<p>When someone wants you to do something that is unethical or would result in unethical consequences- for instance to cover up a crime or to tell them where the Frank family is hiding, it would be unethical to comply IMO.
Of course that is what torture is about- to get people to comply against their will.</p>
<p>The discussion we would have in our house is what is the behavior we would want to model for our kids ... and we will land on following the system and living with the consequences. We may also try to change the system but we won't end run it ... and parenthood has made this much easier to do for us.</p>
<p>I agree that this is important.
I haven't lived in any other countries with more restrictive behavior, and its probable that if I did, I would find myself afoul of the "law", but I don't know if I would be able to convince myself I was behaving unethically.</p>
<p>In our country, we can enjoy civil disobedience & I think this is an important right to have- not that it has anything to do with lying for financial gain.</p>
<p>Those practicing civil disobedience, should be willing to accept the consequences of their actions- and they often do, in order to stick with their principles.</p>
<p>Ive noticed that kids really pay attention to what you say and do & what you don't say or do. If someone is doing something I don't approve of, I would probably be more likely to say something if my kids( or any kids) were there, than if I was there by myself.
For instance if someone was making a racist/sexist joke.
When you are silent, kids assume you agree. Even if it wasn't something I really wanted to get into, I have tried to show my kids- that you don't have to listen to that, even if they are your relatives.</p>
<p>I would also lie- for instance- not concerning a job application, because if you do you can be fired for cause- and not only that , if you are harmed on the job you can't sue, but if for instance I had friends who were undocumented political refugees who would be harmed if they had to go back to their country, while at the same time I would put effort toward changing policy, I would also lie about their whereabouts, if I knew that it could buy them some time in hopes that their legal status could change.</p>
<p>But this case - is relatively simple.
Its not like turning down the scholarships is going to eliminate her chance to attend college, or telling the university about them, is going to harm her in some way.
There are other colleges- although it sounds like, the family decided it could afford this one with or without the scholarship.It also sounds like that the school will reduce loans instead. but the EFC will be the same.</p>
<p>Accepting the scholarships, and not telling the school, getting so to speak "free money", will benefit them in the short term, by making it a little easier financially.</p>
<p>But if we are really interested in making life "easier" in the short term, we wouldn't be so focused on colleges.
Long term goals require hard work and planning-but can have big payoffs.
Teaching your kids ( and yourself) that it is better to be the ant instead of the grasshopper will get them farther in life- than teaching them to focus on the short term benefit.</p>
<p>Im sorry I got preachy- I know it isn't fun to listen to- I live with a grasshopper myself ;)</p>