Expensive private high school to fill in the learning gaps? Worth the college admissions edge?

Parents Forum Learning Differences and Challenges - LD, ADHD
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<p>Please help me think this through. If you had to pay about $30,000 out of pocket for two years at a specialized private high school that's designed to fill in the gaps for a kid with LD and ADHD, but you had to take (maybe $15K) from your healthy retirement savings to afford it, what should you be considering? The goal would be to prepare a child for general college success, where the public school isn't doing its job on that front, despite IEP and the works. </p>

<p>Perhaps with the investment, the child would be better prepared for college (test scores, study skills, reduced academic gaps, etc.). Perhaps the student could become more competitive for college programs. But, basically, we'd be spending money NOW we'd would likely have used for college in the FUTURE (but perhaps employing only college student loans and current income then). If a student can become better prepare, then they have a bit more chance at college merit aid or acceptance at the desired college. At least that's what I'm wondering. </p>

<p>Please help me look at this from all angles. Thanks!</p>

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<p>This is a tough decision that you should make with your tax accountant and financial advisor if at all possible. This would also imply that you consult these professionals and I am sure many do not have access. I don’t know your age but there are tax consequences to pulling out money prior to the 59 and 1/2. You will pay penalties and taxes so that in order to clear the 15K you have to pull out more $$. The retirement wisdom is to never touch your retirement savings because you lose out on compounding, further earnings etc.</p>

<p>However, I do know what it is like to try to give your child the best start in life possible. There are a couple of schools in this area that offer the intensive learning supports for learning differences. These tend to cost 50-60K or more. I am guessing that you have exhausted your IEP reviews with the school district? I hope you had an advocate with you at these meetings. Many school districts provide a list of advocates that do not charge fees. They are essentially parents with experience. In our area, hiring a well known lawyer who specializes in this type of law would make the school district cry uncle. The lawyers cost $$ and don’t come cheap. </p>

<p>If you feel you need to move ahead, do you know what the school you have in mind has as a success rate with kids with yours child’s needs? Many of the schools in our area do not think one year will bring the kid up to speed and will take a couple of years. Are you prepared to commit to an even greater layout down the road? I do not know that I helped but I would try to consult some people with expertise in the field. </p>

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<p>Thank you, @grx567. We’re awaiting feedback from our financial advisor, so that we’ll have all the numbers. Thanks for highlighting penalties. We’re not yet 59.5, so we will have penalties, but now I’m wondering if it matters if the withdrawal is for education/tuition, is that somehow favored with lower penalties. I’ll be sure to ask. </p>

<p>We’ve been saving for retirement with the expectation that we wouldn’t touch it for anything else. But, now our DD has a chance to attend a school more suited to her needs and we hadn’t expected such a wonderful option. While the full-pay tuition is more like $40,000/SY, we are eligible for fin aid. At this point, we have to decide if spending so much is “worth it.” </p>

<p>I’m starting out with the thought that it is, while DH is starting out with the thought that the price is out of our reach. He’s open to the discussion and so am I. My buddies seem to support the “invest in your high school kid” approach, and they are definitely swaying me. However, our educational consultant is concerned about moving into the unknown (a new school) and leaving the known public school, where a comprehensive IEP is in place (but not implemented so much). So, I’m asking myself to consider a “worst case scenario”: If we pay about $30K to cover the two years needed at the new school ($15K/SY - or more if penalties for tapping some retirement funds), and there were NO significant academic results from our DD, how would I feel? Would I be OK with it? I think I very well might. </p>

<p>Still, I can’t believe that this new school’s work with our DD would fail to help her is so many ways even beyond academics. While the school doesn’t use the IEP process under IDEA, it does have a personalized learning plan. We have up-to-date testing to use for this, as well. Already, we’re planning for a gap year (a low expense!) that she can use to bolster her skills and experiences even more, as it seems clear her ACT/SAT scores and other markers are likely not to show her full potential by the time she leave HS (so says the neuropsych — she has a bunch of catching up to do). So, the new school could serve as a launching pad for post-HS/pre-college year.</p>

<p>I’ll keep working on this dilemma. I want to make sure I have no stars in my eyes when we make this decision. I’m sure that the district does not have what she needs, but she could continue with the bird in hand (and just
“live” with the consequences. However, I feel 99 percent confident the DD would be much HAPPIER at the new school. Priceless? Hmm. Thanks, again!</p>

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<p>You seem to be taking a very good approach. I especially like that you have considered that all benefits may not be academic. I know how these kids can suffer in the herd mentality that pervades high school. I hope there is some kind of work around because of how you are using the money. The only other caveat I would offer is that you gain some kind of assurance from the school she will attend that the money you withdraw from the retirement funds does not figure into the next year’s FA process. I state this because there was a post by a family who withdrew money form retirement accounts due to a spouse’e job loss. This rendered them ineligible for FA because with the withdrawal their income doubled. This applied to a family whose DD was attending Union college so I am not sure how a HS would handle the situation. </p>

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<p>“The only other caveat I would offer is that you gain some kind of assurance from the school she will attend that the money you withdraw from the retirement funds does not figure into the next year’s FA process.” Oh, my! I hadn’t even thought of that, although I’ve read about this caution regarding COLLEGE fin aid planning. Whoa. THANKS, AGAIN. </p>

