountain bike? My husband (age 67) has had multiple health issues pop up in the last several years. He is now quite limited in his mobility and all he can really do is walk. So forget skiing, biking, kayaking, golf, tennis, etc. All the activities we thought we’d do in retirement are off the table for him. We are now looking for a place that offers easy access to a lot of varied places to walk, and pleasant views.
We had to ‘start over’ in the same home and town we have lived in for 30 years. Our jobs were so extremely encompassing in our lives that once we retired we had to seek out new interests and friends.
Bottom line for us, we are always starting over to some degree as situations change and we change.
Some cons of downsizing:
https://www.seattletimes.com/business/downsizing-in-retirement-expenses-they-didnt-expect/
me29034 - I agree! A lot of my friends (mostly younger) who are talking about second-stage, retirement lives are really focusing on the ‘active early retirement years’.
I think that podcaster is doing the same (the town he mentioned moving to does not seem to have a hospital very close by). For those of us who have watched our parents slowly decline through several stages (active travel, slowing down, needing some in-home help and lots of medical assist, complete dependency) - I think we view retirement with those aspects in mind as well.
I do like the podcaster’s take-away of ‘build your next stage life around things you enjoy’ - i just would include within that vision - access to quality medical care, the money to fund that (as well as inhome and long-term care), and (ideally) a walkable community (if driving became an issue).
rockymtnhigh2 - we are doing somewhat the same since our youngest is in college and we’ve finished an all-encompassing rehab project that took up the past two years. Finding things we enjoy, reaching out to friends for socialization/fun.
Bunsen - thanks for the article - it goes along with that general concept - everything is always more expensive/time-consuming than you think it will be!
We anticipate having to move one more time when we are at the second stage of retirement. Hopefully within our current community but that will depend on where our D is living.
One thing my husband and I have discussed is that our first retirement location may not be the last. We may need to move again, that shouldn’t stop you from moving to the place that suits you best in early retirement.
While I love the house we moved to I am well aware this may not be our “forever” house. It does have stairs inside as well as steps in both back and front.
Our realtor talked to us about this. I find myself looking for a house and imagining us at 70, 80+ there and if it’s doable. She said while we may find that we shouldn’t limit ourselves to those restrictions.
My goal is with the next hopefully soon move to be a move where we do pair down our belongings so that alone will help our belongings footprint whether that move is our last or not.
We have a four story house. I adore it and while we have wide enough stairwells to install a stairlift, I can’t see staying here if we get to a point where we are physically incapacitated. We do not have a first floor bedroom or bathroom. At some point, we’ll downsize to a one story condo. But hopefully not for another 30 years ; )
This is what we’ve concluded as well. We will be moving to France, and we initially thought we would look for an apartment in a town. We’ve lived in various apartments in Tokyo for the past 30 years, so we know the advantages. But the more we thought about it, we realized we really wanted the garden, the pool, room for guests, etc. So we are buying a house that is about 500 sq. ft. larger than our current apartment and has a beautiful garden and pool, a guest suite on a separate level, etc. It is walkable to town, but it will be a hilly, 15-20 minute walk. There is also a flight of stairs down from the entry to the main level of the house. Eventually, it might become too much, in which case we might move down the hill to an apartment by the sea, but for the moment this will be fun. At first, I thought I might have only one more move in me, but now I think I’ll be able to do another so long as we are thoughtful and diligent about getting rid of stuff this time. I have been reading with interest the posts from people who’ve moved to places where they know no one, as this will be us. I am not so worried about me or my husband - been there, done that - but we are taking our 20-year old daughter (an online student at ASU) with us and I am crossing my fingers it will be a good decision for her.
I’m sure your CC buds would love to stop by for a visit so you will not feel lonely! 
How exciting! I think you are making the right decision re: type of housing. We are quite mobile and like to be near things of urban nature, but at the same time, I can’t imagine living in a condo here… we opted out for a house surrounded by trees and swamps yet just a 30 min walk to a vibrant urban oasis. We figured that if our needs change, we can move locally to be closer.
When I was single and we were 1st married, we lived in an apartment building on a busy street. It was very walkable but so noisy. As soon as we could afford it, we moved to our current home in quiet suburbs where know many neighbors. Yes, it’s not as walkable but we have been happy here for > 30 years.
Sounds like people here are making very thoughtful choices. There are always trade offs.
Really interesting to hear from those who are planning (or considering) a two-stage retirement living arrangement. I actually hadn’t thought much about that - was trying to ‘smush’ together ideas about what I might want have in early retirement with an image of myself and/or hub pretty debilitated.
Maybe that’s because I saw my parents live in the same house for 50 years (pretty happily and not too encumbered) - then the last place they lived was with me (and for short periods, my brother) when they needed more care.
Hadn’t really contemplated an ‘active retirement’ house, then one ‘suited for the more limited ability years.’ That opens up a whole way of thinking…!
I always advise to seek a home with at least a 3/4 bath on the main level (not just a half bath). Anyone can have mobility issues arise at any time. Guests can have mobility issues. Having the 3/4 bath on the main level, at least allows you to sleep in a family area, use the kitchen, etc. should the need arise due to a broken leg, or foot surgery or whatever. Universal design is for everyone – not just for the aging population.