Why are we disagreeing? A kid doesn’t need to start in 9th. Or be obsessed. And etc. But balance is good.
They don’t need whistles and bells or major awards. It’s not hidden requirements. And you’re speaking to the exceptions when you suggest late 11th or early 12th is when they have the Aha! moment.
I don’t blame parents. Not unless we hear the evidence. Not all kids, as we know from recent posts, do the max prep. And you know some stem can be not just fierce competition, but Impacted at some unis. Find the right targets.