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<p>Our situaton was different because our daughter was much younger when we put her in a school for kids with learning disabilities – second grade. However, I can tell you that it was night and day for our daughter. I didn’t even realize how much her failures in school during kindergarten and first grade were affecting her until I saw how happy and confident she became in a school where she felt comfortable and her needs were being met. And there’s no point in saving for college if your child finishes high school unprepared for college, or dislikes school and doesn’t want to continue.
On the other hand, I would want to make sure it is the right place before I handed over my money! Can your daughter be a “student for a day” and really see if she feels like she fits in? </p>

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<p>@Brdngschlmom - Absolutely. It’s very tricky trying to figure out the right school or if the actual experience of the school will meet expectations. Just look at all the angst regarding COLLEGE choice at CC (guess DD has a few years before that arrives)! :wink: I came up with this analogy yesterday to help our decision: What if DD had a PHYSICAL disability? And the choice was between letting her limp along impaired or trying a not-guaranteed, but fairly accepted and common, treatment that costs big out-of-pocket bucks? Which would we pick? </p>

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<p>dyiu when you talk about “gaps” in the academics, and then propose such an expensive special placement, I’m not following. If the gaps are indeed large and affecting all areas of her academics, and you’ve verified that the school has a successful track history and uses scientifically valid teaching techniques, then I would say yes it is worth it. </p>

<p>If it’s a good school using proper teaching methods you are setting your daughter up for a lifetime of success - not just for college. </p>

<p>On the other hand, removing her from her regular routine with long-time friends and a general-ed student population can be very difficult socially and emotionally. It’s only something I would recommend if you’ve determined there’s no other way to fill in the “gaps” (such as with additional outside services, tutoring, etc.)</p>

<p>Best to you and your daughter. </p>

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<p>Thanks, @Mondut. She’s been educated in a such a rare, alternative universe for so long, this new school will be normalizing — even though it embraces & includes many LD students. She’s not leaving any old friends (there aren’t really any) or the rich offerings of a regular, large public HS — those were not part of her world. Actually, already it’s apparent she’s developing more friends and “normal” activities through her new (and small) school than she’s ever had before — and she’s only in early-days, just now moving through the orientation process. So, the social/emotional front has never looked more promising. </p>

<p>Regarding the academics: assistive technology is evidently used extensively, current students articulately testify that they are learning “better” than in their previous schools, the sequencing of course offerings through senior year seem really well designed, and the academic supports are integrated/built into the school day. From what I can tell, the teaching is solid, although I don’t know enough yet about the curriculum or if it’s evidence-based. The literature touts the use of “best-practices,” but, of course, we’ll have to see what really happens. (My child is very self-motivated to work on her gaps, so that will help.) Seems like they do walk the talk. A lot of the folks involved with the school (trustees, advisers, staff, etc.) have cred in the world of education of kids with LDs. </p>

<p>Yes, it does feel like we’re investing in building a strong foundation for her — the whole teach a man to fish (to learn) thing. Better to do this sooner rather than later. Yes, it’s scary, because education “outcome” is not guaranteed. But when we examined all her choices for HS, it seems that this choice is the best one going forward. — It just might mean she’ll be living at home when she goes to college because our funds are now going into her high schooling, which we hadn’t planned.</p>

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<p>Can you stay in public school and supplement with tutoring? A tutor skilled in led would offer efficient one on one learning and is likely much cheaper than private school.</p>

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<p>@Maximum1 No, staying in a dysfunctional and inappropriate local public high school is not an option. I daydream about homeschooling with tutor supplement, but that does not fit DD or the family either. At this point, with junior year starting, we’ve decided that our DD’s HS search is over, for better or worse, until graduation they do part. </p>

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<p>Suggest u re-post this thread on the Prep School Parents board. There are not infrequent debates on whether it’s worth it for middle class parents to use money up front to develop kids in HS, or save the money for college later. There are also threads about LD and ADHD needs. It is a very supportive forum.
<a href=“Prep School Parents - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>I don’t have inside knowledge or information on this topic but I’ll speak generally…if my kid had an issue going on, I would work to correct it earlier rather than later…so if it meant taking college money, so to speak, and using it on high school, I would do that because sending a kid to college who is not prepared is a waste of that money anyway, ya know? </p>

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<p>@GMTplus7‌ - Thanks, I’ll check those out. We’re now firmly on this new path with the special private learning-differences schools, and are delighted so far. But I would welcome insights from others! We’re easing into the idea that we might now not be able to fund room/board/travel at a college, so we’ll have time to shift that dream. The GC should be able to help us with this, but we seem to have a great range of college options for her (relying on tuition exchange, and have a super-safety financially). I’m glad we’re making this investment now in her HS education. </p>

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<p>I’d work backwards. Start with where you see her succeeding in college, and then look at everything you need to do to ensure that she has a good shot of getting in (and, of course, that you can afford it). Maybe even talk to admissions people at a couple of colleges and ask their opinion?</p>

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<p>@sally305‌ Good plan. Am starting that now, collecting info on the types of programs, admissions stats/chances, costs…all as far as can be guessitmated now for a DD16. We’ve been focused on her progress for many years now, but launch-time is nearing. I think she’s going to be ready for some college or another. </p>