<p>The line for me would be simple the moment you say the magic words “pre-med”. I’d want to help my kids in graduate school. I know too many doctors in hoc, and it has gotten worse, and were prevented from practicing the kind of medicine they want because of the crushing loan burden. I’d want to send my kid to a school where they were likely to be closer to the top of the heap, to get the internships, mentoring, and research opportunities that a top-of-the-heap student might get, and then be able to help out down the road. (And, for me, it would be the same with NEU and Brown or Penn or whatever.) </p>
<p>But then we never had the burden of so much money that full-freight at Emory would even have been a consideration. I also don’t have the burden of living on the east coast, where these distinctions make a difference, and Brown doesn’t simply mean a truck.</p>
<p>If the parents won’t break a sweat over $200k, go to Emory. Otherwise, certainly agree with comments about NEU and would bank the money for med school tuition. What NEU does best is it’s internship programs and has become very hot in this economy, seen as presenting a practical, better guaranteed path to employment after college (yeah, I know, nothings close to guaranteed). This may not present much of a plus to a kid who’s pre-med, might help if change of heart into another field, though.</p>
<p>Why was UNC nixed? (great school, great price, both in-state and out)</p>
<p>I know what you are saying, MIni, but the parents likely knew the premed part when all the apps were going out. Though in your case, and mine, full payment to a school like Emory would not have been on the table, what about choices that were within your affordability range. If it were a free ride to NEU, for example vs, right at what you can afford for EMory, and the DD wants Emory with all of heart.</p>
<p>Parents just like the thought of ‘free ride.’ I guess they just never thought that would be part of the equation, and this was a total surprise. I think if the free ride was from a lesser known school, or the full fare was at HYPMS, this discussion wouldn’t even be taking place.</p>
<p>I guess the question is where is the line drawn and what principles are here for the parent. What is important? If there is truly a monetary concern, it needs to be discussed. I think it is relative value that is the issue and probably should have been raised in the beginning of the whole college thing, but was not, but now needs to be discussed.</p>
<p>If there is truly a monetary concern, it should have been discussed before the application list was made.</p>
<p>Also, are the parents willing to put some of the savings from the full ride toward the student’s medical school costs (if the student goes to medical school)? If so, has this been made clear to the student?</p>
<p>Whatever should have been done, it’s over. It’s now and any discussion and revelations cannot be done any sooner. The parents need to voice their concerns and if they won’t pay for Emory, that’s their perogative. If they can’t pay for it without doing financial damage and should have made this clear from the onset, it’s too bad they did not do so, but now is the time to speak up. If they want to stop short of refusing to pay, though they don’t want to do so, then they should be supportive of the students choice.</p>
<p>I don’t suppose that most parents anticipate, and discuss with their child upfront, the possibility of their child getting a no-pay college education at an fine school like Northeastern. </p>
<p>Therefore, I can’t really hold it against parents who might have been willing to pay for an Emory but now hesitate, saying “But, but, who would have expected a place like Northeastern to be free?!”</p>
<p>If she is considering medical school, I agree with the other’s, follow the money. Her life will be so much easier, so much less stressful if she can get through UG with no debt. If her parents can afford $250K for UG, save that and let them pay for med school. If she can get out of med school with no debt, she will be on easy street!!!</p>
<p>It won’t be a a free ride if it is one of the new scholarships they are offering-it is full tuition which is still terrific but the room, board and other expenses will be about 15K a year so that cuts into the total out of pocket difference a little.</p>
<p>I agree the time to talk about these things is before the application process. We were clear with our son we would cover in full the cost of the in-state U-anything over and above was on him. Depending on how he did in school we would probably have covered more but it would have been in forgiving loans he had taken out from us-and that wasn’t something we even discussed with him as we wanted him to factor cost into his decision.</p>
<p>He ended up picking NEU-it was not the least expensive or most expensive option he had. </p>
