Essay? Right or Wrong to Disclose?

College Majors Theater/Drama Majors
1

<p>Posted in Essay Forum as well but since I am applying to BFA/BA Schools I thought I would welcome advise.</p>

<p>I am in the process of writing my essay for the Common App and I really want to open up and share something about myself that I don't see as a negative. I believe people should cherish the things that make them unique. Not sure if it will used against me. Part of me feels the schools that would reject me with this information aren't schools I would want to attend anyway. </p>

<p>I was born extremely premature at 26 weeks only 1 pound 4 oz.
Considering all the issues faced the only side effects that I have is extremely mild or High Functioning Asperger's Syndrome as a preschooler. I miraculously am smart, funny but a bit quirky, happy-go-lucky kind of girl who has many passionate interests (theatre) Dr.Who,Big Bang Theory, Music -( Indie,Classical and Broadway) Foodie, Reading, Anglophile etc. I guess you could call me a pretty nerd. It is part of who I am but doesn't define me. I was mainstreaming through an excellent public school system. My parents didn't want me to go to private school because they wanted me to learn to function in the real world.
I was never worried or concerned about being a bit different or popular but I was a confident, happy and excellent student who had a handful of good friends. I am sociable and outgoing - not a mean bone in my body. I like and except myself and if others don't get me it's their problem. I've been told by many adults I am extremely interesting...</p>

2

<p>I read somewhere that three things to avoid in a college essay are: death,disease and disability.</p>

<p>I believe that what’s important is not what you’re given (or what you lack) but the choices you make in how you live your life. Your circumstances certainly play a part (perhaps a large part) in who you are, but I don’t believe they ultimately define you.</p>

3

<p>Yes I agree - Asperger’s might be part of me, but I certainly don’t let it define me.</p>

4

<p>vivahg11, writing about your Asperger’s may come across to the colleges as though it defines you - even though this is not the case.</p>

<p>You say that you have many interests - I would suggest writing about one of those instead. </p>

<p>Best of luck!</p>

5

<p>There is no ‘right or wrong.’ However, from your own description, your Asperger’s doesn’t define you, you’ve been mainstreamed, etc. So I’m unclear why you would write about it. I did tutor a student with Asperger’s who did write about it–but he had not been verbal until he was five, had been mainstreamed only recently, and he felt his Asperger’s certainly defined who he was; he was always consciously aware of social norms, how to adjust, etc. He also felt his Asperger’s gave him strengths, in that he was hyper-focused on photography (one of his big e/c’s) and on mechanical engineering, also his strength. He was applying for mechanical engineering, so he did bring up his Asperger’s but in context of a) how he arrived at where he was today and b) how he felt it strengthened his ability to focus on engineering. He got into a number of excellent schools.</p>

<p>So that’s an example of where you would bring up the Asperger’s. The rule of thumb is does it shape who you are and where you’re going? if not, there isn’t really a compelling reason to bring it up. But if you feel it does, then by all means, write about it. When people warn against writing about illness etc., what they are really warning against are empty cliches, people using their illness as props to try to ‘impress’ the admissions that they have a ‘hardship.’ My advice is to not worry about what you think the admissions will want, and to write about something that deeply matters to you and also to convey how you will be an asset to their college and program.</p>

6

<p>Great advise, connections! I sent it to my D, she struggles with her CA essay and this is exactly what she needs to change the tone of it!</p>

7

<p>Thanks Connections…
You’ve been very helpful. My Asperger’s as given me gifts/strengths that has lead me to my specific major. I want my essay to bring across to the reader that I someone that brings my own specialness to the table. I’m certainly not looking for a pity party - woe is me.</p>

8

<p>I really am not an expert on this. . .</p>

<p>but I am wondering if the “pity party” might open up more doors for you. I would have thought that college admissions might be swayed by the traditional story of “student heroically struggles and finally overcomes their disability.” I understand that is not you, but if you “slant” your essay that way mightn’t it impress schools who may have a mandate to accept more disabled people? I am a lawyer, and I know that you meet the definition of “disabled” for the purposes of laws such as the ADA, even if you don’t consider yourself disabled. It might also open up some scholarship money.</p>

<p>Some of these programs are so competive you should use any advantage you have to get in. The people you are competing with certainly do.</p>

<p>I saw on youtube an film by the Conservatoire for Dance and Drama (in England) about their students with disabilities. A couple had disabilities similar to yours.</p>

9

<p>KEVP, your advice is so wrong, insensitive and insulting. I’m truly at a loss for words. But not for long.</p>

10

<p>KEVP, I read this earlier and cannot stop thinking about what you wrote. I disagree with you so strongly that I am having a hard time coming up with the words. I ditto what halfokum wrote.</p>

<p>Vivahg, your post illustrates so beautifully and clearly who you are, please do not ever go for the sympathy vote. You are far more than a diagnosis.</p>

