Mine is thinking of TOD on her real estate properties, she doesn’t have money for will or trust, when she decides to do is another story.
Update for us : the missing death certificates have come back to the funeral home, with a No Such Address stamp. But at least now DiL knows where they are.
Funeral home has offered to deliver them all to the lawyer, but DiL wants possession of them as she believes she will be doing the work of contacting insurance, etc. I have tried to gently remind S/DiL that it’s the work of the executor, but otoh maybe they know something I do not. But at least it is progress, 6 weeks after the death.
8 Likes
Hope the funeral director tracks the death certificates this time.
2 Likes
How possible is it to move the handling of the deceased to a different funeral home if the current one is not providing satisfactory service?
OP- some institutions will be fine dealing with your D, others will only speak with the executor. So YMMV. Being the sole heir does not mean that your D has the fiduciary responsibility for the estate as the executor does… she cannot file taxes for the estate (or cash a refund check if there is one due!), etc.
I’d hate to see yet another delay in getting things moving. A realtor will be happy to discuss selling the house with your D, for example, but in my state, she would not have the legal authority to sign the contract with the realtor for the listing- that’s the job of the executor.
2 Likes
Bingo. The funeral home where my dad ended up would only act upon my authority as Executor as I was the only one in position to approve them doing stuff (and that they would get paid). When a local sister asked for a copy of the death cert, they e-mailed me asking if it was ok that they provide it to her. I immediately approved by e-mail and copied all of the relevant parties.
2 Likes
I’m guessing that the lawyer is happy to help – and is encouraging local D to be engaged – so lawyer can keep billing. If Executor steps up and does his/her job, not much need for a local attorney.
1 Like
DiL is nearly done with the funeral home part, there is just final adjustments to the invoice to settle. Everyone, generally, has been very compassionate and helpful. One of her childhood friends has an established realtor in the family who sells in the area, and it seems likely she will hand the entire mess of the home to that person.
Glad to know that some entities will deal with her even unofficially – the bank, for instance, was happy to freeze accounts for 30 days without a death certificate and the retirement fund sent her paperwork to complete, said they wanted to have it started so when certificates were available she’d have some funds to pay these other expenses.
1 Like
Even an established realtor who knows the family cannot engage in a legal contract to list the home with someone who is NOT the legal representative of the estate!
Suggestion- have the lawyer send a one page “here’s what you need to know” to the executor and your D. It should outline what your D as the sole heir CAN legally do, what the executor MUST do, and what only the lawyer can do. You guys are all over the map here! If the executor decides to decline based on the requirements-- then the lawyer can find another executor. But an informal delegation of responsibility is only going to cost more time and money in the end.
Does anyone know if the deceased was required to file a tax return for 2021, and DID the deceased file that return? Was the deceased waiting on a refund, was the deceased required to file estimated taxes in 2022 and if so, did that happen? Are the property taxes on the house paid up?
etc. I know you just want to help… but listing the house with the relative of a friend isn’t helpful until you understand what legal, financial, and tax obligations need to be fulfilled. Have the lawyer prepare a one page cheat sheet so everyone understands who does what…
3 Likes
Yes, that is all understood. The house is a very very long way from being listed with anyone. The executor is not going to decline, but he is an elderly man who lives several states away. DiL expects many things may be delegated by executor to her, as is appropriate and legal. Relative of a friend is pertinent here because real estate agents with no particular attachment to the situation are not going to want to tackle this. And the relative is a well known established realtor in an established promiment firm, not a hobbyist.
No one has any idea of the state of taxes, accounts, insurance etc. and the executor/lawyer will have to figure out what to do, but first they need information from inside the house. No one has been in the house since February (other than a brief search for the will) and will be unable to enter for some time. DH and I aren’t doing anything other than listening.
3 Likes
Hugs 
. This is so difficult and glad your dil has a helping loving in law family to listen to her
2 Likes
The fact that the Executor lives several states away is not relevant!. (Estates get closed from afar each and every day. The work is the same, just needs a few more notary signatures and over night mail charges.)