<p>He was undecided and just declared a major but even though he loves writing never wanted to major in English or the Classics. My understanding is the LA are not the strongest there and they don’t have Classics-so if that is an option it wouldn’t be the best choice. Kids do change their majors-I did too when I was in college.</p>
<p>But the question now is whether or not the parents should refuse to pay for Emory and tell the kid, she has to go to NEU. My friends’ daughter got a very nice award to a local LAC, and the parents who can afford to pay told her that the money would be banked and she would get it after college if she chose to go there. With a toss of her head, she declined the offer and is going to a school on the other side of the country that is about the same as the turned down school but with no scholarship with the parents paying full freight. THe only way the girl would have gone to the college with the award is if the parents forced the issue and they did not want to do so.</p>
<p>Also, premed is a course of studies that often gets dropped. Nearly as often as engineering, so medical school is no sure thing. The parent can offer up the money to the student for after college, but at age 18, kids often don’t care. They want what has their attention right now and forget anything else. And as it is late in the process, whatever route the parents take, they have to stick to it. </p>
<p>I did not anticipate some awards and acceptances that my kids got, and it hurt that they turned some of them down for what I felt were not as good options and in some cases more expensive. Yes, my kids also turned down some full ride pluses. When that choice is there, some kids will take a different one than what you feel is optimal.</p>
<p>I don’t think that the parental choice boils down to simply force Northeastern versus pay full price for Emory. </p>
<p>Parents can, over the month of April, shape a discussion, bring the child to pause and think. The parents can assess the nature of the child’s desire for the full-pay school. The parents can decide whether or not, and how hard, to advocate for the low-cost option. Whether or not to offer financial incentives, or summer opportunity incentives, so that the child palpably feels the financial issues involved.</p>
<p>This sort of effort may or may not lead the child to the lower-cost school. At a minimum, though, it will help the child articulate a better case for the higher-cost school. Imho that would be important and worthwhile.</p>
<p>Personally, I would not pay full-price for expensive school X if the best reason that can be articulated for it, at the end of such a process, is “I have friends there.”</p>
<p>Well, the month of April is now down to the day, and what you have said is at the end of the process, it is possible that you refuse to allow the kid to choose. I have kids that are clever enough that they can come up with carefully crafted answer as an end to that discourse when the real reason can be “I have friends there”. The reason is often simply something like that, or “I just like the school better”. At the end of the day, it comes down to whether the parent will pay or refuse to pay which will drive the choice in many situations when the kid is determined to pick a given school regardless of how the parents FEEL about it.</p>
<p>Well, we’ll know today what the decision is for Friend’s D. It’s all about the ‘feel’ for her.
She liked the ‘feel’ of Emory because of friends there.
Northeastern ‘feels’ too cold (weather wise).
She didn’t like the ‘feel’ of UNC because of the surrounding area.
Her Dad is a savvy entrepeneur and can’t see why there’s even a decision to be made.
She’s a very smart, hard-working student all her life and her parents would like her to be happy/successful - But that full ride is getting in the way! :-)</p>
<p>It should ultimately be the D’s decision in this case. </p>
<p>Forcing college/career/other choices down the throats of children is a good way to alienate them and to cause subsequent problems down the road. </p>
<p>On the other hand, she should have a definite plan in case she’s part of the vast majority of pre-meds who don’t stay in the pre-med program or whose GPA is too low for med school(i.e. Anything below a 3.6 cumulative average and if one or more core pre-med science classes…especially orgo is below -A).</p>
<p>There is a difference between power and influence. Parents who choose not to exercise power over the college decision can often still have significant influence.</p>
<p>Anybody wanna take bets on which way the OP’s friend will go?</p>
<p>I’ll start: Of course, we all “know” she should go to Northeastern…</p>
<p>But I have been around kids like the OP’s friend’s kid more than once; and I bet the parents will be sending their little one to Atlanta next year…</p>