Everything you REALLY need to know starts here:

Parent Cafe
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<p>Words of wisdom if you are starting this process and are new to College Confidential. Please add your own thoughts.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Read the "Abbreviations" thread. Otherwise the lingo on this site will drive you crazy. </p></li>
<li><p>Read some of the "Official Class of 2015 Decision Results" threads for whatever you/your DS/DD's "elite" dream school is. This is probably what you want to do, anyway, to see how your DS/DD compares, so have at it. It is good to get this out of the way first, because the sooner that you realize that your "Dream School" got 30,000 applications last year, and most of the "rejected" applicants were at least as well qualified as your DS/DD, and some of the "accepted" applicants were, from what you can tell, less qualified than your DS/DD, the better off your entire family will be. That doesn't mean your DS/DD shouldn't apply to that school, it just means that you need to relax about it. Probably your DS/DD will NOT be accepted. It isn't personal. Just don't convince yourself that your darling valedictorian is a shoo in. Go ahead, visit, apply, interview, but don't count on anything.</p></li>
<li><p>DO NOT immerse yourself in the discussion threads of the Ivies, MIT, Stanford, etc. Go ahead and read some of them, but if you start feeling the urge to join in the arguments, or obsessing over threads where 8 people are debating the merits of Tufts, and whether it should be considered "elite", STOP! Go have a glass of wine, take the dog for a walk, or talk to someone who is worried about toilet training.</p></li>
<li><p>MOST IMPORTANTLY, go to the Financial Aid/Scholarships discussion pages. Skip the Scholarships threads and articles for now. Scroll through the threads and take note of how many of them start with "HELP...." "I got in but I can't afford...." "I don't understand...." "Is this REALLY all the aid I'm going to get?" This is the section of College Confidential where everyone really should start, but seems to be the place of panic and desperation where people come to at the end, way too late in the process. The lesson to take from every, single thread in the financial aid/scholarships area is: If your child is a genius, and your family is honestly poor, relax. Grants and merit money will allow your little Einstein to attend a wonderful college. If the thought of $56,000 a year for tuition, room, board and fees (2011-2012 Vanderbilt, rounded up to the nearest thousand) doesn't even make you blink because the trust fund will take care of it, relax. The other 90% of us need to START THE COLLEGE SEARCH ASSUMING THAT DS/DD WILL NOT GET ANY GRANTS OR SCHOLARSHIP OFFERS. Find some colleges that you can afford to pay for, and that your DS/DD will be happy to attend, if you end up having to pay the full sticker price. Perhaps your DS/DD will be offered a wonderful scholarship somewhere. There are lots of threads here on CC that will help you find schools that are generous with money. BUT MOST KIDS do not get merit offers, and most families don't qualify for any aid other than loans. Prepare yourself and DS/DD for that.</p></li>
<li><p>Yes, this is indeed, the very worst/hardest/craziest year of college applications and admissions in the history of the world. It IS worse than last year, and next year will be worse. Do not panic. There are at least 50 colleges in North America where your DS/DD would be a perfect candidate, can be admitted, you can pay for, and he/she will thrive in. </p></li>
<li><p>College Confidential can be a source of wonderful, helpful information. It is also the source of balderdash, puffery, lies and misinformation. Take it all with a grain of salt. There are people here who:</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Belong in a Monty Python Sketch: "AHHHH....You came here for an argument...."</p>

<p>Were Statistic Majors: "The peer assessments in USNWR is 3.6, which puts Happy University in a range with the Mid Tier, and not the Elite schools.... This is a lagging indicatior which..."</p>

<p>Have no lives: "Join Date September 2009 10,786 posts."</p>

<p>Have an overwhelming desire to impress people who they will never actually meet: "My DS had a 2400 SAT (one sitting), a 4.89 GPA, coauthored a cancer research study during the summer between his sophmore and junior year, and I'm just wondering if he needs to...."</p>

<p>However, there are a number of people here who really do have excellent, helpful, nonjudgemental information to share. Try to find them, and ignore all the trolls along the way.</p>

<ol>
<li> Remember that once upon a time you were convinced that your DD/DS just might go to kindergarten in diapers, with a binky in his pocket. He was just fine. He'll be just fine at WHATEVER college he goes to. And he will also be just fine if he takes a year or two off. Lighten up!</li>
</ol>

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<p>great thread/ post; moderators please sticky this one…</p>

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<p>Information should be judgemental. If all you want are the facts, not opinions, you can read the college websites. Being mean/nasty is rude- but people should tell it like it is and not afraid to disagree. Be honest.</p>

<p>College Confidential can be addicting. Be thankful there are some out there with experience willing to answer questions and post a lot. Be aware that cafe posts do not increase your post count.</p>

<p>Be aware that the majority of posters are concerned with the college process and the stats posted are more likely to be higher than the average college students’. Most who attend college do NOT post on CC, nor do their parents. It is a skewed population.</p>

<p>BE SURE TO AVOID REVEALING DETAILS. Do not post your name (even first names), HS name or other information someone could use to figure out who you or your child is. Some are vague on their city for this reason as well. NYC keeps you anonymous, Podunk does not.</p>

<p>TAKE ALL POSTS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. “Facts” may be in error. Be sure to verify information if it is important.</p>

<p>Do your homework. If you have questions about a college explore that website first, before asking for information available right there (this applies mainly to the kids- they ask things posters are referring back to the school website for the answer). This is a good place for opinions on what you found elsewhere. It is good for asking where to find information.</p>

<p>Expect a predominence of east coast posters. That is where a lot of the population lives, and where there are a zillion private colleges so it is hard for people to navigate the college hunt.</p>

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<p>Lovely analysis eastcoascrazy! Are you sure you weren’t a statistician in a previous life?</p>