11

<p>KEVP, you mentioned the Conservatoire for Dance and Drama.</p>

<p>Their website states:
‘The Conservatoire welcomes applications from disabled people and judges applicants solely on their talent and potential to develop the skills required for their chosen profession.’ </p>

<p>This message contradicts your (flawed) argument: it is stating that they judge applicants based on talent in spite of their disability, not BECAUSE of it. </p>

<p>I have dyspraxia and in an audition the director noticed that I was having difficulty with some of the directions (walking round slowly in a circle, sitting straight and signing my signature on a form). He asked me if I had a disability, I answered that I had dyspraxia, he nodded and we moved on to the next part of the audition. By no means was it the focus of the audition or the reason for my acceptance.</p>

<p>You mentioned taking advantage of a disability which is something you should NEVER do. There is little point in success if you have achieved it through dishonesty, and I admired the honesty of the OP. </p>

<p>I do not mean to come across as rude, but please think about what you are writing and the audience that reads this forum.</p>

12

<p>“My Asperger’s as given me gifts/strengths that has lead me to my specific major.” </p>

<p>This is interesting. I don’t know that writing about a disability equals taking advantage of it any more than the lesbian actress from a conservative family who wrote about it was using that as an unfair advantage. Although, when we heard about her topic and school choice we figured she was getting in. She did. Actually, I’m not so sure there is any such thing as an unfair advantage. If it’s a big part of who you are then that’s significant.</p>

13

<p>There is indeed nothing wrong with highlighting a strength be it a special talent, strength of character that you can demonstrate by over coming adversity, special awards, athletic skills, incredible writing skills, whatever. But there is a big difference from all of those things and writing an essay that is deliberately "slant"ed with the goal of creating a “pity party” which will sway college admissions by telling “the traditional story of ‘student heroically struggles and finally overcomes their disability.’” I’m quoting KEVP with the things he put in quotes.</p>

<p>So

  1. We’ve got a student to who was encouraged to compromise her integrity to write something that is not her story at all.
  2. Apparently college admissions folks are bleeding heart idiots who will just suck that stuff up because of quotas they need to fill
  3. And students with disabilities should assume that they get an express pass to the front of the college line just because they have a disability regardless of their accomplishments (or lack of accomplishments because people are people and some work hard despite their disabilities and some choose not to). I’ll be sure to tell my son he has wasted his time and should have just coasted.</p>

<p>I’m fairly sure there is no one left untouched by this outrageous post. You should have stopped at the very first sentence before the …</p>

<p>Connections reply was all the advice you needed vivahg11. It was excellent and should have been the last word.</p>

14

<p>I admitted I was not an expert, then explained I was “wondering”. Then I was asking whether the things I was saying “might” . . . “might” . . . “might” . . . be true.</p>

<p>I am still wondering. I took the words “pity party” from the OP, it’s not a phrase I ever have otherwise used.</p>

<p>Are admissions counsellors “bleeding hearts?” Some universities are fairly notorious for being liberal. Theatre departments tend to be quite liberal.</p>

<p>I’ve seen people use all kinds of ways to take advantage of scholarship money. I remember a girl I knew in high school who researched her family tree and found out she had a certain amount of Hispanic ancestry. Then she used that fact to apply for all the Hispanic scholarship money, even though she really didn’t identify as Hispanic.</p>

<p>You may be surprised to hear this, but I HAVE A DISABILITY. It’s a real enough disability that I have been eligible for government programs for people with disabilities. I have also been involved to some extent in the disability rights movement, and really have views at the more “militant” end of that movement.</p>

<p>Although I am looking at graduate school rather than undergraduate programs, I’m also thinking about how I will present myself to grad schools, and what I will write in my admissions essays. I’m thinking about what I can say about myself that will make me stand out from all the other applicants. Looking at my theatre work that I have done and the work that I hope to do in the future, it really is a fact that my feelings as a disabled person do tend to have at least some (and depending on the show, could have quite a lot of) expression in my plays. There are one or two plays about disability that I hope to direct at some time in my life. Of course, I don’t ONLY want to work on plays about disability.</p>

<p>What else do I have to talk about that will make me stand out from the other applicants? Maybe my work as a lawyer, but that hasn’t yet had an effect on my theatre work, although I am sure it will in the future.</p>

<p>Unlike vivahg, I am more militant about the fact that I self-identify as a person with a disability. Even if there are times and places where I make a conscious decision to hide my disability, I am still aware that at those times I am still a disabled person who is “passing”. And not always succesfully. But this is clearly very different from vivahg’s attitude towards her disability.</p>

<p>Why did the Conservatoire for Dance and Drama make this film they posted on youtube about their students with disabilities? Why did they consider it so important to tell the world “We have students with disabilities, we have services for students for disabilities . . ?” I got the impression that they were trying to recruit more applicants with disabilities. I could be wrong, but if that isn’t the reason what is the reason?</p>