The fact that the Executor is ‘elderly’ may be relevant bcos he might not want the job. (No shame in that, as being Executor can be a lot of work.) If “elderly man” does not want the job, then it goes to next in line per the Will/Trust. If no one is named as next in line, then I believe the court has to appoint someone, not the attorney.
“Relative of a friend” is also not relevant. Selling a house is selling a house. Any local competent realtor can handle selling a house of a deceased as it’s quite common. And, of course, the Executor, as fiduciary, needs to ensure that he hires a good agent to get the best net price for the estate. That may be relative of a friend, or not.
Nearly all of this should be treated as arms-length business transactions.
3 Likes
My mother was not super wealthy, but she was very well organized with a Will etc (vintage 1999 but accepted). I had excellent listings of her diversified accounts. Also most assets had co-owner, beneficiary or TOD designation. It was still a lot of work to sort through the Will, but no nightmares.
CO is a simple state for probate etc. As one of the two heirs and the executor, I handled almost everything with just the death certificate. I did need to arrange Letter of Testamentary for two things - some stock she forgot TOD and one pesky little old credit union account that she used only for its good deal for VISA credit card. I never needed to hire a lawyer.
One thing she did that I didn’t quite realize ahead of time was to put me as co-owner (not beneficiary) at the credit union we both used. I could have used one of her/our checks (which only had her name/address) to pay funeral home bill. Almost as good was the ability a few days later to use her converted account to pay myself back. The other heir was my sister, who trusted all the records I kept.
TIPS:
- Have a Will (and POA and medical POA) and make sure somebody knows where stored
- Have a good listing of your assets, showing designated beneficiaries , TOD and co-owners. Ditto for insurance policies.
- If simple situation, designate beneficiaries at the assets themselves… avoid probate.
- If no spouse, consider having a child be co-owner at your checking account bank
5 Likes
This is the best advice. Come from a family that gets along and trusts each other. That definitely simplifies a lot of things!
5 Likes
So…my dad had life insurance from Veteran’s Administration and I messed around looking stuff up for the claim. But they already paid him! Seems at 95 or 96 they give up and just send you a check. Yea!
And then scrawled on a piece of paper and stuffed into another random file I found a list of all the insurance he had marked with how much and what type (and if it was still good or not)–that scrap of paper saved a lot of time for me! Write it all down!
7 Likes
Very true! I also know people who ended up declining to be an executor for loads of reasons. I believe you can put someone on to assist the executor and even act on their behalf? Such as taking care of the some of the legal stuff…
With my parents my older sister and stepsister are the executors because they’re the oldest. But we all get along and I expect things to go well when my stepdad does pass eventually. I have a friend whose husband is the co executor of his parent’s estate along with his sister. It worked out well because his sister was a stay at home mom and she had more time to take care of all the paper work and legal stuff. That is one nice thing about having co-executors and it’s nice to have a second set of eyes with legal stuff.
One thing to realize is that many times who is named executor doesn’t matter that much in a lot of scenarios unless the executor is COURT APPOINTED which is much different than who is named in the will. My sister is executor but we both are beneficiaries and that carries the most weight. If the will went through probate (trying to avoid) and the court appointed her executor then it would go to a different level.
fwiw: Most of the ‘books’ on the topic recommend against multiple Executors/Trustees, as that means every action requires that many signatures. It can be a hassle if all of them are not close-by.
6 Likes
I had a telephonic hearing with the Probate Court judge yesterday. One of the things we did was ask to appoint my sister as a co-executor because a) she lives in the county where probate is being handled; b) she is a tax lawyer; and c) we work very well together.
It took months to get the hearing, which our lawyer said used to happen within 5 days pre-pandemic. The judge, it turns out, was just voted out in the election – will be gone in 8 or 10 days.
2 Likes