Essay critique/Essay swap?

<p>Well, now I’m scared. If it was about an essay, well, I’ve already applied to my UCs XD
Ok, I’ll try to get to it tonight! Probably when I need a break.</p>

<p>ok! well Thank You so much, I honestly can’t tell you how much I appreciate this!</p>

<p>Sorry it took so long /fail</p>

<p>I’m using my itouch, so it’s really difficult to edit on the doc itself so I’ll put all the stuff here. </p>

<p>-I would take out the part in parentheses about break, since I don’t think it matters too much and it’ll help save on space. Also for more space-saving if you’re looking to do so, some of the descriptive adjectives you feel might be unnecessary could just be cut out. I know it’s nice to paint a picture for the reader(s), but I think personal statements are supposed to be more economical. </p>

<p>-In general, I think you’re going to have to cut down your intro and talk more about the impact on you. Like my lit teacher tells us about the themes in our essays, “zoom out.” Maybe include philosophies about how this makes you appreciate the small things, or your time with others. Or a “live like you’re dying” philosophy. Of course, please use less clich</p>

<p>Anyone can PM me if they want to swap essays.</p>

<p>@Duchessa…
I am so sorry that I didn’t respond to this earlier, but I did see your message last night and I made some changes to it. Thank you so much for reading it and giving me some feedback! It really helped, Thank You so much! :)</p>

<p>@Duchessa I’ll critique your essay, if u don’t mind. you can PM me or reach me at will<em>i</em>am.not95 (at) yahoo.ca

  • tell me what your topic is and what school/schools you are applying to, so that i can gain a general understanding of the context in which this essay was written.</p>