<p>A supplemental essay for one of the schools I'm applying to is the dreaded: "Why this school?" I have an idea, but I can't tell if I love it or hate it, so some outside advice would be wonderful. Here's my first draft, and it can't be more than 100 words, so I had to keep it brief. I also omitted the college's name for privacy reasons. </p>
<p>I first heard about (college name) in an interview with my favorite band. The front man said he was a (college name) alumnus, so like any good fangirl I researched the school. The band's music helped me out of a depression, and it makes me want to the best version of myself I can be; that all started at (college name). (College name) has more than just the a sparkling reputation and rigorous academics us applicants are all looking for; it has innovators and thinkers and people who are apologetically themselves. I yearn to be a part of the community that inspired the music that inspires me.</p>
<p>Thanks in advance for any input, and I'm super open to any criticism, (how else will it get better?!?), just please keep it as nice as you can :)</p>