We did “upsize” when we moved to CO, since our prior house was 1200 sq ft with 1 bathroom (and we had actually tried to sell it twice before, each time I was pregnant).
Our current 2400 sq ft house (plus unfinished basement) is more than we need. But we do like the fact that there is a small den/guestroom with adjoining bathroom if we someday had need to live downstairs after a surgery or had stair challenges. And hubby likes his workshop. For now we’ll stay here and hopefully make progress decluttering more. If someday we tire of dealing with the yard, furnace etc we may consider moving.
The big challenge in this house is deciding about renovations in this 1993 house we built, original kitchen (just some light fixture changes) and bathrooms. There was a slight temptation consider selling this year when buyers were not picky…. but we like it here, now long term vision of what we’d like better.
At the suggestion of one of these threads, I purchased a Costco queen airbed (auto filling/deflating and level of softness choices) and Costco’s summer/winter padded mattress pad. I have used it a lot for guests. It’s worth the price. It folds up nicely and stores under the stairs.
My sister and I bought a really good air mattress to leave at my dad’s place I n the long term care facility. I will be fine sleeping on it next month when I visit him.
We’ve never thought about family coming to visit when buying houses. We have two kids and currently get along fine with three bedrooms (our D has moved out and S is at college). I don’t like having a ton of space that we don’t need. And it helps us not keep stuff that we don’t need because we don’t have a ton of extra rooms and storage. That said, this house does have a large kitchen and large open living room, and each room is decently sized. Plus, the kitchen has more counter space then any kitchen I’ve ever had!
All of H’s family lives nearby, so they never need to stay overnight. My SIL and her husband did stay over one NYE when it was raining heavily and they felt they had drunk too much to safely drive home in the pouring rain. They slept on the couch. We have since acquired an inflatable mattress and rollaway bed, but they don’t really get used too much. My family lives far away and they come to visit 1-3 times a year, but it’s usually only 1 or 2 people at once. Sometimes if D and S are also home we just have my family stay in a nearby and nice hotel. If D and S aren’t there, they sleep in their rooms. Works fine!
I think perspectives change once your kids leave the family home permanently.
They come back with significant others and then they have little people!
I hate to admit that as an adult child, I never gave a ton of thought about my parents visiting as I have with my kids. I think there is something about your kids having a place to feel welcomed in your home.
And perspectives change when those kids live far away.
I have a cousin who expanded her house when her two kids grew and moved away. It is ginormous now and has 6+ bedrooms, plus a pool, formal dining room, kitchen with huge kitchen table, den/tv room. She is a widow and now maintains it all. It was handy for one of her kids (with grandkids) when she moved in briefly before moving to where she relocated to another city but mostly it’s her alone in the huge rambling house with 3/4 car garage.
I would be exhausted trying to keep the place clean and feel very lonely and isolated in , but different strokes!
I have several friends, females who are widowed, divorced or single, who “downsized” to low income senior housing, those small two tiny room places in little brick buildings that are subsidized. This thread is mostly a demographic that is making choices based on, well, choice
True. I think it also depends on how close your kids and grandparents live to you. I have some friends who live in a two bedroom home in a 55 and over community. Their kids, grandkids and extended family all live fairly close by, so they don’t really have overnight guests. Plus their daughter and son in law make good money, so they have a huge house.
For us, we are happy with what we have. We’d rather live in a smaller, cheaper house and use the money to travel and do stuff with our kids, extended family, etc. Different strokes for different folks
Good point about taking into consideration how far the family and extended family live. None of us live near each other so it’s important for us to have one designated guest room, as well as a room for our D. We also have our dog sitter using our guest room on a very regular basis too
I don’t worry too much about having spare bedrooms that don’t get used…because I think they would still get used in other ways! An bedroom/office, a bedroom/fitness room, a bedroom/whatever room!
And regarding an excuse to fill up spare rooms with stuff……I get such PLEASURE from clean not cluttered rooms - anywhere in the house - that as long as I can keep my H limited to one space for his junk, I have no desire to store more stuff.
It’s our own $$, eyes and arms and legs that buy stuff and carry it into the house - we have to control our whims!
We visited our daughter this weekend in her new city. We had a great time but she lives in a small apartment that is filled to the gills. They turned their 2nd bedroom into an office/exercise room. They moved their exercise bike and we slept on an inflatable mattress. The mattress was comfortable and it was nice. She lives with her boyfriend now.
She lived in a studio before. She would either stay at her boyfriend’s or we would stay in a hotel when we have visited in the past. Once she slept on the couch but that didn’t really work.
