Hoping someone can shed some light. My D22 committed ED2 with athletic support for tennis. The coach who recruited her has left without mentioning anything. We visited campus a few weeks back and met the new coach. Coach told my daughter that she would be holding tryouts. Now we aren’t sure what to expect. D22 turned down some other offers to ED2 at this school for tennis. D22 doesn’t want me involved, but I’d like to know what her future holds now that we are locked in. Can anyone give me some guidance?
I would consider the following:
1.) Is this the school where your daughter wants to be (with or without tennis)?
2.) Did she get a sense of whether she should be happy with the new coach and program?
Sounds to me like the new coach doesn’t know the recruits so he/she may just want to make their own assessment. If the answer to question 1 is yes, I think you can relax.
Just to be clear…she has already been accepted ED2 and starts in the fall?
Many coaches do have tryouts (some schools actually require them to). She will probably be ok, but I understand it’s stressful. Not all recruits make the teams they are recruited for. Good luck to her.
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I think she WILL be happy here, but tennis is a huge part of her daily life. The only schools that she was looking at also had a tennis opportunity so if tennis doesn’t happen it will be a problem. She did not get a good sense of the new coach and the program. She is easy going and gets along with everyone so it’s not so much the new coach, but more about the possibility of not having a spot on the team.
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Unless a student athlete is going to college with a reasonable hope to go pro, everyone has ready for their highly competitive athletic career to end. If she is ok with the uncertainty, I think that you need to follow her lead.
First of all, I am sorry as it is very stressful. I presume she will keep her tennis up all summer, so she is very ready in the Fall. When she communicates with the coach again, it may make sense to ask for drill ideas or any thing he suggest for conditioning and reiterate her commitment to the team, the sport and the school.
I think many people do not know that teams may continue to cut - even recruited and supported athletes. My guess it is one of the questions that doesn’t get asked during the process and should.
It is a beyond stressful way to start off college. Wishing your daughter (and you) well.
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When my daughter was a recruit,she did base some of her decision on the coach and how much playing time she’d get. Of the schools she really considered, only 1 coach was still at that school when she graduated (the school she picked). One coach had left before my daughter would have even started (like OP’s coach) and that school had 3 coaches before the end of her freshman year! Daughter’s coach stayed for 4 years (the time daughter was at school) and left with very little notice.
It happens. It happens often. Your daughter met the team and liked them. The old coach felt she was picking a strong team and that’s probably still true but there is no way to know if some superstar player will walk on to the team. Your daughter has a really good chance of making the team.
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It’s D3 - Of course she’s not going pro. She is not ok with this uncertainty. When you play a sport daily for enjoyment and your mental health and this ED2 commitment was for tennis, I am looking for guidance on how involved I should be to help her figure this out.
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Thank you for your reply. I appreciate your time and suggestions.
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That sucks, but it is unfortunately very common. I always tried to approach it as my kid could tear her ACL in week one or be benched as a sophomore when new freshmen arrive, etc., so I tried hard to help her pick a school where she could be happy even without her sport. Easier said than done and my kid walked away from her D3 offer in part because of that.
When we were in the midst of the recruiting process, however, I noticed that students were transferring on to some of the teams my kid was considering. I think your daughter should prepare herself for the fall as best she can, but maybe also start identifying a list of transfer options she can pursue if she arrives on campus and doesn’t like the direction things are going. I hope she ends up loving the new coach and has a great first year, so no Plan B is necessary, but sometimes it helps with anxiety just to have a Plan B in mind.
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You are welcome. The stress of possible cuts was so hard on my daughter and us the first few months of her freshman year - I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about it.
She is at an Ivy and none of us ever thought recruits would get cut, so when the coach announced week 1 no one was safe - it was horrible. She kept doing what she does best with her sport, jumping in and making friends on the teams and showing up everyday working hard. All we could say was if you get cut - we would support her to transfer after she stayed at the school for a full year.
Long story short - she was not cut, coach told her as a freshman she
is the future of the team and embodies what he is looking for in all his athletes - I still want to kick him in the shins 
and i think he remains clueless about how that impacted the first few months of practices.
Like your child - sport is a big part of their identity and their friends group and we were just there to encourage, listen and let her know she is an amazing person
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What are your options? Would she take a year off or try to get into another school if the coach won’t give her a guarantee? She could ask that question herself (“Coach, I’m really worried as coach X said I’d have a spot on the team and now you are saying there will be try outs. I love tennis and being on the team was a major part of my choosing this school”) so I don’t see the point in your getting involved with the coach at all.
In the 4 years my daughter was in school, I only contacted the coach twice, once to get a ticket to an event for my mother (it was a sports fundraiser and it was sold out) and at the end of the first year to discuss D losing one scholarship and hopefully getting a replacement (turns out she didn’t lose the first so all was fine). I don’t see what your getting involved could do at this point. The new coach won’t promise her a spot on the team or to be #1 on singles until she sees her play.
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Just wanted to add for future families who might look at this post — my kid was also asked to commit ED to play D3. She negotiated to apply RD instead, assuring the coach that she didn’t intend to play anywhere else, but needed to look at financial offers from D1 schools to satisfy her parents. The coach was nice about it and accommodated us.
I am sure the coaches don’t like it and not everyone would support an RD application, but I can attest that it is possible for those who are uncomfortable with a binding commitment that early for whatever reason (including possible coaching changes).
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Your involvement should be how much she wants. It sounds like her answer is none. Unless she is making a critical mistake (she isn’t), you need to follow her lead.
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All you can do is support her and listen. All she can do is control what she can control…train, workout, play tournaments this summer. Keep the coach updated, continue to build a relationship with him/her. Do the summer workout plan the coach prescribes.
I don’t mean any of this is a harsh way…I am not sure what her (or your) expectations were, but no matter what school/team she chose, she has to earn playing time. The tryouts are a little hiccup, but she is used to competing, no?
Even if the coach who recruited her had stayed and there were no tryouts, she would have had to earn playing time. Then, she would have to be prepared the following years for potentially better freshman and/or transfers to join the team. Coaches are ALWAYS trying to get better players than the ones they have.
As I said above, I know this is stressful. I have two college athletes, and help HS athletes thru the college recruiting process, so have seen and experienced a lot thru these athletes. Someone always wants their spots, no matter the level, from D1 to NAIA to JUCO. It is constant and relentless pressure to deliver results, all while being a student. I wish her good luck and I know you will support her in every way you can.
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Thank you! I really appreciate your reply.
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That’s interesting. Which D3 leagues were these? The schools we worked with in NESCAC, and Centennial told us coach support doesn’t mean much in the RD round. One told us that the only time they’re picking from ED2 or RD is if they weren’t able to fill their spots and someone they really want was still around. They also said that doesn’t happen much anymore.
I should clarify that the school where my kid did this, and all schools where I have seen other kids do this, were west of the Mississippi and were schools that were academic targets — not reaches — for the students involved. Most were rural, also.