<p>Hi Parents,</p>
<p>I am in need of some advice about a student that has lost their way and we are hoping to get back on track educationally and otherwise. She is a family member that attended a Ivy league school for two and a half years but did not graduate. It really wasn't the right school for her and compounding the problem is that she just lost one of her parents in January. </p>
<p>Have any parents had any luck with educational consultants that can coach students on their best next move? Specifically, what schools are best for the older or returning student and how to sort out what the student would really like to study? Also, are their any organizations that could refer me to a consultant in her particular city? Much appreciate advice or experience from parent posters!</p>
<p>bump…hello parents, please post…thank you.</p>
<p>Sounds like she could use some grief counseling first if she lost one of her parents just a few months ago.</p>
<p>That too. Parent was battling illness for many years…student has been adrift for several years. Spent all four years at University but only completed 2 years of classes. Was granted a year off during University and worked and stayed there. Retrospect not the best decision. Would have been better off at home IMHO. Also, parent that passed realized late in the game that she was not thriving but too sick to do anything about it at that point. Sad and worried extended family.</p>
<p>I agree that she could use a psychologist first to help her get her bearings and decide what she want to do. Then, if going back to school is her choice, a college consultant makes sense.
In this situation, she doesn’t have a high school college counselor to help her with the process, so why not hire a pro?
I’d probably start looking online for local people, and also get referrals from friends.</p>
<p>Wow! Moonchild you’re the best. That was exactly what I was looking for. The extended family all have good intentions but not the right approach. I think talking with someone independently is the best idea. That way their is not a perceived agenda. The studies show that the more students take off time and drift the less likely they are to complete a degree. Just want the best for her and she has so much to offer. I think it can happen to alot of kids when they don’t know what they really want to study or don’t have a distinct idea of profession. Also, she was far from home. Thanks for the website.</p>
<p>Before you jump into college counseling, I’d urge you to find a therapist who can work with your family member and help him/her deal with the death of a parent. Therapist can also help student figure out what he/she wants to do in the future. Why was the student adrift for years? Before going forward, it’s important to figure out an answer.</p>
<p>Thanks Broomfield, I don’t want to post too many details here but the student was dissatisfied with her performance in the classroom and may have underestimated the competition at an Ivy League school. In addition, she picked her major by default and was never really sure what she wanted to study/accomplish. Elderly grandparent paying tuition from far away and parents not paying enough attention to the situation. There is an urgency to get her back in school to finish up before source of money passes on. We would just like her to have a degree from somewhere in an area where she can employ herself that she would enjoy. Unfortunately these Ivy league students get a little caught up in the prestige of an Ivy league degree (that’s my opinion). We would like her to be practical and move on with her life.</p>
<p>Not quite an identical situation, but we have a family member that was in similar situation. She got tremendous help from a therapist who happened to have a background in education. With the help of the therapist, she designed a path to success that worked for her. She will finish her degree this year. The path was certainly not straight, but she is doing great.
One of the takeaways from all this was that sometimes baby steps are the only way to go forward.</p>
<p>Thank you, lastminutemom. Great post. Do you happen to know how they went about finding such therapist? Also, would you mind sharing please what city or town said student was located? Our student is currently out West but is from the middle south. Could see someone in a myriad of places. Thanks again.</p>
<p>We were in a somewhat similar situation with our 16 year old son. We just hired an independent consultant out of South Florida (we live in Florida) recommended by our doctor and a friend and she is on that list of Independent Education Consultants. She has been very helpful so far and we expect (and hope) that continues. Definitely get the child to a therapist and get recommendations on the consultants. We had two choices for our son and our doctor recommended Judi over the other consultant based on past experience. Good luck!</p>
<p>Since I am an Aunt in this situation it is a bit delicate. But oh, so important!</p>
<p>I also have a sixteen year old son, and all most 18 year old son and a 13 year old daughter. Wow! We feel exhausted as parents. Definitely the most work when you are all most done IMO! When the kids were little and they ran me ragged during the day… at least they went to bed at 8:00!</p>
<p>I appreciate your 2 cents and best of luck with your high school son.</p>
<p>Can’t the grandparent fund a Trust or put money aside (designated in a will) so that the life expectancy of the generous donor isn’t a factor in this kids ability to deal with her issues before having to race back to college? Seems like getting the kid back to college now just because the funds are there is a short sighted plan. And the recent death of a parent has surely exacerbated whatever other issues were there originally. Hugs to all of you- what a sad story.</p>
<p>The daughter of a good friend struggled for four years at her not-quite-ivy battling previously undiagnosed anxiety and depression. Like your niece, despite bad grades and at least one medical leave, she was unwilling to leave her college until the class she would otherwise have graduated with did indeed graduate. In that case the solution was for her to move home, live with her parents, find a job, and establish solid mental health status with the help of a competent therapist and her physician. After about six months, she returned to college at the local CC where she did indeed pull off a 4.0 which did much to help her recover her self-esteem. With her overall GPA out of the trash bin, she enrolled at a small liberal arts college within commuting distance of home where she has continued to succeed academically, and a fairly generic liberal arts degree is safely in sight.</p>
<p>One thing that has been critical for this young woman’s progress is that she is focused on a particular career goal that includes graduate-level education. With that in mind, she has been able to commit to her studies, and has been very strategic in her choice of major this time around. I would suggest that you worry less about your niece completing college on a particular time-table, and more about encouraging her to take the time needed to find a career goal that would make further study important (or not).</p>
<p>If she is emotionally attached to the notion of a degree from her Ivy, she should remain in contact with her advisor(s) there. As long as she wasn’t booted out for bad behavior, there is every chance that they will work with her and help her attain her degree from that institution even years from now.</p>
<p>We had a good experience with Erkis Educational Consulting, with a distant niece who lost both parents and needed some significant therapeutic schools. She was 13 at onset, and continued with them till 18, which sounds younger than your niece, but it seemed to be very helpful. The consultant took a personal interest, and really knew the schools. It all got organized very smoothly.</p>