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<p>One of the better posts that I have read on CC, that’s for sure.</p>

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<p>for happymom:</p>

<p>3 years = 1005 days</p>

<p>so you have about 7 posts per day?</p>

<p>wow . . . thank you . . . I though I was obsessed!!!</p>

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<p>I agree! Nice job OP! :)</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>Eastcoascrazy, it is pretty remarkable that someone who joined in Apr 2011 and has 4 posts thinks it is possible to dissect a community as vast as College Confidential and attempt to tell other what they REALLY need to know. </p>

<p>I happen to believe that anyone who joins this site and gives him/herself the time to LEARN how to separate the good from the bad could reach similar conclusions without that “cheat sheet.” I also believe that it should not be anyone’s objective to learn “really quickly” and follow a roadmap suggested by someone else. </p>

<p>This is a site where one learns and … shares, and for what it is worth, I think there is a lot more to learn from the advice and opinions of people who have participated and shared generously (at the risk of being called a no-life) than from someone who preaches the value of taking shortcuts. </p>

<p>In a nutshell, Eastcoascrazy, I am afraid that you have yet to discover what someone REALLY needs to know about CC. Give it some time! The journey is far more pleasurable than reaching the destination.</p>

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<p>OP, please add: </p>

<p>Read all posts by curmudgeon</p>

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<ol>
<li>If, after three years of quietly reading CC, learning to appreciate the vast store of knowledge to be found here, successfully shepherding two of your children through the college application process, and hoping to give new readers a starting point for their own quest for knowledge, you decide to post a thread starter, rest assured that someone out there will be offended and will dismiss your thoughts as inadequate because of your lack of past posts. Don’t be offended.</li>
</ol>

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<p>eastcoascrazy, you have made my day! :)</p>

<p>Seriously, great advice, all of it.</p>

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<p>Great post.</p>

<p>About 42 months. About 5000 posts. About 120 posts/month or 4 posts per day, every day… Not even counting Dressing Young or Your Good Buy of the Day…
Crap!</p>

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<p>Love the thread OP!! Brilliant! For what it’s worth, there is no way you would be able to ascertain the information that you put in your post if you hadn’t been here for a LONG time…4 posts or not…I am just astonished that you would be able to restrain yourself from posting…lol Bravo!!</p>

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<p>

Apparently that’s just your opinion. I think it’s one of the best threads I’ve ever seen started.</p>

<p>Don’t forget this tidbit: If you think you can start college in a state other than your own and become eligible for instate tuition after a year because your neighbor did, give it up.</p>

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<p>And the 2 best pieces of advice ever on CC - words to LIVE by:</p>

<p>1) Love the kid on the couch - not the kid you wish you had.<br>
(The kid on the couch is the one you are helping to find a college - he may not have a 2400 SAT… or an SAT that has a 2 as the first digit. He may not have taken AP classes. She might not be a star athlete or musician. Don’t fret over it. Work with what the kid DOES have, to help them find the best fit for THEM.)</p>

<p>2) Love thy safety.</p>

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<p>OP, YOUR OPENING POST WAS AWESOME! </p>

<p>I have been mostly reading here (a.k.a lurking) since last August but I occasionally I post something and I say BRAVO to this thread! Your intro managed to put into words the exact essence of the way I, and apparently lots of others, have come to feel about CC! </p>

<p>Why do I find myself almost addicted to reading posts here? For me it’s a little like hunting through the clearance racks at my favorite department store: PLENTY of stuff that I don’t want, need, or can use. There’s lots of stuff that isn’t my size/taste, wrong for the occasion or is just plain crap. But every now and then I find something that I can really, really use that fits my situation perfectly and there is a certain “high” I get from it. </p>

<p>My oldest son will be off to college this fall (two visits in the next 7 days will dictate where!) but he has 2 brothers coming up behind him so I imagine I’ll be “shopping” here for the foreseeable future.</p>

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<p>I’m with sonasmi. This thread is awesome! Brilliant analysis by the OP. </p>

<p>I, like sonsasmi, find myself browsing through the clearance racks. I don’t post often as I often don’t have answers for people. A few of my kids are in college already, but we didn’t go through the angst that some here seem to go through. For us, the process was very simple and straightforward. But I am addicted to reading here and I refer people here all the time. This is a great place to hang out!</p>

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<p>You really know you are hooked when you start quoting off the site in day to day conversation. I know I post too much and I also know that I am too lazy to figure out my daily average! I will leave that to one of the overachievers. :)</p>

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<p>“There are at least 50 colleges in North America where your DS/DD would be a perfect candidate, can be admitted, you can pay for, and he/she will thrive in.”
excuse me, I hatE to be the first one to throw any cold water on this otherwise fine post, but there are HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of colleges in NA that kids can get in, thrive at, etc, etc, not just 50 or so!.</p>

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<p>Love the post of encouragement to others! It is true, on CC if you don’t have 2000+ posts forget it- you are risking even posting- let alone disagree with a “senior” member! The barracuda of senior members may attack and you will retreat for months. But, because it IS a bit like treasure hunting at a “sale” it can be addicting and funny. </p>

<p>Also, because people don’t have a lot of post means nothing- they can lurk for years and gather their info., but at some point may feel brave enough to stick their 2 cents in…might not go so well and the retreat for months again.</p>

<p>Curmudgeon was an active poster when I started lurking, and the sole reason I kept coming back for a read- until I was hooked. Talented writer and very good thinker that Curmudgeon-and funny with grace.</p>

<p>The west coast is under represented on CC considering the population- but they also don’t really care about much more than Stanford, CalTech, UCB/UCLA - really. Harvard is just for fun for most families. But we love to get all heated up about the UC’s!</p>