<p>I'm a Yale 2015er, and honestly, while everyone else (especially on the Facebook group) has been so incredibly excited about September, I've been dreading it since I first committed in mid-April. I hate opening Yale e-mails, hate receiving Yale letters, have been avoiding my roommate, haven't even touched the course catalog... </p>
<p>It's not really a problem with Yale. I think I would feel this way no matter where I had chosen to go to college. </p>
<p>I’ve heard that these worries are normal before going to college. But honestly, don’t stress it. You’re smart enough to get into Yale; I’m sure you’re smart enough to pass your classes. Of course your grades won’t be as good as you’re used to, but that’s because almost all of your peers will be just as qualified as you are, probably for the first time in your life. And honestly, do you think grades matter THAT much? You go to Yale. That’s already impressive enough to any prospective employer.</p>
<p>That said, just try to balance your life at Yale starting with day one. Study, make friends (this should be your first priority when you arrive), and try to live healthy. Establish a loose schedule and see how you handle it. I wouldn’t try to get involved with much else until you start to learn your limits.</p>
<p>Also, NEVER be afraid to ask for help from anyone. I learned this lesson in high school when I buckled under pressure, but it applies to college and life in general. If you’re struggling in your classes or feel overwhelmed and sleepless, reach out to your professors. It will show that you’re trying your best and you care about your work. At the least, they’ll have mercy when you turn in a rushed term paper, and at most, you might get some deadline extensions or even a B when you deserve a C.</p>
<p>^ Wow, secret tip, talk with your profs. Not kidding. They like the attention (assumes you have something valid to discuss.) And, yes, when the chips are down, they just may give you the benefit of the doubt. Doesn’t always work, but what’s it cost you to try? So many kids never go to office hours. Another tip, never sit in the back. Big joke among profs- they know why some kids sit in back. </p>
<p>What you are going through is normal. You’ve had so many years in the same environment and are now embarking on the unknown. But, so is everyone else. Take a few classes not in your major. Join something new to you. Understand nearly all will have some adjustment curve- don’t be overwhelmed by the ones who lead from the get go, seem to master everything. It’s only freshman year. And, learn from your sister’s situation, make different choices. If some of the pressure you feel is from family, put it in perspective. Good luck. What you’re going through is more typical than you realize- different kids just manifest it in different ways.</p>
<p>ps. despite the challenges, college can be one of the greatest times of your life.</p>
<p>I heard from a Harvard prof that in order to survive you have to accept that you are average. Most people at Yale/Harvard etc are used to being the best, but you cannot be that at these universities. Just be happy being an average Yalie…</p>
<p>Know this: a big part of a Yalie’s sleep deprivation or stressed schedule will be self-imposed. Why? It’s not only the academics but you’ll find yourself in a cornucopia of extra curricular and social situations that won’t be repeated. Ignore your sister’s situation. You’re about to enter an almost endless buffet line of great experiences and opportunities. Your regret will be that you don’t have enough hours in a day to enjoy all that Yale College has to offer.</p>
<p>And it’s extremely natural to feel that “did yale admissions make a mistake?”. Practically everyone feels that at one time or another. They didn’t. Congrats and enjoy New Haven.</p>
<p>One tip–which your advisors will reinforce–don’t overload yourself the first semester. It’s OK to take only 4 credits the first semester.
Another tip: if you’re going to take a foreign language, don’t automatically take the most advanced level you can place into, especially if you feel your high school preparation wasn’t all that great.