<p>(And as I mentioned Conservatoire for Dance and Drama, I do hope that since vivahg identified as an Anglophile she is at least looking at schools in England. Whether or not she agrees with anything else I say. Vivahg sounds at least like an interesting person, and someone I would enjoy working with in the entertainment field. Whatever she thinks of me.)</p>

<p>KEVP</p>

15

<p>RealKEVP, I am only writing this because some high school students may be reading your posts and may think you are giving viable advice.</p>

<p>You are not. Your advice is simply wrong and actually borders on unethical. </p>

<p>Just because you have a disability means nothing. You should rightly be proud of your own achievements, but having a disability doesn’t make you an authority on advocating misleading, manipulative or fraudulent statements, or, as you put it ‘taking advantage’ of ‘bleeding hearts.’</p>

<p>Furthermore, you are outright incorrect that admissions ‘want’ ‘pity parties.’ </p>

<p>I do happen to be an ‘expert’ on this for what it’s worth. I have been a private tutor/consultant for college admissions (and SATs/ACTs) for many years now. I’m also a teacher.</p>

<p>Students: for the essay, write about what you are passionate about, and convey to the college how you’d be an asset to their program. Do not worry about it being ‘interesting’ or ‘overcoming hardships’ or any other cliche you’ve heard. Write about what you feel defines you. Just remember that you are also conveying to them what you have to offer to their community, so avoid negative personality traits (such as hate, blame, lack of responsibility). If you have a disability, you are free to write about it or not, based on how much you feel it defines who you are now and where you’re going, and how it fits into the program itself. </p>

<p><em>DO NOT</em> commit fraud, ‘exaggerate,’ or otherwise frame yourself in what you imagine the admissions ‘want.’ Again, what the admissions want is someone who will be an asset to their program. Think of it as a job interview. When you interview in a job, that is what you present: How can you add to the team? What can you bring to the table? That is what the colleges are interested in learning. </p>

<p>They are not ‘bleeding hearts’ out to ‘get’ people with disabilities. The very idea is both insulting and false.</p>

<p>The Conservatoire, by posting about students with disabilities, wants to ensure that highly qualified students who happen to have a disability do not refrain from applying. They are not ‘recruiting’ students with disabilities. They are <em>welcoming</em> any and all applicants. The two things are very different.</p>

<p>I’m sorry I’m speaking forcefully here but I feel I have to because high school students read this. I realize the high schoolers are intelligent and can think for themselves, too, but I just cannot let this post stand on the chance that someone will be misled.</p>

16

<p>Thanks for this, connections.</p>

17

<p>Well said, Connections.</p>

18

<p>I have an idea - why not write your essay about your conflict of including your disability in your essay? Interesting twist on the topic I think.</p>

19

<p>I don’t for one moment belive that anyone here has all the answers. Since that is the case, I am going to keep wondering, no matter what any of you say.</p>

<p>How will I be an asset to the programs I am applying to? What defines me? What do I have to offer to their community?</p>

<p>Yes, one of the things I am offering is indeed my perspective as a disabled person. My story as a disabled person. That is reflected in the theatre work I have done and will continue to be part of my theatre work.</p>

<p>If I leave that out, then who am I? What else do I have to offer that isn’t just exactly the same as what every other applicant is offering? And if I have nothing different to offer, why would anyone choose my application over anyone else’s?</p>

<p>Don’t talk about hate? There are things that I hate. There are injustices in the world that I hate. And that also is reflected in both my theatre work and my legal work.</p>

<p>I would never and have never suggested to anyone that they commit fraud. But I have also been in at least one situation where to conceal my disability would constitute fraud.</p>

<p>People can identify themselves in any number of ways. But for many people (including myself) there are certain situations where we are given a label by society that maybe we didn’t ask for. Then our story becomes the story of how having this label affects our whole life. And that is also something that my theatre work has been about. I also meet people for whom that has apparently never happened. People who have always been given the freedom to create their own identities. I don’t understand their lives any more than they can understand mine.</p>

<p>(But I will also say I like amtc’s suggestion above.)</p>

<p>KEVP</p>

20

<p>KEVP, you should do whatever you want. I picked this fight with you but I think I probably just got there first. You often inject provocative, sometimes out of the box thinking into this forum which sometimes generates really great discussion. </p>

<p>This time though, so many of us that are not shrinking violets by any means, are both outraged, and at a loss for words. That should tell you something but apparently, it isn’t. Connections offered very thoughtful advice in posts 5 and 15 which also applies to you, even as a prospective student who is more than twice the age of most of the students discussed here. You are resistant to that advice and that is certainly your prerogative as a fully formed adult. I’m thinking that arguing further with you will just be fruitless and unkind. I surrender the fight.</p>