Every Parent's Nightmare

Parent Cafe
61

<p>[What</a> Lauren Spierer?s friend and roommate is telling us - National Criminal Profiles | Examiner.com](<a href=“http://www.examiner.com/criminal-profiles-in-national/what-lauren-spierer-s-friend-and-roommate-is-telling-us]What”>http://www.examiner.com/criminal-profiles-in-national/what-lauren-spierer-s-friend-and-roommate-is-telling-us)</p>

<p>I don’t know how accurate this is regarding the events of the night she went missing, but there are some comments from her roommate.</p>

<p>According to her roommate (based on the info in this link):</p>

<p>“Hadar (her roommate) said that up until 12:30 a.m. on Friday, July 3, she and Lauren were hanging out with another friend who lived down the hall in Smallwood Plaza, where the two were roommates. But then Lauren left unexpectedly. Lauren went to Kilroy Sports Bar where she ran into Corey Rossman, a fellow student she barely knew and had only met once before, at the Indianapolis 500, when she and Hadar were introduced to Corey and Corey’s roommate Mike Beth by Jay Rosenbaum, a “close friend” of Hadars.”</p>

<p>Also according to the info in this link, it was her boyfriend who was the last to see her, not Corey. Her boyfriend is also the one who suspected she was missing. Her roommate didn’t report her missing.</p>

<p>“Hadar (her roommate) did not report her roommate Lauren’s absence to anyone later that morning, nor even when Lauren was not back at the time Hadar had to go to class. She said that it was Lauren Spierer’s boyfriend who first brought her attention to her friend’s disappearance, when he called to ask for a key to their apartment, so he could check up on Lauren since she hadn’t answered her cell phone when he called; It had been answered by Kilroy’s bar personnel instead”.</p>

62

<p>While we know very little and it is all speculation, I was writing upthread that this doesn’t come across as some random abduction because of the fact that there was some altercation that night between friends of Lauren’s boyfriend and Rossman, whom she was with late at night (in one another’s apartment). It seems too coincidental that that incident also happened that night within hours of her going missing. Not blaming any particular individual as I have no information to go on, but it just contributes to the idea that Lauren being missing may not be related to random strangers.</p>

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<p>The headline of the linked article in post 61 is not great grammar!~ :)</p>

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<p>I know it is tempting to look for the solution to this mystery in the wee-hours comings and goings here, and I am sure the probabilities favor that. But, still, it seems like garden variety college-student drama of the sort that, on any weekend night in the spring, probably involves tens of thousands of 20-year-olds. If a college student is a victim of random street crime at 4am, there’s probably a pretty high likelihood that he or she had some relationship drama happening around the same time.</p>

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<p>I haven’t been following this too closely, but the boyfriend is the suspect who leaped to my mind. I saw an interview in the early days where three friends of hers were saying how wonderful her boyfriend was to her. Two things about that struck me: 1) At the time, no one else had mentioned him. Just seemed odd. 2) Sometimes a too-wonderful boyfriend is really just overly possessive. If she was seen out at 3 a.m. leaving a bar with some other guy, who got in a fight with the bf’s friends, I could see one of those guys calling their friend to report what they saw. Boyfriend goes down to investigate, and things get out of hand.</p>

<p>How come the bf hasn’t been in the media? I don’t even know his name.</p>

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<p>JHS, yes, of course, nothing is remotely conclusive at this point. Just noting that the incident of an altercation that night (which isn’t the same as simple “drama”) is hard to ignore.</p>

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<p>Youdon’tsay, I also think this is a plausible situation. </p>

<p>I just want to say, however, the fact that her girlfriends commented early on that Lauren has a nice boyfriend is not odd at all to me. When an adult female is missing, a boyfriend or husband is always one of those investigated. The boyfriend is now back home in NY with his parents.</p>

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<p>I think what struck me as odd was that this story was about the search and a vigil, and these friends are talking about him but he was nowhere to be found. </p>

<p>I would hope that if I went missing in college my wonderful boyfriend would be there, leading the search and talking to people, not back home with his parents, as I now know he is.</p>

