I feel like this is completely taboo in application essays, and I hope I don’t sound whiney writing about it.
This isn’t exactly my final draft, but here’s a summary of what I want to write.
I wanted to write about a breakup I had in sophmore year that affected me emotionally. My grades plummeted that year; I stopped giving effort in everything I was doing, and I even stopped showing up to afterschool practices for my sport. And I was diagnosed with tachycardia that same year (it’s somehow connected to the breakup, which I’ll mention in the essay).
That summer, I looked back at the year, and I was unsatisfied with myself, my grades, and secretly, in that relationship. I looked for ways to improve myself. I began volunteering in my community and since then, I’ve accumalated 200 hours of service. Helping people became my therapy. When junior year rolled around, I started a club that raises money for charity, I joined a tutoring program to help kids struggling in math, and I became a section leader for my choir, helping new singers improve their vocal skills. I enjoyed helping people who needed it.
Eventually, I recieved surgery for my tachycardia. And in my first ever visit to a hospital, I found myself surounded by people helping people in need. (I feel like it’s common to to mention this, but I could connect this why I want to major in bio)
Meanwhile, I really wanted to improve academically. I decided to take two AP classes, and an extra year of Chinese to challenge myself and worked hard at it. I brought my GPA from a 2.8 the previous year to a 3.6. I eventually found myself in another relationship, which ended similarly to the first. While it was just as painful, I didn’t let it affect my work.
Overall, I want to emphasize how I’ve grown throughout high school, how I’ve learned to cope and find success with bad situations, and how I found a love of helping others after stuggling myself.
What do you guys think? Is it worth finishing, or should I scrap it?