Essay Advice: Why This College???

College Essays
1

<p>A supplemental essay for one of the schools I'm applying to is the dreaded: "Why this school?" I have an idea, but I can't tell if I love it or hate it, so some outside advice would be wonderful. Here's my first draft, and it can't be more than 100 words, so I had to keep it brief. I also omitted the college's name for privacy reasons. </p>

<p>I first heard about (college name) in an interview with my favorite band. The front man said he was a (college name) alumnus, so like any good fangirl I researched the school. The band's music helped me out of a depression, and it makes me want to the best version of myself I can be; that all started at (college name). (College name) has more than just the a sparkling reputation and rigorous academics us applicants are all looking for; it has innovators and thinkers and people who are apologetically themselves. I yearn to be a part of the community that inspired the music that inspires me.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance for any input, and I'm super open to any criticism, (how else will it get better?!?), just please keep it as nice as you can :)</p>

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<p>how you found out about the uni won’t get you accepted.
focus instead of how you will make the school a better place through your presence. </p>

3

<p>I agree with @bomerr‌; also, I think it’d be good to be more specific. Good luck!</p>

4

<p>Yeah, that makes sense. I’m going to scrap it and go in a new direction. Thanks for the advice :)</p>

5

<p>OP, I do think it’s a nice hook to start the essay. </p>

6

<p>@ohioisfornerds15‌ Check out these links pertaining to the “why this college” essay…</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.collegeconfidential.com/dean/tips-for-answering-why-this-college-essay-questions/”>http://www.collegeconfidential.com/dean/tips-for-answering-why-this-college-essay-questions/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“How to Answer “Why This College?” pt 3: Essay Samples | Applying To College”>http://applyingtocollege.org/2012/09/22/how-to-answer-why-this-college-pt-3-essay-samples/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Hope this helps. Best of luck! : )</p>