69

<p>Youdon’tsay, I think I read in some article today that the boys who were with or saw Lauren that night, including the BF (who was not with her that night, at least by accounts), were asked by authorities to not partake in the searches.</p>

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<p>That makes sense. But he could have stood with her parents at the news conference or something. The girls were just sooo effusive in their praise of the bf. Just seemed weird. I wish I could remember what network it was; I’d try to find it.</p>

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<p>Boyfriend is back home in NY. He has made a statement. He was the one who called the parents. He is a person of interest and being asked for DNA. He, along with the some of the other young men have been asked to keep quiet about the case, and not to join the searches. He also has an attorney advising him. He is also the subject of a lot of suspicions as are all of the young men who were in Lauren’s company that night, as well as any who know her.</p>

<p>The way it often goes with these things, is that those who know the victim are involved. I hope not, if anything untoward has happened as all of these are young adults at college like so many I know. Hits a little too close to home. </p>

<p>The altercation that occurred is on tape, the police say Lauren was not involved. The student who was punched in that fight, had apparently had other problems in that building as he was on the “not welcome” list there, What is not being said but is widely known is that he and Lauren had been drinking. A lot. That he has no memory might be attributed more to the drink than the punch. It appears as though he were in such bad shape that Lauren walked him home as he was in no shape to do so himself. Too bad no one there did the same for her, as several people in that other building did see her off. Like I said earlier, they don’t come off well here, as their activities that night which were probably typical, were dangerous and certainly not chivalrous and illegal. Most of them were underage for drinking. Who knows if other contraband were not involved too. </p>

<p>The parents, police, and mainstream press are trying to keep on task to the pressing concern which is finding Lauren. The rest are all details right now and if she is found in good health won’t matter a bit. But I am sure the pressure is on all of those young men who had anything to do with Lauren, whether they were with her or not, especially the boyfriend. I don’t think I would want my son in town under such circumstances, since the instructions to stay out of the search, matter, discussion would be hard to obey, since that is the main event there, and media attention is focused on any and all there. Too much attention, too much stress , too easy to make some mistake.</p>

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<p>The Journal News - lohud.com - states that the BPD heard rumors that Lauren overdosed on cocaine. If this is the case, whomever she was with could have panicked and hid the body. I don’t have a good feeling about this. I can’t imagine what her family is going through.</p>

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<p>There are a lot of rumors and theories floating around out there that I have refrained mentioning here since that is all they are, I’ve also refrained from mentioning the young men’s names though the press has released them, including that of the boyfriend. It is a rough go for them too right now , and if any of them are involved in foul play, serves them right, but if not, it’s quite a gauntlet to undergo. Yes, they do not come off well in their activities that night, and I’m sure their parents, attorneys, friends, classmates, acquaintances and comments and rumors everywhere have let them know that. I think even if they were a bit slow on the uptake, they understand that now, that they were stupid that night, and what dire consequences might have occurred because of that. </p>

<p>How anyone could know that Lauren ODed on anything is beyond me, however, since Lauren is nowhere to be found. They would need to have her around to know if she ODed. Perhaps she took a lot of cocaine along with drink and a number of other drugs–anything is possible, but she walked out of that apartment building and down the block. That much seems to be clear. It’s what happened thereafter. If she were totally out of it, I can’t see how her friends let her walk out alone. Bad enough that it was allowed if she was in OK, if slightly out of it shape, but if she was truly incapacitated to the OD point, that is truly criminal. I doubt that. The reason they let her go, is because apparently kids, even young women walk around alone there all of the time so it was not considered a big deal. I think that is outright foolish, but it happens everywhere. But to let someone walk alone who you know has taken way too much contraband, is a whole other issue. Anyone who is saying this and personally knows could have some liability on his/her head.</p>