But I agree with the others–you are not likely to be miserable, unless you make yourself miserable.</p>
<p>It is so upsetting to me that ANYONE would write about “dreading” Yale. Yale! Of all places! I have never seen or heard of any college – any place – that was more welcoming, more entertaining, more stimulating, more fun. If you can’t enjoy Yale, the fault, dear Brutus, is not in your college, but in yourself.</p>
<p>Sleep deprivation, bad nutrition: You can do something about that. Go to bed. Eat well. Exercise regularly. All it takes is deciding to do it. And if one day you decide to pull an all-nighter or have an extra scoop of ice cream . . . that’s OK. Just take responsibility for your choices, don’t let yourself feel like a pinball in someone else’s game.</p>
<p>Mediocrity? Nothing about Yale is mediocre. Nothing. Measure yourself by what you are getting out of the experience, not by how you are doing in some imaginary race against other people.</p>
<p>Like yours was any fresher? We are both sentimental old fogies. It just bothered me terribly that someone would be able to go to Yale as a freshman in the fall, and would be dreading it.</p>
<p>^Why does that bother you so much? Like the OP, I’m a little reluctant myself. There’s a lot of pressure to perform, without there seeming to be much of chance of performing well. </p>
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<p>Those things are much easier said than done. That being said, I get your point. </p>
<p>Anyways, OP - just know that you’re not alone. I’ll see you before the month is out.</p>
<p>There really isn’t that much pressure once you’re there. There isn’t really a sense that students are competing with each other–at least, that was my experience and is my son’s. It may be different in the sciences, I suppose, but Yale is not really a cutthroat kind of place. And most people get good grades.</p>
<p>@Hunt - Wow, that’s so surprising, but very…relieving. Reassuring. Thank you very much for your input!</p>
<p>@JHS -</p>
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<p>I think you misunderstood me: I don’t have any problems with Yale. It’s been my dream college since I was 6, and I know I’m lucky to be going there. Some of my friends have had poor experiences there, though, especially freshman year.</p>
<p>Did you attend Yale, i.e. do you have firsthand knowledge?</p>
<p>To be honest, I really dread people like you. YOU ARE GOING TO YALE! It’s one of the best universities in the country! How can you dread going such a great school? And if you are so nervous then drop out and let people who actually want to attend go</p>
<p>Yes, I did. I have a pretty nice life, and I don’t long to be 18 again or anything, but the first few months of Yale were among the best times of my life. It was all so exciting and awesome, the people were so smart, the resources unbelievable. I would go sit in Beinecke or the L&B Room at Sterling and be breathless that it was all there for me to use. </p>
<p>It didn’t stay great all the time. Like everyone else, I made mistakes, I disappointed myself, not everything went the way I imagined it. But it was still the greatest year of my life up to then . . . and each of the next three years was better.</p>
<p>That was a long time ago, but I have heard pretty similar things from recent alumni, too. I did know people who didn’t like it. One of my freshman roommates dropped out and never returned, and two people I knew transferred out. But they were few and far between. Part of what made it great was that everyone was loving it most of the time. Hunt is right – there wasn’t any great air of competition with other students. A few people behaved that way, but they were sort of ostracized for it – it was a very fringe position. Most people just dug each other all the time.</p>
<p>Penn and Yale are very different kinds of colleges. They are both fine colleges, but the "vibe " at each is very different. So, while I don’t know whether you and your sister are similar in terms of personalities, if you are, don’t assume that you sister’s unhappiness at Penn means you will be unhappy at Yale. </p>
<p>Seriously…though I think you may not believe me, I think it’s better to go into college with some doubts than to do so assuming you’re entering Nirvana. The pessimistic students are usually happily surprised. The ones who go into college assuming they will be elected to Skull & Bones and win a Rhodes Scholarship are the ones I worry about. </p>
<p>I went to a top law school that had lots of students who had gone to HYP and other top colleges. We used to joke that all the students who went to Princeton loved Princeton, but the rest of us couldn’t stomach them. About half the students who had gone to Harvard College loved it; the other half loathed it. The rest of us disliked the Harvard grads who had been happy undergrads and liked those who had been miserable and unhappy. All the students who had gone to Yale loved Yale, and the rest of us liked them. </p>
<p>^ Wow jonri, that is an interesting to perspective, but it does make sense (P vs H vs Y).</p>
<p>My daughter enjoyed every moment of her Yale freshman year. She had a very intense schedule but she thought that on the whole she slept a lot better in freshman year of college than she did in junior or senior years of high school. In general she found that the vast majority of the kids around her were having a wonderful time. The rare person who was not happy was unhappy for social reasons (e.g. didn’t like the weather, or had difficulty adapting to the culture of the Northeast).</p>
<p>Yale is not Penn or Princeton or Harvard. It is much more “chill”. Or at least that is what I gather from those who’ve been to two or more of these places.</p>
<p>All you’re doing is building a self-fulfilling prophecy. Check your privilege and make the best out of this great opportunity you’ve been given.</p>
That being said, I get your point. </p>