Estates and executors -- what do you wish you'd known

Do you have Power of Attorney? That will help. Is there an advanced care directive? And based on what you know- is there reasonable liquidity in the assets (i.e. can you get your hands on 50K in a short period of time if you need to move the elderly person into assisted living?)

Figure that out- and then don’t worry about what you clearly can’t control… you don’t want to be selling stock in a down market to cover a few months of assisted living with an aide if planning ahead can accumulate some cash in a money market account-- AND if you’ve got POA to sign checks, enter into a contract on the person’s behalf, etc.

Sigh indeed. Hugs.

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I have POA. Dunno about the rest. Will find out; tysm for the questions to ask!

If you can get your name one at least one of the bank accounts hat will help with the immediate expenses. Also being in the safety deposits box.

My dad made most of his accounts payable on death to us so that helped too.

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From what I’ve read on other forums such as Bogleheads, many financial institutions do not accept POA’s that are not done with that firms own forms. Even ones that appear to be clearly legal and were drafted by an attorney. It might be better to check now before it sounds like you need it. The usual caveats: I’m not an attorney and don’t claim personal expertise in the area.

One way people have worked around this is to have assets in the name of a revocable trust. A trust provides rules for how successor trustees gain control which can be upon the death of the original trustee and it may also provide for attestation of incompetence by two or more physicians.

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This is very true. TIAA won’t deal with me, even though a court appointed me POA and I sent in a certified copy of the court order. They are insisting my almost 92 year old father in the end stages of dementia, bedridden and on hospice fill out and sign one of their own forms.

Intensely annoying.

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That does sound like a pain. But one thing I’ve started to realize about POA is that there is no official “registry”. So if a person changes their mind and assigns POA to somebody else, there is nothing to keep the original person from showing an outdated version (if they have it). Not an issue in your case I know. But perhaps that is why some places are overly cautious?

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How red tape may add to the grief (and some advice on how to prevent some of these issues):

https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/after-a-loved-one-dies-red-tape-adds-to-the-grief/

Just a reminder that in many cases it can make sure to just put your heirs on your assets directly (as beneficiary or TOD - Transfer on Death). For example, my husband and I set up most assets with each other as co-owner…. then the two kids a 50/50 beneficiaries (once we are both gone)

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Isn’t a trust only useful for estates that are at the level of triggering estate taxes, like several million dollars?
I’m not dealing with that much $$, just a bunch of investment properties that don’t add up to estate-tax level.

A Trust avoids probate which may or may not be expensive and slow in your state. In California, probate is both expensive and slow. With a trust, the Trustee could put the properties of the deceased up for sale almost immediately. With probate, gotta wait for a court date to get approval from the Judge, which in CA can take months.

Ditto paying final bills, unless everything is PoD/ToD.

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Not a T&E attorney, but this is what I learned in the past. Real property is probated in the state where it is located. It makes sense to put out of state rental or vacation property into some vehicle that would avoid probate if a TOD or JTWROS is not an option.

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Oh BB that article really hits home. Intellectually of course I know companies have to make sure no one is doing anything fraudulently. But the constant asking for documents, and the random letters that show up in the mail can be very upsetting.

I had one insurance company that, despite my dad being the beneficiary on mom’s policy, insist on getting death certificates for HER parents, to make sure there would be no other claims. Mathematically, her parents would be about 118 years old, we need to document that they pre-deceased her?? That was not a lot of fun to deal with while grieving.

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Interesting feedback. Well it is a good reminder to make sure insurance beneficiary info is current. I am grateful that my mother updated her beneficiary info after she divorced… and later updated again with married names for me and sister. (I assume it would have worked if maiden names, just easier this way.)

If anybody has a website with good checklist of this kind of thing, please post - THANKS!

I am helping to organize an Estate Planning workshop at church. (It is mainly to help members ensure their paperwork is in order, for benefit of their family. If they want to earmark something for the church we’ll help… but it’s not intended as a hard sell). Looking to have resource info from a few sources.

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Boston College offers a free guide which could be helpful for those starting the process.

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You might consider the Area Agency on Aging
https://cdhs.colorado.gov/our-services/older-adult-services/state-unit-on-aging/legal-assistance-for-older-adults
Or workshops offered by the bar association gor seniors, such as

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I learned the hard way, when my mother passed before my FA. The lawyer was useless; he was the one parents had used to,set up the plans.

I consolidated 21 fund families into 2. I had a new bank account and security box done with my FAs name and mine. I had my FA sign a paper to sell his condo, though he really didn’t know what he was doing. In fairness, I did not put it on the market until his death.

I am pleased to report that I never needed a lawyer to settle this estate. Also, I only needed a few death certificates, though had ordered 5. A total contrast to my MOs estate, where 25 was barely enough.

It can be done.

Only 5 death certificates? I’m impressed. My mother had a very uncomplicated estate, and I was the executor and main heir (my two kids were the only others, and they each got half of her jewelry). I ordered 12 certificates initially and had to get five more. I needed them for everything…bank accounts, CDs, turning off the utilities (even though those were in my name), closing out her lease due to death, etc. No real estate or real property to sell…just bank accounts…and “stuff”….lots of “stuff”.

I think I ordered 18 but only used 5 originals, since some places accepted a copy of the original, and the County mailed the originals back after doing whatever they do.

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Thumper, all my fathers bills were sent to me. I didn’t need death certificates to shift utilities to new owners. This could be a state by state issue.

All of my mother’s bills except her rent were in my name. BUT to get things terminated…I had to have a death certificate. Don’t ask me why. Something about the location was hers, not mine.

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