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<p>College kids do not understand the dangers of walking alone at night, especially on campus when-- up until about 3am, there are almost always people about. My roommate used to walk across town alone at night all the time. One night we were walking home from a club together and an extremely drunk man started following us, and followed us for several blocks, and she protested when I insisted we call 911 and get out of there-- and that was early on in her freshman year, she continued to wander around alone at night after that without a care. She just seemed to have some sort of mental block against accepting that there are dangers out there, even to normal young people who aren’t going around looking for trouble. There was one incident where she came home and admitted that she had been at a house party and some drunken older man tried to rape her friend, and she laughed about it like it was funny-- nothing had ended up happening, after all, and they knocked the man over and ran out and everything was “totally fine.” The more time I spent in college, the more I saw that her attitude is typical, and that mine is not. That was one of the things I found most difficult to deal with about college life-- the extremely pervasive denial of danger that is so deeply ingrained in this age group. The fact that Lauren tried to walk home alone at that late hour, unless we hear that this was out of character for her, does not surprise me in the least and does not strike me as significant-- again, unless we hear that this was out of character for her. This is just the kind of stupid thing girls her age do. And boys, for that matter. Not everyone is that flippant about the danger but unfortunately there is a culture of ignorance to danger in this age group.</p>

75

<p>I get all confused by the names of everyone involved in this sad story, so I included them here. Apologies if you’re upset I write these names, but I got them from news coverage stories. This has been difficult for everyone involved and we pray for resolution soon.
Hadar Tamir - roommate
Smallwood Plaza - dorm (or sorority house)
Kilroy Sports Bar - where Lauren went to and met friends/acquaintances
Corey Rossman - LS barely knew him, met again @ Kilroy’s
Mike Beth - Rossman’s roommate
Jay Rosenbaum - friend who introduced Tamir & LS to others at Kilroy’s
Jesse Wolff - BF</p>

<p>And from the latest news coverage: “Police for the first time Monday acknowledged that they have received information that college student Lauren Spierer may have overdosed on cocaine and that the student or students who were with her panicked and disposed of her body.”</p>

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<p>Thanks Lima for the “who’s who”. I get confused when I hear the news about this girl.</p>

<p>“Police for the first time Monday acknowledged that they have received information that college student Lauren Spierer may have overdosed on cocaine and that the student or students who were with her panicked and disposed of her body.” </p>

<p>I am trying to imagine what would make someone do that (dispose of a body). There’s got to be some level of guilt (real or assumed) about the circumstances under which she theoretically overdosed. Did this come after the night of drinking or was it going on during the night of drinking? All I can say is – she looks like a tiny girl. Doesn’t take too much to send her flying.</p>

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<p>limabeans, here’s one small correction to your list. Smallwood Plaza is a private, off-campus apartment complex.</p>

<p>Still praying for the Spierer family.</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>She had a heart condition of some kind, right? If she was at the last kid’s apartment, and they were drinking and doing coke and her heart suddenly failed–isn’t that more or less what happened to Len Bias?–I can see the kid freaking out and trying to move her body to a location where he wouldn’t be implicated. After all, if they were doing coke there would be evidence of it in the apartment and in his bloodstream, and if he simply called the police he would undoubtedly be arrested for possession. (I can’t see them praising him for doing the right thing despite the consequences for him.) Frankly, I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised if they tried to pin felony murder on him also, even though her participation was completely voluntary and the reason she died was her underlying heart condition, especially if he supplied the coke.</p>

<p>In this sort of situation the family of the deceased often joins in baying for the blood of the other(s) involved, even if the death was in fact the deceased’s own “fault.” I’ve seen it SO often in cases of fatal accidents involving DUI. Three drunk kids get in a car and drive, there is an accident, and the driver survives. The parents of the kid(s) who died are in court demanding that the driver receive the maximum sentence and claiming that it was all his fault and he is a murderer. Nevermind that their own kid was equally drunk, got into the car voluntarily, knew the driver was drunk, and could just as easily have been the one behind the wheel. I have the utmost sympathy for any parent who loses a child in any circumstances, let alone something so horrific and so wasteful, but still.</p>

<p>Of course, this is all hypothetical. It might just be student rumor. This is an unending nightmare for the Spierer family.</p>