We weren’t familiar with the city she lives in now. And the apartment is very nice with 2 bathrooms so we didn’t have to share. But honestly, I would have been so happy in a hotel! But it would have been complicated as there wasn’t a hotel close and parking was an issue.
But things to think about when downsizing. We may stay where we are and we may decide to move. Probably not closer to our kids, who live in big cities that we have no interest in. I think I would be happy with room for our stuff. Which probably means 3 bedrooms and 2 baths.
Thinking a lot about this, compmom ^^. As I look at all the different scenarios for Stage 2 (small apartment in a city, house near kids, house somewhere warm, etc.) - there is certainly a level of fortune/privilege to be able to have choices. And finances are a big concern when you get older and income-generating options are more limited.
But, a wise friend told me a short time ago - the key things in the latter stage of life are: (1) meaning and (2) community.
So if those two things are achievable while living in a tiny apartment (or a big house with a water view) - that seems most important. I’m picturing the recent retiree I know in the big, beautiful new house - it’s still taking some time for that couple to figure out what to do with their days, and how make friends/connections. I.e., the physical location isn’t everything. To me, that’s the harder question (how to find meaning after work, how to establish community) - and cuts across all economic levels.
Which brings me to this…wondered if anyone has thought about co-housing?
Just to clarify, my friends in low income housing are not unhappy and the complex of small brick buildings means a measure of community, especially when the sun is out and people sit out on benches. I just wanted to add some balance to the discussion in terms of different ways to downsize. The apartments are cozy and pets are allowed.
I have looked into co-housing quite a bit, because Continuing Care Retirement Communities and 55+ communities don’t appeal to me as much due to age segregation (and yes, cost). I have also suggested co-housing to one of my kids, who likes to live alone but not in isolation. One form of that is subsidized artist communities. Having a space of one’s own but near other people seems preferable to eternal roommates. (See also Eco Villages)
When my mother dies and I am free to move, co-housing is first on my list to explore: one in Belfast ME and one in Ithaca NY. Being alone as we age is a daunting thought. There are also urban community organizations (one on Beacon Hill, Boston, one in Cambridge, that I know of) where community members pitch in to take care of the needs of the elderly.
Just adding that co-housing is one solution to the homelessness issues in our cities, as long as wraparound services are provided. Boston currently has a crisis with a tent city in the South End, and cold weather approaches. Placement in a room or apartment is not enough when people are lonely, sick, addicted, or otherwise unable to sustain well-being on their own. Non-profits and now the city are looking at creating housing that offers both a place of one’s own and a community, with support staff. Going from a tent to co-housing is definitely upsizing.
I love visiting Belfast but I think it would be a pretty isolated place to live, particularly in the winter. If you seriously consider it, make sure to visit in January and April. April and May are tough months here.
I visited this co-housing community when it was still under construction because my SIL was friends with one of the planners. It seems to be thriving. Who We Are - Nubanusit Neighborhood & Farm I think it’s a great idea. I’ve also heard about the more urban versions.
I love Belfast and it’s actually overall a bit warmer than where I live now (also the northeast). I agree you’d have to be willing to have less to do in the winters, but a good time to hunker down with projects. With high temps above freezing a lot of the time (even in January highs average 31 from what I’m seeing) you could walk every day (I’d have dogs always so that’s important). Portland is two hours, and other Maine cities 1-1.5 hours. Agree that it’s not for everyone though!
When D2 went to college, we downsized in terms of yard. We bought a house on a zero lot line (but on a golf course, so at least we had more yard to look at). After 8 years, DH had enough of being so close to the neighbors. We bought a house on an acre, same large # of square feet (DH needs a large office from which to run his business, and that usually only comes in big–ish homes). DH loves puttering around the yard, doing as much as he can on maintenance. Once a week, a crew comes to do the main job of mowing, but DH really enjoys the daily aspect of weeding, trimming, even taking care of the falling leaves that is a daily chore right now.
I’ve totally shocked him by taking care of the pool recently. It’s a shallow play pool (4 feet deep) that happened to come with the house- even though we preferred no pool. I’ve been addressing the falling leaves situation while I listen to audio books. It’s been such a pleasant autumn that I don’t even mind.
No current plans to move or to downsize for us. We enjoy a spacious home. For now.
My brother lives in Peterborough and my parents moved there after their original retirement home (a farm outside Lexington, VA) proved to be too much. It’s a great town, nice art scene, a surprising number of excellent restaurants. My father used to grouse about moving north instead of south, but the community there was much better for them. (Though the town of Lexington is quite nice too.)
