<p>This is my common App essay. "Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story." What I am asking for is not necessarily grammatical corrections but are there different ways I should word some things? For instance the 2nd to last paragraph? I want to get across the point that through all of the adversity that I have faced, I have become more independent and matured as a learner and a person much more quickly than other students. Keep in mind my GPA hasn't been anything to brag about and this and the SAT is the only chance I have. Any help is much appreciated, and thanks in advance!</p>
<p>Common App Essay
Throughout my life I have had to overcome various obstacles and adversity. I was my parents first child, soon followed by a brother, Michael. Though obviously not intentional, my parents started putting much effort into his upbringing, which was only intensified once he was diagnosed with autism. With all of the speech therapists, early special education, and focus put in by my parents, it was the first push in my life towards independence. Only a couple years later, I was blessed with yet another sibling, Breanna, and yet again I was required to gain more responsibility as a big brother and an independent child. Three more children later, I was the oldest child of a Brady Bunch family with my three sisters and two brothers. </p>
<p>By no means am I saying I raised myself, however because of my situation I had to learn lessons on my own while also teaching my siblings the lessons I had learned. Both of my parents were hard-working, model parents who put everything into the upbringing of their children. My mother was a sales representative for Pfizer, often traveling and selling products across the state as one of their top saleswomen. My father was and still is a social studies teacher at Cardinal Newman, which became one of the sparks in my interest of history in politics. In third grade, my mother left her position at Pfizer to work for St. Jude Medical, a company that sells and implants pacemakers and defibrillators. She was able to stay at home more often and we were much more financially comfortable; life was going great for our family. </p>
<p>We were soon hit with my mothers diagnosis of Dermatomyositis, a disease which breaks down her muscle, attacks her immune system, and completely changed the woman I knew as my mother. She had to take time off from work, frequently travel for doctors visits, and struggle to fight the disease in which no cure has been found, as only a hundred and fifty people have it in the United States. In a time where I am heading into middle school and my friends were all beginning to experience their own beginnings of independence, I had already taken a role as a leader to both my siblings and my own upbringing. I was used to this by this point in my life, but even more stress was added on when my mother was laid off. We had gone from a financially comfortable family, to a family struggling to get by. I had to strengthen my leadership skills as well as become financially independent as a teenager.</p>
<p>I found a job at Lizards Thicket, a local family owned restaurant as a cook working nearly full time to support myself and my family as much as I could. Though this is no excuse for lacking grades, the added responsibility definitely affected my work ethic in school. I was always at football, work, or shuttling kids to various places when I was not at school and struggled to find time to study or even take a break from my fast paced life. I used all of this adversity to my advantage and turned it into an educational opportunity, having to grow into a mature young man much more quickly than my acquaintances.</p>
<p>Throughout the different forms of adversity that I have had to face and still face, I have learned many lessons including leadership in my family, work, sports, and school; independence as a person, having to often put my own food on the table and learn about myself as a person from a very young age; and work ethic to achieve not only the wants that I have including going to a good college, having a good job, and living a life as a good person but also to acquire basic needs such as feeding myself and teaching myself how to live in todays world much earlier than most of my acquaintances.
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