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<p>An old friend of my sister’s, an 18 year old, died of a heroin overdose at a party last fall. The story goes that the kids were too far gone themselves to see how sick their friend was and do anything, and by the time he arrived at the hospital it was too late. At least in that case, nobody was prosecuted for possession.</p>

80

<p>Another correction. The story as given out to the media is that after the altercation at Smallwood where the young man was hit, LS walked him to his place where his roommate says he put the injured man to bed. The story is that LS hung around that cluster of apartments until after 4AM and then decided to walk home. This story is substantiated by several students. One of them saw LS to the door and watched her walk down the street. Two of the young men who were there with her state that they did try to get her to stay the night, but she insisted on going back to her own apartment. </p>

<p>The boyfriend did not see LS that night at all from what the media says and what LS’s roommate states. He was supposed to meet up with her but did not because he could not contact her since her cell phone was left at the bar. He continued to try to call her until finally the bar let him know that the phone was left there. He then asked for the apartment key from the roommate to see if LS was back there. She was not. He and the roommates were the ones who filed the missing persons report and contacted the parents. This was all done within a half day and the parents immediately came to Bloomington. </p>

<p>The boyfriend was told he was not to join the search or have anything to do with search efforts and that he was a person of interest in the case. He returned to his home in NY where he is now and has a lawyer just as the 3 young men who live near each other and were with LS last have. They were given the same instructions, but two of them including the one who was hit and has no memory of the evening, have summer classes and are still in town, subject to a lot of speculation, ridicule and media attention from what I have been told, along with the fact that they persons of interest. Their apartments, cars have been searched and they have given DNA samples and some of them have submitted to polygraphs. </p>

<p>However, Lauren disappeared, it was not by those 2 young men’s vehicles,the two who have remained in town as the cars have been examined and released to them. There are a number of theories of what could have happened, the simplest being that someone driving down the road saw a pretty slip of blond girl walking who was probably a bit out of it. It would have taken an instant to stuff her in the car and drive away and if it happened outside of the range of the security cameras, which it had to have, if this indeed happened, then there is no sign at all of the abduction and she can be anywhere. The perp could be connected to the university, or a random person just going by who saw easy pickings. It could have been someone she knew which would have made it even easier to get her in the car with no force needed at all. </p>

<p>That those young men let her go alone is really an issue that all of us with young adults should address, never mind the obvious one of not walking around alone at night especially in compromised condition. They did, at best, act unchivalrousy. Perhaps they were not in shape to be walking around either. I don’t think they were just watching TV and munching on chips and drinking bottled water at 3-4 AM. An ominous theory is that maybe she never left there at all on her own; we have only their word that she did. But thorough searches of the apartments there and the students’ vehicles have come up empty. </p>

<p>So there you have the case as released by the media with the two main theories. The area has been canvassed thorough by police and volunteers as well as by trained dogs, that it seems highly unlikely that Lauren is there dead or alive. Someone had to have transported her elsewhere. Where and what happened next are the big questions. Maybe she is being kept like Elizabeth Smart was. Maybe she is still hiding out and has decided not to come back. The other possibilities are much darker. </p>

<p>So everyone and anyone who knew her and/or saw her that night is being carefully examined, some more than others. T Some IU students are complaining that the police are giving inordinate attention to those who knew Lauren instead of looking for her. </p>

<p>The one thing that gets me curious that has not been addressed is who the person was who got into the fight with the young man with Lauren in Smallwood. The young man had apparently gotten into trouble in that building before and was on a no trespassing list which is probably why he had to leave the premises after being confronted (maybe with his status) and why Lauren took him home. It has been said that the unidentified person is a friend of Lauren’s boyfriend. Maybe. Maybe not. Could be someone who knew that guy was not allowed in the building and was letting him know. The police certainly have the statements as well as camera footage about the altercation, and the students there feel it is irrelevant to LS’s disappearance except as an unfortunate thing that may have been the cause of her walking her companion back to his place and staying there for a while instead of just going to her place.</p>